Oh, Fat Tony

You know it is bad in sports, when even the cars are juicing. This week Joe Gibbs Racing and Co. were fined points and suspended for their dirty dealings in the Nationwide Series. This includes Sprint series driver and all around lovable guy, Tony Stewart.

Masking horsepower with magnets makes no sense to me, but funny, I don't really see anyone being outraged over this. I guess your sport has to end in "Ing" for anyone to care. You know, like swimming, cycling, running, things like that. We sure know no one really cares if the sport ends in ball. Football players look perfectly normal, and Barry Bond's head is naturally that large. (Okay, that one may be true)

We are all so quick to call someone a cheat, as long as it doesn't mess up the line on the game. Now, how do we react to cheating in NASCAR's step-brother? Nothing. Barely a blip outside the confederate flag set. Come on sports, get real. Cheating is cheating is cheating. A sports popularity or lack there of shouldn't matter. If we care about this, then someone has to start caring about other sports too.

Magnets as performance enhancers. I always knew "The Fridge" was up to no good.

Yeah Girl!

Amid the O's beating the Yank's for the second night in a row, the Cat's turning a close 3 point game into a 40 point ass kicking over Sydney, the Caps holding on in their series against Philly, and the mind numbing waist of time that is the NBA, there was a sports first last night. Half the world away, Danica Patrick won her first race, to become the first woman to ever win an open wheeled race. Ever. She has been dogged by the Anna Kournikova "pretty but can't win" criticism ever since she put on a fire suit, but no she's put all that to an end.

No one ever questioned if Phil Mickelson could play golf, they just questioned if he could win a major. Danica, however, never even got the decency of people assuming that she knew what she was doing out on the track, despite her multiple top 5 finishes. There will be some who still scoff and say that she is only in the sport (and I use the term loosely) because she is an oddity, and a chance for more exposure for sponsors. They can say that all they want, but they can't take that shiny cup away from her.

Who's Turning Me On Now: Danica Patrick

So the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is out. I have no real strong feelings on this, which may come as a bit of a surprise, because: A) I'm a dude B) I love T&A and C) I'm a dude. Sure it doesn't make any sense that a sports publication has been putting bikini clad women in their pages for half a decade. (even if some of them are athletes or athlete's wives) On the other hand, you can see women with less on in the pages of about 96.3% of the mags on the shelves these days.

All that aside, I was immediately stuck with how hot Danica Patrick is. Sure, she may not have the same curves as some of the other models, but she has a real woman thing goin' on that really does it for me. I don't know if she'll ever win a race, but I do know she is a better driver than Anna Kournikova was a tennis player. Plus, you have to take your hat off to a woman who drives a car at 200 plus MPH with no drawers on. In her corresponding interview with the otherwise unemployed Dan Patrick, Danica cops to not wearing bottoms under her fire suit on race days. "Yeah, well, you know... they get in the way" she said before changing the subject. Damn! That's my kind of woman! I'll never be able to look at her the same when I watch Indy Car racing. Shit! I just admitted that I'm one of a dozen people who watches an Indy race from time to time. I'll hand in my card... In the meantime, here are some shots of Danica in all her hotness.

Exhibit A)

Exhibit B)

Exhibit C)