Sunday, December 21, 2008

"America's Team" Meets Organized Chaos



The Saturday night football game between the Baltimore Ravens and the Dallas Cowboys has to be one of the most entertaining games I've ever watched as a football fan. That being said, if the outcome had been different I may not feel the same way. All the hype about this game was that it was the last game in Texas Stadium. All the networks focused on the homecoming for stars like Emmit Smith and Tony Dorsett and how the Cowboys would easily get back on track and win this game easily because of the emotion of closing out this fabled stadium. It was even rumored that the Cowboys had requested the Ravens for this game as they expected to be able to have an easy victory when the schedule came out last season.

Obviously the "boys" got more than they bargained for in a Baltimore team whose will to win a game overcame the "emotion" of closing down a building. The game was a must win for both teams in terms of the playoffs. If the Ravens lost they no longer controlled their destiny and the Cowboys needed to win to stay in good position in the NFC picture. It looked for awhile like the Ravens would only be able to kick field goals and that they could not stop the Dallas pass rush. The Cowboys got 5 sacks in the fist half but then none in the second. Tony Romo also got impatient in the passing game leading to a critical interception at the end of the first half. This pick allowed the Ravens to kick a last second field goal and go up by two instead of trailing by one at the half. The Ravens also relied on trickery by pulling off a fake field goal to lead to their first touch down. In the end though it came down to smash mouth football taking over and consecutive runs of 77 and 82 yards by Willis McGahee and Leron McClain sealed the Cowboys fate.

It left a sell out crowd and a bunch of retired stars turned broadcasters or whatever scratching their heads. More importantly it left the Ravens in control of their destiny in the AFC and got them some more national attention as a quality team in the NFL. Now they only have to finish off Jacksonville at home next Sunday to take the 6th seed in the AFC playoffs and likely face either the Patriots or the Dolphins on the road in the first round of the playoffs. I'm hoping for Miami being as we've already beaten them this year however I believe the Ravens can play with anyone in the league.

The last time they won the Super Bowl was in Tampa in 2001....well it just so happens that the Super Bowl is in Tampa again this year and well the Giants could be there again. Bring it on, in 2000 the Ravens had to go on the road and win in January and I believe they have the ability to do it again this year if they can keep from making dumb mistakes.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Dirk Johnson Hates Australia


After being replaced by the Eagles in 2007 by former North Melbourne Kangaroos star Sav Rocca, Dirk Johnson was replaced today as punter for the Arizona Cardinals by former Geelong Cats captain Ben Graham. This is just the latest blow suffered by Johnson, who has experienced an unprecedented run of Australian-related bad luck.

Dirk Johnson lost his live-in girlfriend several years ago to an Aussie who worked in her office. After the break-up, Johnson's dog, an Australian Sheppard, bit him on the leg while Johnson was attempting to take him to the vet for his yearly check up.

On a vacation to Hawaii, Dirk Johnson's luggage was lost, and was missing for three days. It was found after an extensive search, having been misdirected to Sydney, Australia. For the final straw, adding insult to injury, Johnson recently suffered a severe case of food poisoning after a meal at a local Outback Steakhouse.

Johnson now looks to recover and sign with another NFL team, one which hopefully has never heard of Australia.

*Only the first sentence of this story is actually true. The rest is satire.*
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