Sure the Redskins got their buttholes pushed in on national TV last night. And, sure, my once vaunted fantasy team lost solely because Santana Moss and Sean Suisham couldn't get me 12 lousy points between them. But there were reasons for me to be happy last night. One is ridiculous and the other says all sorts of things about me that I'd rather not delve too far into.
The first, of course, is the fact that 94 percent of the Presidential races contested since 1936 have been predicted by the Redskins. If they win, the party in power keeps power, and if they lose, the other party sweeps into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The only time this didn't hold true was in 2004 when the Skins did their part in losing to the Packers, but John Kerry got fucked over by Swiftboat and Bin Laden. How's that working out for you folks?
So not only should their loss herald a win for the D's tonight, which would make me happy, but they also made great strides in the world of sports fashion. Enjoying this, of course, makes me tremendously gay, but I'm OK with it. I've been waiting for years for the Skins to wear their burgundy pants with their burgundy jerseys. I'll pause for a moment for you to call me a pansy.
All done? Great. For most of my life Washington was one of the only teams in the league to always wear their whites at home (along with Dallas, those fuckers). This meant that we hardly ever saw them in their red tops, save for trips to Dallas and St. Louis/Arizona. A few years back they started to wear all white at home from time to time, and I've been waiting for the day they took the field in all burgundy.
And that's what I'm holding onto from last nights game. Which says even more about me than I'd like. Now we just need to get the gold helmet and numbers back and I'll be in heaven.
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