Is it time to call up USC?

In some of the European Soccer leagues a team can move up or down from one league to another based on their play. It is my humble opinion that it's time to move the St. Louis Rams to the PAC-10 and call up the USC Trojans. Southern Cal has a number of NFL starters on it's roster, the same can hardly be said for the Rams, at least when it comes to the big uglies. Saying the Rams suck is being unfair to all things that have sucked in the past.

The caper to the Rams wretched season isn't that they are second to last in both points scored and points allowed (39 Scored, 103 allowed). No the real kicker is that they are turning to Gus Frerotte to start this weekends game against Arizona. Gus motherfucking Frerotte! Don't get me wrong here, Gus is a fine enough back up. Hell, he has a 33-30-1 record as a starter (Inky and I were at that tie against the Giants where Gus famously headbutted the wall after scoring his TD). He has guided a few teams to winning records, was a probowl selection in '96 and has a funny name. Everything you could want in a backup QB. But, by going to him now all you're doing is telling the offensive line that they suck so bad that they can't be trusted to keep Marc Bulger alive. This is classic giving up if I've ever seen it.

I think the Men of Troy could do a bit of a better job protecting J.D. Booty's booty against NFL defenses then the O-Line in Saint Lou are doing for Bulger and Frerotte. So the time is now to make the move. While we're at it, maybe we should move Notre Dame to Division III too, just to be on the safe side.

Introducing: XL

This is the second in our meet the staff series. Today we focus on our second male staffer. Lets take a moment to meet XL shall we.

Full Name: XL Johnson Esq

Location: Hurlock, MD

When did you first meet the other I&TSG members: College

Favorite Teams (in order): Ravens, Orioles, Duke Basketball, MD Football

Top 5 Sports Movies: Field of Dreams, Major League, Necessary Roughness,Bull Durham, and Caddyshack

Favorite Sports moment (in person or on TV): Tie Being there for Cal Ripken's last game and being there for Ripken's induction.

Sports Dream: The Orioles and Ravens winning their respective championships in the same year

Best story about meeting a pro athlete: Got to play with Brooks Robinson in Carlisle PA and I took him deep.

If you were a closer what would your introduction music be: Real American (Hulk Hogan's 80's WWF Intro) and I'd tear my warm up off as I reached the mound.

Favorite Curse word: Fuck or Cunt

If god exists what would you like him to say to you upon entering heaven? Whasuuup like the guys from the Bud commercials

Andruw Jones... Worth Big Bucks?

So the Atlanta Braves have decided to let Andruw Jones go, a move many thought was coming when the they went out and got Mark Texiera. The question is: where will Jones wind up next year? He is only 30 years old (I know it seams like he should be 35 by now doesn't it) and he is still a very good player. But, is he worth 10 to 18 million a year? I don't think so. He isn't a game changer like A Rod is or even a guy like Alfonso Soriano is. Let's take a look at Jones' career numbers: .263-368-1117. That sounds great when you think of all that power and all those runs, and when you add in his .839 OPS he sounds like an offensive force, but this number floored me. $73,000,000. That is the amount he has made in his big league career which has spanned 12 years making it only about 6 million a year. But if you look at his last 6 years he has made 11.53 million a year. Plus he's always had Chipper protecting him in the line up.

What will Andruw do on his own? Some team (and god I hope it isn't' the Orioles) is going to give him 90 million over 5 years to come in and hit .255-28-109 when they could just develop a guy to do that. But, Jones will get the money because he has a name, he has those homers against the Yankees in the '96 Series, and he is an obvious choice if you don't take the time to think about ROI.

I'd Hit That: Simone Laudehr

A few months back Inky let the world know that she was warm for Eli's form. So I figured it was my turn to point out an athlete who is lookin' good-a. Meet 21 year old Simone Laudehr who scored the second goal in Germany's 2-0 World Cup win. I don't know if I've ever seen a more sculpted body that still looked feminine, I mean... God Damn! Simone may have the best body in the world, plus she can play too. I must say that I was a bit uncomfortable to see this sentence in the story about the game: "The physically stronger Germans were throwing their weight around..." and I'm not even Polish. Seriously, tip of the cap to the German women for sticking with their starting goal tender and winning the Cup, and for all the hotness too, can't forget Simone's hotness.

I'm In Good Company

Looks like the list of people who support the Geelong Cats in America is growing. In addition to yours truly, and perhaps XL, Kelly Clarkson has decided to barrak for the Cats. While touring Oz she got the opportunity to sing on The Footy Show and she threw her hat in with the Cats, predicting that their 44 year Premiership drought would come to an end. While this isn't a Nostradamus like prediction, she got it right. Thanks to Dave's Football Blog for the tip.

Indroducing: Greazy Tony

Each Day this week we're going to let you get to know one of the Inky and the Sports Guys staff. Today we spotlight Greazy:

Full Name: Greazy Anthony

Location: York, Pennsylvania (Born in MD, Raised in NJ)

When did you first meet the other I&TSG members: I met XL on the first day of college. We became friends later that night when he pulled my drunk ass out of the street and carried me back to the dorm. I met Inky at the College Radio station and we didn’t like each other at first. They we kinda liked each other and then we REALLY liked each other.

Favorite Teams (in order): Washington Redskins, Baltimore Orioles, Geelong Cats, York College Spartans, York Revolution, Maryland Basketball, Seattle Storm, East Lincoln (NE) Little League…

Top 5 Sports Movies: 5) Major League ’89 4) Bull Durham ’89 3) Hoosiers ’86 2) Caddy Shack ’80 1) Field of Dreams ’88. Back to School just missed… they had swimming.

Favorite Sports moment (in person or on TV): October 6th 2001, XL and I went to Cal Ripken’s Last game. And if Brady Anderson could have kept his roided up bat on his shoulder, Cal would have had a chance to bat once more. Dick…

Sports Dream: Being on hand to watch one of my teams win a title. As much as I love the Skins the O’s and the rest I think the one I would most like to see is The York College Men’s Basketball team win the Division III titles (we were oh so close in ’04) because it is closer to me.

Best story about meeting a pro athlete: I was a camera operator for a TV station in Boston during the summer of ’97 and my first assignment was to get locker room interviews after a game. Let’s just say that Mo Vaughn, Jimmy Williams and Nomar all air dry. My camera shots of all of them were so tight that all you could see was face, nothing else. I just didn’t want to accidentally film a big steaming pile of cock.

If you were a closer what would your introduction music be: Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin

Favorite Curse word: Cunt

If god exists what would you like him to say to you upon entering heaven? Welcome to heaven you dirty ole cunt. We’ve got playstation 27!

The Rockies Won't Be Denied, Till Now.

After their amazing come from behind, extra inning win last night, can the Colorado Rockies have anything left for the Philadelphia Phillies? They have won 14 of their last 15 games and watched their competition drop by the wayside before helping the San Deigo Padres to the side themselves. Is there enough in the tank after all they've been through to win in their series with the Phillies, who also had an amazing push to win their division. The short answer is: maybe, but no. I think the Rockies will end up losing in 4 to the Phills, but what a story those Rockies have been. Down by two in the bottom of the 13th and they go: double, double, triple, sac fly against Trevor Hoffman. Maybe they are just too young to know any better. Here are my playoff predictions:

Boston vs The Los Angles Angles of the Orange County town of Anaheim: Beckett will win game one over Lackey but Matsuzaka will drop game two to Escobar before Schilling wins game 3 over Weaver. Then Beckett wins game 4. Boston in 4.

Cleveland vs New York: I just don't see how the Yankees will beet Sabathia and Carmona three times, but they are the Yankees so this series will go 5. A-Rod will snap out of his playoff funk just in time to cash in with the Cubs or the Redsox, but New Yorks starting pitching lets them down. Indians in 5.

Arizona vs Chicago: I think this it the most interesting series. There are many reasons to pick the upstart D-backs, but I still maintain that the Cubs will win because a winning Cubs team means less money for Tribune when they sell the team later this year. The new owner wants to buy the hapless Cubs and make them a winner, not the winning Cubs only to have them start to suck. Chicago in 4.

Philadelphia vs Colorado. God I would have loved to see an all mountain time zone NLCS but I just don't see it happening. The Phillies are going too good right now, and are only slightly less fatigued than the Rockies. Philadelphia in 4.

Take it to the People's Court!!

As if we haven't heard enough about the Patriots "tape gate" scandal we now have a Jets fan with too much time on his hand filing a ridiculous law suit. Carl Mayer of Princeton New Jersey has nothing better to do with his time than to file a class action law suit against the Patriots and Bill Belichick claiming consumer fraud. He claims that the Patriots and Belichick broke New Jersey racketeering laws as well as the New Jersey Consumer Fraud Act by video taping the Jets defensive signals in a game earlier this season. Of course the league has already disciplined the Pats as well as Belichick and we have heard way to much about this story. Now we have this moron trying to gain $184 million for Jets ticket holders for all games played at Giants Stadium between the Jets and the Patriots since Belichick has been the coach.

This type of thing is what is wrong with America. All we seem to hear about are frivilous law suits that tie up the courts and our tax dollars. This guy evidently has a history of filing these types of cases. At some point I think the New Jersey Bar should look at this guys history and decide if he is doing any good as a lawyer or just wasting all of our time. So Carl Mayer, you have the official distinction as being my stiff of the week!!!

Aussie Rules Football aka Footy....Finally An International Sport Worth Watching

Last night I busted my footy cherry so to speak. As I sat here with Greazy in the wee hours of the morning I saw his beloved Geelong Cats put the ultimate smack down on their opponents. I was very entertained for the first half as the action is fast and constant. There are very few stopages in the Aussie version of our new national past time which makes it that much more entertainment. You also realize what kind of athletes these guys are when they take a huge hit but then come back and make a precise kick for 6 points. After watching this I could see myself enjoying a full season although I'm now ruined forever on rugby. Not that I ever watched rugby in the first place but this game seems to be much more action packed. Finally an international sport I can get down with!! It's about time!!! Congrats Cats it was a long 44 years!

The Cats Capture the Grail

They were marching as one on the road to the holy grail, or so said Hunters and Collectors. And last night the Geelong Cats won it by beating Port Adelaide 24.19(163) to 6.8(44). For those of you who don't know a lot about Aussie rules, that's 24 six point goals and 19 one point behinds for Geelong to Port's 6 six point goals and 8 one point behinds. That's an ass kicking in any language, in any country. And least you think that's how all AFL games go, last year's grand final was decided by one point.

The folks in Geelong have been waiting for 44 years for this flag, and now it's here. Not only did they win the the AFL premiership, but they won the VFL premiership, The Brownlow Medal the NAB Rising Star (read rookie of the year) and the Coach of the Year. They were all conquering heros in every facet of the game through out this season and now the discussion begins over if this '07 Cats team is the best side to ever play footy.

At the half: Cats up huge

I'm on the road at the casa de XL watching my Footy club kick the everloving shit out of their opponents in the AFL Grand Final. The Cats are up 11.13(79) to 4.3(27) over the Port Adelaide Power. There's still a lot of footy to play, but I may be watching the first title from one of my teams in a long ass time. So far the team hasn't suffered from having gently used Steven King (pictured above) on the pitch, nor have they seen any negative effects of Jimmy Bartell winning the Brownlow. After the game XL will let you know what he thinks about the Footy, and I will weigh in with my match thoughts.

Dance With The One Who Brough Ya

There's that old saying about not changing horses in mid stream, and yet some coaches don't seem to realize. Greg Ryan decided to bench young goal tender Hope Solo (pictured left) in an attempt to go back to the past of the US women's Soccer team. Sometimes coaches want to prove how smart they are, and in the end that is their undoing. Ryan remembered that Brianna Scurry beet Brazil in the last World Cup, and he decided to start her in goal over Hope Solo who had posted 3 straight shut outs. How's that workin' for you Greg?

Over in Australia my team, The Geelong Cats, are just hours away from playing in the Grand Final of Aussie Rules. The Cats coach Bomber Thompson has decided to sit Ruckman Mark Blake, who's played most of the season and all of the post season, in favor of former Captain Steven King. King, who's best years in the ruck may be behind him, is said to be better equipped to handle this big game. We'll see how this all works out.

It all reminds me of that classic movie... Necessary Roughness. "Maybe now's not the best time to make sure everybody's played. I haven't played, are you going to put me in? The funny thing is that movie featured a Femal Soccer Goal Tender, and an Aussie Rules player. The circle of life!

Greazy Law #1

In the first of what will undoubtedly be a long running series I have come up with my first all binding proclamation. Once Greazy has spoken, my directives must be heeded.

From this point forward no video of Ron Mexico (AKA Mike Vick) can be shown on the net, TV or in private homes unless the music from Benny Hill or Keystone Cops is playing in the background.

This guy is either the biggest fuck up of all time, or he has a set the size of bowling balls. He tested positive for Mary Jane, while awaiting sentencing for dog fighting and had the nerve to say it was medicinal. "It's for my cataracts" So it is blogged, so let it be done.

More Screwing than Bob Villa

The hits keep on coming for my good on paper, yet staggeringly disappointing Accountabilabuddies. First, LT has been an unmitigated failure. Every time I bench Favre, he goes off. Not that Deuce McAllister was getting me any points anyway, but now his bitch ass is out for the year. As I now scan that tatters that are the available players in my league, all I can do is sign McAllisters' backup, in the hopes he will now share the carries with Reggie Bush.

This is the last time I play fantasy football. And, this time, I really mean it.

Stud of the Week.....The KC Wolf

This is the funniest video of the short NFL season. The mascot for the Kansas City Chiefs for some reason is a Wolf. I'm sure that there is a good reason for this but to me it makes no sense. In most cases I'd make Kansas City my stiff of the week for this but the Wolf is a true hero. As you'll see in the video some drunk moron decided to run out on the field. While security couldn't catch him the KC Wolf stepped it up a notch and not only made the best hit of the day for a KC player he followed it up with a belly flop. He then posed for the cameras while the police arrested the moron on the field. A greater feat of heroism has not been seen since 9/11. So I hereby make the KC Wolf my Stud of the Week. On a side note I'd like to make Larry Johnson and his pathetic first three weeks of performance my stiff of the week. Come on Larry, you're making the big money now, lets earn it damn it!!!!

QB Has to Pay For Poon?

I saw this story on ESPN and it made me wonder what has happened to College Football in this Country. Antonio Henton, the future star QB of THE Ohio State University was picked up for solicitation. What has this world come to? A football player at a major Football school can't 'complete a pass' with our paying for it? I think Jim Tressel should lose his job over this. Next thing you know this kid will be stealing stereo equipment out of someones car...

Obscure Sports Quarterly

Lucky for me XL gets The Ocho. That's right! This weekend I'm taking my most recent copy of OSQ and heading down to XL's lair to watch the Australian Rules Football Grand Final, live at midnight. My Geelong Cats take on The Port Adelaid Power in a game that holds a lot of story lines. The Cats last loss (and one of only 3 in 24 total games played this year) came at the hands of Port back on August 26th.

The Cat's are also aiming to go undefeated in Melbourne this year, having won all their previous games at MCG and Telstra Dome so far. If they do win, they will also become the first Victorian team to win since Essendon did it back in 2000. That would be like as big to the people of Victoria as a Stanley Cup would be to the people of Canada after waiting since '93 to see one of their teams hoist it.

One other storyline revolves around how the Cats players will react to Jimmy Bartel wining the Brownlow Medal, which is like the Aussie Rules MVP. Most people thought the winner would be Bartel's teammate, Gary Ablett, who finished 6th in the poling. Will Ablett resent it? Will Bartel let it go to his head? Will they worry about that all later and go out and kick ass? We'll see. If you have Directv then sign up for Chanel 615 and watch on Friday night at Midnight.

Stiff of the Week: Milton Bradley

Chutes, ladders and douchebags. In 1999 Inky and I worked for the Bowie Baysox of the AA Eastern League, and a friend of our worked for another team in the League: The Harrisburg Senators. Milton Bradley was on that team, and ultimately destined to be called up to the bigs, because he can hit the ball, not because he's a nice guy.

He is the embodiment of the term Hot Head. He argues with just about everyone and that year in the Eastern League was no difference. Coming off a winter season where he was suspended for the remainder of the season for an altercation with an Ump, MB came to the EL and was and ASS. He got in trouble that year, and then had some bumps in the bigs. He keeps getting traded and you have to believe that is because he's bad news. Last night he injured himself while arguing with the Ump. Let me say that again, and clarify. Last night he was so incensed by the call of Umpire Mike Winters that he had to be restrained by members of the coaching staff, which lead to the manager of the contending Padres throwing him to the ground and injuring his knee. Wow!

In defense of the Burgundy and GOLD

Maybe it's because XL hates the fact that his team is one of the few in the league that doesn't wear man's colors, or maybe it's because he has never seen baby shit. XL Johnson bashed the Redskins throwback uniforms, which were the best thing about the Redskins game yesterday, unless your a Giants fan, which for XL is impossible since he's never liked anything that came out of New York.

Going back to the early 70's era Helmet and pants, brought to our nations capital by Vince Lombardi, was a stroke of genius by Redskins officials. Not giving your QB a play to remember in the event he winds up with First and Goal from the 1 yard line and 58 seconds to go... not so much. Maybe the fact that the Steelers wear Gold pants has blinded XL into hating any team with them. But, how would he explain the fact that he followed the Packers before 1996, and they wear the same color! I think it was just a blatant attack on my person by a guy who actually got to watch a win yesterday.

Besides XL is just jealous, because if the Ravens wanted to wear throwback uniforms from the 70's they would have to wear Browns Uniforms. We'll see what the front office people in Baltimore come up with for the Raven's 75th Anniversary... in 2071.

Throw Back the Throwbacks....

This Sunday in the NFL the Redskins and the Eagles both wore 75th anniversary throw back uniforms. I have never seen more hideous unis since the 1970's Pirates and Astros uniforms. I ask you, if the uniforms were that ugly in that time period why the hell would you want to remember them? Granted the Eagles must've had crack in their's because they put up an ungodly 56 points after doing almost nothing the first two weeks. I'll let you be the judge, both uniforms are pictured in this post, you decide if you would want to remember the baby shit yellow era of the Redskins or the I don't know what the fuck era of the Eagles...