"America's Team" Meets Organized Chaos

The Saturday night football game between the Baltimore Ravens and the Dallas Cowboys has to be one of the most entertaining games I've ever watched as a football fan. That being said, if the outcome had been different I may not feel the same way. All the hype about this game was that it was the last game in Texas Stadium. All the networks focused on the homecoming for stars like Emmit Smith and Tony Dorsett and how the Cowboys would easily get back on track and win this game easily because of the emotion of closing out this fabled stadium. It was even rumored that the Cowboys had requested the Ravens for this game as they expected to be able to have an easy victory when the schedule came out last season.

Obviously the "boys" got more than they bargained for in a Baltimore team whose will to win a game overcame the "emotion" of closing down a building. The game was a must win for both teams in terms of the playoffs. If the Ravens lost they no longer controlled their destiny and the Cowboys needed to win to stay in good position in the NFC picture. It looked for awhile like the Ravens would only be able to kick field goals and that they could not stop the Dallas pass rush. The Cowboys got 5 sacks in the fist half but then none in the second. Tony Romo also got impatient in the passing game leading to a critical interception at the end of the first half. This pick allowed the Ravens to kick a last second field goal and go up by two instead of trailing by one at the half. The Ravens also relied on trickery by pulling off a fake field goal to lead to their first touch down. In the end though it came down to smash mouth football taking over and consecutive runs of 77 and 82 yards by Willis McGahee and Leron McClain sealed the Cowboys fate.

It left a sell out crowd and a bunch of retired stars turned broadcasters or whatever scratching their heads. More importantly it left the Ravens in control of their destiny in the AFC and got them some more national attention as a quality team in the NFL. Now they only have to finish off Jacksonville at home next Sunday to take the 6th seed in the AFC playoffs and likely face either the Patriots or the Dolphins on the road in the first round of the playoffs. I'm hoping for Miami being as we've already beaten them this year however I believe the Ravens can play with anyone in the league.

The last time they won the Super Bowl was in Tampa in 2001....well it just so happens that the Super Bowl is in Tampa again this year and well the Giants could be there again. Bring it on, in 2000 the Ravens had to go on the road and win in January and I believe they have the ability to do it again this year if they can keep from making dumb mistakes.

Dirk Johnson Hates Australia

After being replaced by the Eagles in 2007 by former North Melbourne Kangaroos star Sav Rocca, Dirk Johnson was replaced today as punter for the Arizona Cardinals by former Geelong Cats captain Ben Graham. This is just the latest blow suffered by Johnson, who has experienced an unprecedented run of Australian-related bad luck.

Dirk Johnson lost his live-in girlfriend several years ago to an Aussie who worked in her office. After the break-up, Johnson's dog, an Australian Sheppard, bit him on the leg while Johnson was attempting to take him to the vet for his yearly check up.

On a vacation to Hawaii, Dirk Johnson's luggage was lost, and was missing for three days. It was found after an extensive search, having been misdirected to Sydney, Australia. For the final straw, adding insult to injury, Johnson recently suffered a severe case of food poisoning after a meal at a local Outback Steakhouse.

Johnson now looks to recover and sign with another NFL team, one which hopefully has never heard of Australia.

*Only the first sentence of this story is actually true. The rest is satire.*

_

Redskins over Seahawks

There were times this afternoon at Quest Feild when I thought I wouldn't end up being very happy with the outcome. In the end Clinton Portis put the team on his back and carried the Skins to a 3 point win over a 2-8 team. Yay!

Any win for an east coast team on the west coast is big, and any win for a visiting team in Quest is bit. That's because those folks are loud, really loud. I don't know if it has anything to do with how the stadium was designed, but it is loud as fuck in there. It could be that the football loving fans of the State of Washington have saved up all their cheering, since they haven't needed to do much of it for the Cougars and the Huskies, but who knows.

What I did think was kind of lame about Quest is their narking policy. They have a 888 number and a texting address sent up where you can turn in your fellow fan if they don't keep it PG rated during the game:

If anyone was wondering what really lead the Skins to the win, it wasn't their need to keep pace with the Cowgirls, or their desire to end their two game losing streak. No, it was their desire to see the very attractive ends of the Girls at Little Darlings, at 7th and Westlake. How do I know that? Because I've taken the time to do a little investigative journalism and I heard it from the horses mouth... I typed horse, right? At any rate, the the girls were all abuzz about how 13 or 14 of the Skins were in on Saturday night to see some... skin.

All in all, I'd give the game experience here in Seattle an A. It's a good stadium, with very good sight lines, and it is filled to the brim with a ton of loud but friendly fans. If you ever get the chance, you should come see your team play here.

Stiff of the Millennium

I think the NFL should suspend Donovan McNabb for life. Sure dog fighting is bad, and drug use and spousal abuse are deplorable, but there can be absolutely no excuse for an NFL player not knowing that there are ties in the league. Even if he had somehow not known about it growing up (which presumes that he watched football as a kid) he was in the league the last time there was a tie.

Hell, even if all that escaped him, the ref says it over the PA before the beginning of every OT during the coin toss, and I'm sure he's been a captain at least once in his life. Stiff of all human existence doesn't cover how stupid Donovan McNabb is.

Road Grey's

When you've endured 11 straight losing seasons, and watched the team that used to keep you out of the basement make it to the World Series, you'll take anything as a positive. And so it was that Orioles fans all over got excited about a new addition to the team yesterday. No, it wasn't a new player who will be pulling on the O's uniform for the first time at a press conference. It was a press conference for a new O's uniform.

Such is the state of our team, that we all get excited about a change to the uniform, but that's where we find ourselves. The team management finally listened to the fan base and put the city name back on the road jersey, something about half the teams in the league do, but which was once a given in the league. The "Baltimore" on the Grey's was dropped in 1973 and for the last 35 years the Birds has played with the team name on their chests in other cities.

That ends in 2009, and not a moment too soon. I need something to get excited about going forward, and unless those unis came with a new starting SS, 1B and a few live arms, I'll be reduced to cheering for the laundry, albeit, nice new laundry.

Seperated At Birth 11

Watching a little bit of the Packers/Vikings game today I started to realize that Packers coach Mike McCarthy looked familiar. It took me a few minutes but then it hit me, he looks like that fat ass comedian Kevin James. I think this is ironic because James is a comedian and to me McCarthy is a joke as a head coach.

Take the Good With the Bad

Sure the Redskins got their buttholes pushed in on national TV last night. And, sure, my once vaunted fantasy team lost solely because Santana Moss and Sean Suisham couldn't get me 12 lousy points between them. But there were reasons for me to be happy last night. One is ridiculous and the other says all sorts of things about me that I'd rather not delve too far into.

The first, of course, is the fact that 94 percent of the Presidential races contested since 1936 have been predicted by the Redskins. If they win, the party in power keeps power, and if they lose, the other party sweeps into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The only time this didn't hold true was in 2004 when the Skins did their part in losing to the Packers, but John Kerry got fucked over by Swiftboat and Bin Laden. How's that working out for you folks?

So not only should their loss herald a win for the D's tonight, which would make me happy, but they also made great strides in the world of sports fashion. Enjoying this, of course, makes me tremendously gay, but I'm OK with it. I've been waiting for years for the Skins to wear their burgundy pants with their burgundy jerseys. I'll pause for a moment for you to call me a pansy.

All done? Great. For most of my life Washington was one of the only teams in the league to always wear their whites at home (along with Dallas, those fuckers). This meant that we hardly ever saw them in their red tops, save for trips to Dallas and St. Louis/Arizona. A few years back they started to wear all white at home from time to time, and I've been waiting for the day they took the field in all burgundy.

And that's what I'm holding onto from last nights game. Which says even more about me than I'd like. Now we just need to get the gold helmet and numbers back and I'll be in heaven.

Neutral Site World Series???

With the World Series coming to an end on the Phillies improbable season the biggest question other than how much damage can dumb ass Philly fans cause is should the world series be held in a neutral climate controlled site? You go 100 or so years without a rain shortened game or stoppage of play and all of a sudden this is the hot topic. The amazing thing is that a lot of the writers appear to be on board with this idea. I heard Buster Onley on Mike & Mike this morning going on about the revenue that could be brought in by having the World Series in one stadium for 7 consecutive days. He went on to describe how all the awards like Cy Young and Gold Gloves could be announced and Hall of Famers could converge and we could just have a week long baseball orgy in this neutral site. Sounds good right???

WRONG, it's bad enough that football has pansied out and only plays the Super Bowl in climate controlled environments. Pretty much the only people that get to go to this game are rich people and celebrities or chumps willing to come off nearly a grand for a seat in the nose bleed section. Baseball is to me still a pure sport where the fans make up a lot of the identity for the team. Not to diminish what fans do in other sports but it just seems wrong for the World Series to be played on a neutral turf. Can you imagine the Red Sox and Cubs playing a World Series in Anaheim or The Orioles and Cardinals playing in Houston? Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl. I'm tired of marketing and money dictating how we as fans get to enjoy our sports. It's bad enough that the games don't start until 8:30 and are played on work/school nights. I know that Bud Selig vehemently opposes this idea and for probably the first time I support him. I just hope that when he steps down that MLB doesn't get a commissioner like the NFL just did that is more interested in playing games in Europe and expanding the league than fixing other issues like the shitty pre-season. It's ideas like this that turn people away from sports but unfortunately tend to make millions for people who already have millions.

Philly Phans Know How to Celebrate

This is all over the sports blog world, but since Inky, XL and I had so much to say about game 5 yesterday, I couldn't help posting it on our little corner of the blogosphere. This is one of those pure moments where visuals meet audio to make for a full and complete experience. Just seeing this fuckwit get hit in the head with a Grey Goose bottle would be ok, but hearing it makes for a once in a life time experience. I've watched this video about 20 times already, and it never gets old.

I Have Exorcised the Demons, Part 2

Well, despite my esteemed colleague's Lead Pipe Lock prediction earlier in the evening, the Phillies have won the World Series. That's right, Philadelphia. The curse has been lifted; it can be done. Now we have no more excuses for not winning championships. We can do it, we can all do it.

So, sorry XL and Greazy who are Philly haters from way back. Not that I am really a fan of the Phillies, but my hometown deserves this. Just as much or as little as any other team deserves to win.

And, a little note to baseball fans complaining about how nobody was watching this series. It is your fault. How could you not watch this? A worst to first team and a team full of MVPs. Is it really just because they are not wearing pinstripes? Then shame on you. You are not a true fan if you only want to see the highest payrolls buy their way into championships. That is not baseball, and that is not what sports is supposed to be about. So, fuck off. Don't make me get out my batteries and hurl them at you. BOOOOO BOOOOO!!!

Take that bitches.

Stud of the Week: Barack Obama

For anyone who actually pays attention, you know that Barack Obama gave a huge assist to sports fans tonight. Despite repeated, and false, assertions by John McCain that Obama was pushing back the start time of tonight's baseball game, nothing could be further from the truth. All Obama did, was make sure that anyone tuning into the game tonight gets to see baseball pretty much right off the top. They don't have to sit through all the B.S. Fox pregame, and in the end, isn't that a good thing? See, he's helping average Americans already.

The Phils Will Win....But Not Tonight

This will be short and to the point because I want to get it posted before the game ends tonight. It is currently 3-3 heading to the bottom of the 7th inning. It is my belief that Philadelphia will lose this game and Brad Lidge will be the responsible party. Greazy and I have talked about this already and I just can't believe that Lidge will hold up to the pressure. You know he still has nightmares of St. Louis and he has been perfect thus far. So unless Tampa's bull pen turns into the Orioles bull pen (which it could if Chad Bradford is brought in) this is my prediction for the evening. As much as it pains me to think that the city of Philadelphia will win a championship I have resigned myself to the likelihood of it happening.

I'll Say it: Greg Oden Has Huge Tits*

* By which I mean he is a huge bust
Just 3 minutes into his NBA career (a career which is already off to a 1 year delay) Portland center Greg Oden sprained his foot last night. Anyone who saw Oden play at Ohio State knows that is an amazing physical presence, and yet, he seems to lack the ability to stay physically healthy.

Maybe we should consider that he is not 21 years old as he says he is, but 44 years old as his looks say he is. Have you ever seen him with glasses on? He looks older than Morgan Freeman, and that motherfucker is old as shit. I think we need to cut Oden open and count his rings. God knows Portland won't be in danger of winning any rings if he keeps getting hurt every third day. I think it's safe to say, that with 1% of the precincts reporting: Greg Oden is a huge bust.

I Have Exorcised the Demons!

Ha ha, St. Louis. I told you not to do it, but you didn't listen. And, now you're the ones with the bad luck. Sarah Palin has now infected your club. Not only did you get shut out by the Kings, Manny Legace tripped over that carpet they set out for her to walk on. If she is such a damn good hockey mom, then how come she can't walk on the ice?

How do I know that the curse is broken? The same day Sarah Palin dropped the puck in St. Louis, the Flyers won their game against the Devil 6-3. It still may be too early to tell if the curse is totally gone, but I am cautiously optimistic.

Take that St. Louis. Truth be told, I really don't have anything against you, so hopefully your curse will be short lived.

Just for the record, however. . . .told you so.

Breaking The Spell

Sarah Palin is planning to infect another franchise with her bad mojo soon. St. Louis is apparently letting her drop the puck before their game. DON'T DO IT!!! I'm serious, don't do it.

The Flyers are 0-3-3. They have yet to win a game; the last team in the league without a win. They scored 6 goals the other night and still couldn't get it to work. It is all her fault. Don't believe the hype about the coach or the lack of serious goal tending. It is her fault.

So, take my advice, Blues. Turn her away. It is your only hope.

This election has to come quickly, or the Flyers may never win.

Quote Of The Day

I was reading the sports page of the Baltimore Sun this evening when I came across this outstanding quote from Ravens Defensive End Terrell Suggs. This quote was in reference to the Ravens D possibly having a bounty on Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward. Suggs is quoted as saying "If there is a guy loose pulling people's drawers down in the neighborhood, you're going to be alert for him."

You've got to love the originality of a quote like that, only a guy that looks like Bubba Gump could come up with something that inspiring. Suggs also says in this same interview that Troy Smith should start over Joe Flacco and then says he has been misquoted and that he really thinks the Ravens should run multiple packages to get both guys in. I for one would like for T-Sizzle to stick to hitting the QB (preferably while he still has the ball) and stop talking to the media as he obviously is an idiot.

Look Who's Back!!!

And you thought there wouldn't be a sports connection to this. Well it looks like Terry Tate is back, and he's got a whole web site full of content.

"You just subscribed to Terry's Journal of Pain. And the first issue's free baby! Woo!" Love it.

Weekend Wrap Up

Ah, another week, another sports bonanza. Things are finally decided in baseball, and I for one couldn't be happier. And, another crazy week of football has left us all with fantasy regrets. Let's break it down, shall we?

Those Red Sox. They had to make it interesting. And, they tried. But, ultimately failed. It feels good to type that. After all, it seems so long ago that these lovable losers were finally breaking the "curse" in 2004. Now, Boston has had a veritable orgy of titles and has become that dreaded thing. A front runner. And, kind of an obnoxious one to boot. We're talking New York territory. So, hey, Champ. . .how about you sit out the next couple plays? Let one of these two new teams have a crack at it. 28 years is a long time to wait, Philly. Don't fuck this up.

Who would have thought that the Colts, Chargers, Cowboys and Patriots would be here? Woefully under performing, riddled with injuries, and looking rather ordinary. I'm sure there are people all over this country cursing those pre-season bets now. While the Colts and Chargers could rally, I'm pretty sure it's over in Big D. And, it gives this writer so much joy to say that. Serves them right. And, once again they are a 1 Roy Williams town.

When football is bad, it is real bad. Greazy and I watched the end of the Raiders/Jets game. If you want to call what those teams were doing "playing." It was more like fucking around. It was painful watching two NFL teams unable to get into reasonable field goal range during OT. I mean, come on. Most teams take less than 5 minutes to do that. It is sad to see how many teams just flat out can't compete anymore. Cincinnati is a joke. The Lions are pitiful and the Chiefs and Raiders are just plain shitty.

Go Bills! And, Tennessee. And, the Redskins. How about all those unlikely heroes. It is nice to see some different teams compete, at least for now. Also, as much as it pains me to say, I think the Steelers are the most underrated 5-1 team right now.

The Flyers are 0-5 with two points from two overtime losses. When are they going to listen to me? They are cursed. No, all you read is about firing the coach. That won't solve anything. Sarah Palin is to blame. I swear it. Now we can be like all those Cubs fans who can blame all their failures on outside sources. Nice to have a fall back plan.

How much do I love watching Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick do the NFL highlights on NBC. Just like old times.

Stiff of the Week: Trevor Wikre

I don't think this is the type of message we want to be sending to the kids of our nation. I'm sure you've heard the story of Trevor Wikre, a lineman at DII Mesa State, who decided to have the pinkie finger on his right hand cut off, rather than miss the rest of his Senior season at the school that A) apparently exists, and B) also has a football team.

I'm all for Trevor chasing his dreams, but unless he's Randy Moss, Steve McNair or Jerry Rice I don't think he had much of a chance of playing professional ball in the NFL. So, after he's done playing those last few games of his college career, he'll be left with a 9 fingered existence, but sadly, he'll never again be able to do a good Dr. Evil impression. Tragic.

There's no doubting that this guy is a total douche, worthy of Stiff of the Week honors, but I'd also like to include his coach, parents and doctors in this award. Good job helping this kid work through his feelings of loss for his career by pointing out that there's more to life than DII pigskin. Top notch!

p.s. I think this kid also dramatically underestimated the importance of the pinkie in the administration of a shocker. Good luck getting one in the stink now Trevor... you dumb fuckwit.

I Need An Old Priest and A Young Priest

I don't want to say "I told you so" to the Flyers, but sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade. You let that woman into our building. You let her drop the puck for our home opener. You let her wave and smile and do that stupid shit she does all over our ice. Now, we are cursed. I hope you are happy.

Sarah Palin has put a curse on the Flyers and now we have to get rid of it. Three straight losses are enough for me to know that something is wrong. They have the exact same team as last year. As a matter of fact, they should be better because Simon Gagne is back in the lineup. But, are we better? Are we winning? Are we looking like a playoff team? The answer to all these questions is no. The difference. That woman put a hex on the whole damn thing.

So this is what we are going to need. A pit bull, some lipstick, the bones of a whole chicken and water blessed by a democrat. Then, someone needs to lock that woman in a room and smack her every hour on the hour until she promises to go back where the hell she came from.

Then, we'll burn some sage in the Wachovia Center, drink some beers and punch the guy next to us in the face. Then and only then will the curse be broken.

Damn you, John McCain. Damn you for doing this to us. A curse on both your houses. Wait, a curse on all 13 of your houses.

Oops, They Did it Again

Today is always one of my favorite days in sports. No, not Tuesday. But, the day after something happens that makes every sportswriter have to tear up a month's worth of columns. Let me explain. I'm sure you've seen this in the past few weeks.

Eli Manning is better than Peyton now. The Giants are quite literally the best team in the NFL, not just the NFC. Jon Lester is unbeatable at home. Josh Beckett has been the Sox best pitcher in the post season. The Dodgers have Manny mojo, and that is all they need.

Wait, what? You see all that stuff that people have been spewing is now considered null and void. Why you ask? Well, Beckett and Lester allowed 8 and 9 runs respectively against the Rays. Manny Ramirez may know how to fight and talk shit but so far that hasn't helped the Dodgers out of their 3-1 hole. And, poor Eli. I think he has suffered the most. He went from the next big thing to the dog house. Letting those Cleveland Browns run all over him and throwing 3 interceptions doesn't jive with the mantle they've handed him. Those poor sportswriters, they trusted him and Eli made a fool of them. So did John Lester. How dare they?

I just wish, again, that someone would let me get paid big bucks to be so wrong so often. These people, I mean, I know they're just doing what they are supposed to do. But, it all comes down to perspective. Eli is good, but better than Peyton? Too soon to tell, but that isn't a sexy headline. BoSox unstoppable, repeat inevitable (one more time)? Sounds better than Big Papi 0 for 34 in the series.

But, hey. Why bother with perspective when it is more fun to guess? Maybe every sports writer should spend some time in Philly. It will knock all the optimism and hyperbole right out of them. Then, maybe they could be a little less excited next time the Cowboys sign a felon and Kyle Orton has a few good weeks. But, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. Check back next week.

Weekend Wrap Up

As Greazy is off asking himself "Is this good for the company?" and XL is no doubt still crying in his lower calorie premium light beer, it is up to me to recap the weekend of sports that was. Men; what are you going to do?

Let's see. . .where to begin. The Rays made it a series, winning in the 11th inning against the New York, I'm sorry, The Boston Red Sox. Isn't funny how those two teams seems so similar now? Seriously, you'd think they didn't remember all those years of being whiny little bitches. And, the Phillies did what everyone thought they would do; lose behind Jamie Moyer. So, now the Dodgers think they can win. Good for them.

Now, football. As I mentioned before XL is crying because his Ravens got their butt holes pushed in by the Colts. Apparently, someone finally held up a mirror in front of Peyton Manning, so he could remember who the fuck he was. That bomb to Marvin was gorgeous. Sorry XL.

The Redskins got a little too penis-y and looked past the Rams, who won on a last minute field goal. But, before the Rams break their arms patting themselves on the back, they still suck.

Around the rest of the league: Tony Romo broke his little finger and will be out 4 weeks. Also, he was the beneficiary of the league's bullshit tuck rule. Somewhere, Al Davis is probably still dead. Did I also mention the blocked punt that resulted in the Cardinals winning OT touchdown? No? Well, it was great. Brett Favre is still magical, but Matt Cassel is not. Who knew?

Under the heading "Who the Fuck Cares": Texans beat Miami, Vikings beat Detroit, Packers beat Seattle. Oh, and Philly beat San Fran. Yawn.

Finally, Sarah Fucking Palin. She did get booed, a bit. But, come on, Philly. She kissed Scott Gomez and said she was going to root for New York because that bitch is from Anchorage. Enough Said.

So there you have it. All the news that is fit to print. Cheer up XL and Greazy. Remember one thing. The season is long, and your teams suck. Wait, that won't cheer you up. Never mind. I'll think of something else and get back to ya!!

Stiff of the Week: Ed Snider

Ed Snider, chairman of the Philadelphia Flyers has always irritated the hell out of me. An uber-republican, he has contributed to John McCain, let the Republican National Convention camp out in the Wachovia Center (need to change that name again, huh Ed?) and now has perpetrated the biggest crime of all. Embracing Sarah Palin. That's right. That lipstick wearing pit bull will be dropping the puck at the Flyers home opener on Saturday. In addition, she will be joined by the "Ultimate Hockey Mom" contest winner on the ice. Everyone who enters the contest gets a free----wait for it----lipstick. I'm all for holding onto your analogies, but this is ridiculous. The name of the color you ask? "Puck-er Peach."

You know Flyers, we were just starting to work out our problems. My loyalty to you has been tested more times than I care to remember, and we even had that year off from each other to clear our heads. But, I thought we were on the same page. Now you go and do something like this. I just don't know how you expect me to take you seriously anymore.

By the way, if you want to read about some real hockey moms; you know, the one's who have sons who actually play hockey, read this. And, this.

Flyers, it's not a good start, but keep going.

Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where's the Tylenol?

Donovan McNabb couldn't stop 'em. Brian Westbrook couldn't stop 'em. The Philly run defence couldn't stop 'em and even a few terrible calls on an Eagles punt return and a called back Randel El TD.

The Washington Redskins, my Washington Redskins, are 4-1 and 2-1 in the SEC of the NFL after playing all three division games on the road. The offence seemed as if it could run at will, and Jason Campbell brushed off an 0 for 5 start to lead his team in a confidant and capable fashion. The defence, minus three of it's best players in Jason Taylor, Marcus Washington and Shawn Springs, absolutely had their way with a much ballyhooed offensive unit.

I'm well aware how fortunes can change in this league, especially when you have New York, Philly and Dallas all left on the schedule, but I will say that I'm having a good time watching this team, and their GoBot coach.

Separated at Birth #10

After XL and I personally scouted the match up, I spent some time this evening watching the Tampa Bay Rays take the second game of the ALDS over the Chi Sox. What I really noticed in this game, however is how much Rays starter Scott Kazmir looks like Brit funnyman Simon Pegg. And for the better part of the first inning, Kazmir was pitching like a British comedy actor rather than an All Star. He got things right and made it into the 6th, before yielding to the big Aussie: Grant Balfour.

Baptism By Fire

So week four of the NFL is in the books. The upsets were a plenty as they were in the college ranks. Greazy was delighted to see the Skins beat the Cowboys in big D, The Chiefs got their first win in like a year, and the Bears took care of the Eagles at home. The other "upset" that didn't happen for me was the Ravens beating the Steelers. The Ravens had that game in hand with a 13-3 lead in the third quarter when a stupid penalty led to a touchdown. Then on the next play after the kick off Flacco got sandwiched between two big defenders fumbling the ball that was recovered and easily returned for a TD. So two touchdowns in 15 seconds put the Steelers up by 4, they would go on to score another field goal. The Ravens made it interesting by tying the game but couldn't do anything on offense after that.

All in all it was a great game even though the Ravens lost in OT. To many stupid penalties on the Ravens front cost them a lot of field position and possibly points. Even though he's a rookie, Joe Flacco held up well against the number 2 defense in the NFL. He had the one crucial error but at the same time it's not like he had good protection on that play. He made good throws although with a little more zip some of the deeper plays could've been completed. For a first road game in one of the hardest road stadiums to play it was a solid performance. Next week we get the undefeated Titans who I also hate. Too many years of Eddie George and Steve McNair although in the end we got the better of them. I also hate Jeff Fisher because he looks more like a Nascar driver then a NFL head coach. It's only one loss early on but it's frustrating because I had little expectation of this team in week 1. Now they've gone and played really well for three weeks and I expect them to win them all.

Ups and Downs of the Football Weekend

This was quite a weekend in the world of football of all codes and levels. It kicked off (pardon the pun) on Thursday night when the number one team in the NCAA, USC, lost once again to Oregon State. It was just the harbinger of bad things to come for top 10 teams, as Georgia, Florida and Wisconsin all followed Southern Cal's lead on Saturday. The two College teams I follow both notched big conference wins this weekend as Penn State jumped to #6 nationally with a 38-34 win over #22 Illinois and Maryland won their second game over a ranked opponent by taking down #20 Clemson 20-17.

This weekend also happened to be the Championship Game of the Australian Rules Football League, and the game also produced a number one team losing. The previous once beeten Cats lost to the Hawthon Hawks as Inky, XL and I watched surrounded by Aussie Meat Pies, Aussie Beer and candy.

Sunday two other seemingly untouchable teams lost, one made me sad and one basicly turned me into a 6 foot tall erection. After three nearly untouchable weeks my fantasy football team lost by 45 points after most of my players failed to find the endzone. But, I couldn't care less about that, since the Washington Redskins went in to Big D and took TO out of the game en route to a huge win over the Cowboys!

In the end, it was all worth it.

Stiff of the Week: This Guy

Ladies and gentlemen meet Sean Kenney, who has taken nearly three years to build a lego replica of Yankee Stadium. Now, far be if from me to call this guy stiff of the week because he spent the last three years in a small room with a child putting 45,000 legos together into a 5 foot by 5 foot by 1 foot model. That speaks for it's self.

What I really object to is the fact that this thing was outdated the second he finished it. Now he has to get some more candy, put on his trench coat and drive around in his van all over again if he wants to lure another kid to "help him" when he builds New Yankee Stadium. Putz!

We Are Geelong, But We're in York

XL is making his way up to the Keystone state this weekend to watch the AFL Grand Final with Inky and I. Last year we watched it at his place, and he enjoyed the game enough that he's ready for some more.

So late tomorrow night we'll make our Aussie Meat pies, have some beers and hold our breath as the Cats do battle with the Hawthorn Hawks. Inky and I have seen Hawthorn play live, and we know what they are capable of. Oddly enough, we saw Hawthorn win, while we saw Geelong lose in person, so that only adds to the uneasy feeling we have.

The blog has been very quiet this week since the Orioles suck huge cock, and it's too early in the NFL season for XL and I to be talking too much about the Skins and Ravens. Add to that the fact that Inky and I have been following the AFL very intently this week and most sports at home have been less than important. We'll be back to full form next week though.

An Ugly Win is Still a Win

Inky and I got out of bed before the sun rose this morning, which is no normal occurrence, I assure you. I like to get every last wink before heading off to work, and Inky isn't exactly the early to bed type. What roused us from our glorious slumber? Sports of course.

The biggest downfall to liking an international sport is they have a tendency to take place at odd times here. And so it was that our Geelong Cats played a game at 5:30 this morning against the Western Bulldogs, which for them was a night game. We wiped the sleep from our eyes and settled in to watch the game, footys in hand.

The way the Cats usually win is, well, devastating. They take the ball away from their foe in defence and move it across the field with unbelievable skill, speed and efficiency. They kick, mark, handball and run better then just about any other players they come up against, and normally it's all over by the half. Sure, they've been tested a few times this year, but only one side has been able to beat them, once again in a game that Inky and I were at. The only game we've ever been able to see Geelong play live, but I digress.

This game wasn't really like that, or, at least it wasn't like that to Inky and I. Even though the Cats win was pretty well a certainty from midway through the second quarter on, it was never a complete certainty like we're used to. The final score was 12.11(83) to 7.12(54) which is good for a 29 point win, but it was the way they won that had us nervous. They looked like a regular old team, not the 23-1 giant that is the shortest ever odds to win it all.

I know that in the end, all that matters is the win, but I rather enjoy the amazing heights that the Cats can play at. In the first round of the playoffs they nearly doubled up their opponent, and that was with them taking their foot off the gas with about 15 minutes to go. In the end they are both wins, but we are left to feel much more vulnerable in the face of Hawthorn/St. Kilda in a weeks time. And that is a feeling I don't much care for. See, I'm stuck with the Orioles and Redskins as the only other teams that I really care about in the world, and they aren't going to be giving me a whole lot to cheer about in the next few years, so this is it for me. Right now.

That said, I was a bit nervous this time last year after the Cats eeked out a 5 point win over Collingwood in the Preliminary Final, and it all worked out for the best then. So maybe I'll try to stay positive. Maybe.

Stiff Of The Week: The NFL

I am going to preface this post for anyone other than Inky or Greazy that may read this. First let me say that I understand what a disaster it was that hit Texas this past weekend. I realize that thousands are homeless and millions without power. I realize that almost all of down town Houston is covered in glass from the sky scrapers and that it will be weeks before things resemble normal. All that being said the NFL seriously dropped the ball on the Texans, Ravens game that was to be held tonight.

Let's just review some of the terminology that was being used leading up to the storm making landfall on Friday. Words like "largest storm mass ever" and "certain death" were tossed around like "Good Morning" and "How are you". So what about this storm led NFL officials to believe that by postponing the game one day it would somehow go off without a hitch. The fucking roof got blown off the dome for Christ sake. Now both the Ravens and the Texans have lost their bye week which will surely affect both teams later this season.

What the NFL should've done is have both teams report to New Orleans or Atlanta for a worst case scenario game at a neutral site. The city of New Orleans could've benefited from an extra NFL game and the people of Houston should've been glad to give it to them. From a revenue perspective the NFL could've made it up to the Texans, it's not like this kind of thing has never happened. When Katrina hit the Saints played almost the entire season in other stadiums including having a "home game" in the Meadow Lands against the Giants. The Baltimore Sun reported that the reason the venue wasn't changed was because the Houston owner didn't want to lose the game. I'm sorry, if this is the only reason and there was not a chance of playing somewhere else the NFL should've had the fore site to reschedule the game when news of the storm's imminent path were revealed.

As a fan I should probably be happy to have the bye week done in week 2, now I have 15 straight weeks of Ravens football to watch for better or worse. But I know come November when we should've been off someone will be injured that could've used that week to rest and possibly cost us a win later. So for this reason among many many other problems I've had with the NFL in my life (letting our cities records be bastardized in Indy for starters) I deem the NFL my stiff of the week!

Hell Fuck Yeah!

After the Home Depot Presents Your Mom rolled XL's Chicken Heads 115-73 in week one, we stepped up our domination in week 2. Playing against the three time league Champions, owned by my cousin, I had a week for the ages. Lead by 4 TDs from Jay Cutler Your Mom racked up a 149 to 79 win, and moved to 2-0. Had I started Darren McFadden over Michael Turner I would have had 167 points, and I still would have had Aaron Rodgers' 33 points on the bench.

Many in the league questioned my intelligence, aptitude and integrity when I traded away all my best players for draft picks last year. But, after suffering though a 2-12 season, I've taken the league by storm this year, and even though I know pride goes before the fall, I'm fuckin' proud!

So, YCPFFL: How My Ass Taste!

*Also, a tip of the cap to the Bronco's for having the sack to go for two when they knew they were playing with house money. That win over Whales Vagina is one of the hallmark games of the year so far, and with all that offence, a fantasy football players dream!

If You Can Catch A Football You Can Write A Book

That title is a far cry from one of my favorite lines from Dodgeball "if you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball" good times. As I was browsing in my local Barnes and Noble's tonight I saw a New Arrival that caught my eye. The book is "More Than Just A Catch" by David Tyree with a foreword by Eli Manning. You've got to be fucking shitting me, all you have to do now days is catch a football in a Superbowl and you can get a book deal. Better yet the guy that threw it to you gets to write the foreword??? Nothing against Eli but I don't know what his qualifications are in the area of writing. He can throw the rock and stand in the pocket under pressure but can he keep people interested in reading a book? Plus what did he say? Something along the lines of "As I let the ball go I knew it was a shitty pass but then again Tyree was playing for his supper so I knew he'd find a way to come down with it" that would be literary genius.

I know I'm no William Shakespeare or Mark Twain but I'd love to think I could write a book more interesting than one by a guy who has only showed up for one game in his life. I mean up to this point all Tyree was known for was "sleeping with Katie to man....she's got big big titties" on the Surreal World hosted by Dave Chapelle. I think this marks at least the third book by a Giants player since winning the Super Bowl. It was a big win but lets not get carried away here. It's not like they solved world hunger or global warming by winning this thing so why are people buying these books? I guess this is one mystery I will not be able to solve but this is stiff of the week territory as far as I'm concerned. Being as I can't decide what is worse, writing a book about a catch or letting the guy who threw it write the foreword I will name both Tyree and Eli Manning as my stiffs of the week.

Another One Bites The Dust

After all the speculation and rhetoric yet another elite NFL player is having season ending surgery. Yes it's true the Chargers Shawn Merriman coming off a week one game where he played in like half a dozen plays has decided he can't play through the pain. While Greazy and I were on the road in Chicago and Milwaukee one of the biggest stories going on was the severity of Merriman's knee injury. The Chargers were saying that the injury was not that serious and they expected Merriman to play while Merriman kept saying it was career threatening and he didn't know what to do. In the end and after a pretty bad performance by the Chargers as a team on Sunday Shawn said fuck it.

It's hard to blame a guy like this for having surgery in a league where you can be a superstar one day and taken out like garbage the next. If you want an example see Daunte Culpepper. That guy had one of the best seasons by a quarterback ever, hurt his knee and then couldn't get a team to hire him to sell programs let alone lead the offense. I liked Merriman as a former Terp although he's kind of turned into a selfish pre-madonna in the NFL. He is constantly listed as not being a team player and goes against the teams wishes by driving out to LA one day a week to do his own radio show. The Chargers losing on a last second play to a Carolina team that wasn't supposed to do much this year probably didn't inspire Merriman to want to wish further injury anyway. So add another one to the week one casualty list that already includes one of the best quarterback's in the league.

What Happened to Playing Golf?

Why can't anyone just retire anymore? Brett Favre doesn't want to hang around Mississippi and fish, Chris Chelios doesn't want to sit around Canada and fish, and apparently Lance Armstrong doesn't want to bang celebrities and fish.

Surprise, surprise the Tour De France isn't exactly thrilled with the prospect of Lance's return. Despite the fact that most short-sighted sportscasters think it's brilliant, I agree with the Tour. We've had enough of Lance. As much as his commercials make me laugh, and I enjoyed his run at the Tour, it is time to let someone else have a turn. As someone who actually knows who other cyclists are, let me be the first to say, thanks but no thanks.

Doesn't McConaughey have a project you can get in on? Isn't there a marathon, triathlon or hog calling event you can go to? I mean, Lance, we love you, but move on. Seriously. Let someone else have a turn in the sandbox. And, I'm sure all this anti-doping stuff you want to do is totally awesome, but there are still going to be people who think you are guilty. Face it. If Greg LeMond is convinced, other people are going to be too.

So, call up Sheryl or Kate or Mary-Kate (Ashley? I can't remember which one) and see what they are up to. Hell, there has to be someone available to make a sex tape with you. And, Diddy is always looking to hang out with cool white guys. Lance, I think you're up.

Awwwwwww. . .Sick Burn

Did you hear that? It was the sound of millions of football fans reading about Tom Brady's season ending injury and laughing. I don't wish anyone harm, but this one is pretty sweet. (Okay, in the interest of full disclosure, I totally do!)

Somewhere Drew Bledsoe is laughing his ass off, Matt Cassel is throwing up and Bill Belichick is seeing if he can get his soul back from the devil. In terms of fantasy football's biggest monkey wrenches, this one just might beat the Bears beating the Colts.

Now Tom will have more time to sleep with his model girlfriend and father more illegitimate babies. Oh, right, and give the rest of the football world a chance to talk about something other than the Patriots.

Tommy, call Carson Palmer, he can tell you what to do. And, Schlack, take heart. The Flyers' season starts soon.

And the Winner is...

Greazy! The other day XL made mention of the epic clash that was taking place this weekend. And so it was that the team from the Eastern Shore met the team from Central Pennsylvania on the cybergridiron. It was XL's Delmarva Chicken Heads lead by Peyton Manning and Greazy's The Home Depot Presents Your Mom lead by a scrappy young lineup of burgeoning stars.

Some of the Chicken Heads best players didn't give XL their best this weekend, as Manning put up 16 points, Larry Johnson tallied 8 and Chad Ocho Cinco posted only two points. XL's team limped to an anemic 73 points which won't be enough to stand up to the 92+ Your Mom racked up.

Through some very crafty drafting last year, Greazy had Michael Turner as a keeper this year, and was rewarded with a 34 point haul in week one. Reggie Bush got the call at RB2 ahead of youngsters Kevin Smith (13 points) and Darren McFadden (yet to play) and Bush was equal to his coach's expectations with a 22 point night. Dallas Clark's injury lead to a big fat 0, and the choice of the Arizona D wasn't the best as they only posted a 13 point night. Also Santana Moss and Larry Fitzgerald each only had 9 points with Brandon Marshall and Kevin Curtis both out, but with the running backs bringing the big lumber it wasn't a liability. Now it is just incumbent on young QB Jay Cutler to have a 20 point night to make Your Mom the number one team in the points race at 112 points from the weekend.

This was the 10th installment of the grudge match between XL and Greazy, and with Home Depot's win the series is all tied at 5-5. Greazy is the proud owner of a championship Pipe, while XL is a perennial playoff contender. They are both also very large men.

Reigning Cats, Not Dogs

While this may be the first Sunday of the NFL season, it is also the first weekend of the Aussie Rules finals series. In the AFL each of the top 4 teams get two shots at the playoffs which pits the top four teams against each other in the first week. Those who win get a bye into the semifinals while those who lose return the next week to play the winners of the game in the lower four. Click on the above link to see the bracket, trust me, it's awesome.

In the first game of the weekend, the number two seed Hawthorn Hawks toppled the third place Western Bulldogs 18.19(127) to 11.10(76) behind 8 goals from their leader Buddy Franklin. The win showed that their is a huge gap between the Hawks at number 2, and all the teams below them. Whomever the Hawks get in two weeks, they are in trouble.

The first of two games on Saturday pitted #5 seed Adelaide Crows against the #8 Collingwood Magpies who ended up at the bottom of the playoff ladder after a late season swoon. This game was played in Adelaide, but for all but one quarter it was all on Collingwood's terms. They pulled away in the second half to a 19.11(125) to 14.10(94).

The second Saturday game was at the former Olympic stadium in Sydney as the hometown #6 Swans (about two feel tall, white with a black and orange bill...a swan) took on 7th seeded North Melbourne Kangaroos. The Roos were giant killers during the season, regularly taking out top of the ladder teams, but they slacked off during the end of the season. The Swans are two years removed from playing in two consecutive Grand Finals, winning one. The game was played in the rain, and in the end Sydney pulled away from the Roos 17.8(110) to 11.9(75). The season is done for North, while Sydney will have another challenge when they take on the Bulldogs.

After watching the three above games on the TIVO, I stayed up very late to watch the fourth game live. It started after midnight here in Pennsylvania, and didn't end until after 3AM but it was well worth it. The reigning champion Geelong Cats took on the surprise #4 seeded St. Kilda Saints. The Cats overcame some erratic kicking early to bash the boys from the beach 17.17(119) to 8.13(61). All of the Cats fantastic skill was on display from the Defense right through the midfield and up to the forwards. The Cats earn the week off to lick their wounds (not always wise with that sandpaper tongue) while St. Kilda has a short turn around for next weeks game against Collingwood.

This Day In Baseball History

It is September, the pennant race is starting to heat up and as an O's fan I am left with just my memories of a better time. This day in Orioles history 1995 Cal Ripken Jr. broke Lou Gehrig's consecutive game streak. A record that was allegedly impossible to break was broken this night and would go on to be shattered at 2632 consecutive games. This record has sparked many controversies in the sports world as well as among our friends that are haters.

Even after Cal was inducted 2 inductions ago in Cooperstown I have friends (dumb ass friends) that will argue the only reason he is in the Hall is because of 2131. That if he sat down a game or so in his career he'd just be another mediocre short stop with no legacy. All I can say is I'm glad I don't live in Westchester, PA because there must be something in the water. I realize that in the juiced up era that Ripken played in his numbers are not as impressive as they could've been had he juiced. The fact is the man was the face of a franchise for 2 decades, a rookie of the year, a 2 time MVP, and a key ingredient in the 83 World Series championship. Not to mention all the All Star appearances and I believe 2 MVP awards for that game as well. He redefined a position once played by non hitting little guys and paved the way for the likes of A Rod and Jeter even if I hate both of them.

I digress, today is about remembering the accomplishment that it took Cal nearly a career to achieve. It also allows me to remember back to a time when I actually enjoyed tuning into an O's game. Another great accomplishment on this day was Eddie Murray's 500th home run which came this day but in 1996. Greazy was present for that game as he constantly reminds me so I will leave that historic post for him. But I'm sure he'll agree with me in saying that it is sad that both of us have to go back in time 12 to 13 years to feel good about baseball. The 08 season is all over accept for the crying, another sub .500 season but with a small ray of hope for 09 to be better. So today we will toast Cal, I'm sure on Baseball Tonight he will get a mention, and that will probably be the only Orioles coverage on ESPN for the day.

American Athletes Suck!

It is official, and in my book a long time coming, but I'm here to announce that American athletes suck. Lest you stone me to death, let me explain. Sports is supposed to be fun, a good time, a distraction from the everyday. And, it kind of is. But, it is also something else here in the USA: BORING!!!

There is just no fun to be had anywhere anymore. You can't change your name to eight five in a foreign language without Roger Goodell's knickers twisting. You can't fight your teammate in the dugout without every sports writer from here to next week chastising you. You can't even steal someone's bags because you're pissed without the whole thing being blown out of proportion. Loosen up, America. Are any of these thing really a big deal. Remember T.O. with the Sharpie. Joe Horn with the cellie. Stupid? Yes. Funny? Abso-fucking-lutely. That is the point. Have some fun with it. For God's sake.

I know we are biased here at I&TSG, but take a page out of the Aussie play book. They have something called Mad Monday. It is the day after the regular season ends, and all the losers go out and get blitzed and have fun. Some people, however, take it too far, as evidenced by Brendan Fevola wearing a dildo and nightie in public. But, you know what happens to him? NOTHING!! This guy peed on a night club earlier in the year, and walked away with a minor punishment and a new three year deal. Sure, they want the AFL to ban the Mad Monday practice, but they won't. They'll wring their hands and then forget it. Maybe we should try that here. Instead of all leaping up to freak out about small crap, just let it slide. It is not nearly as big a deal as you think it is. It's sports, after all. Fuck the sponsors, let the guys have fun.

Oh, and while we are at it, can we put guys in little shorts? It's kind of my thing.

Ring of Fire

I'm having a hard time getting myself psyched for tonight's NFL kickoff game. Part of the reason is that I am in postseason form with my other Football team, and it's hard to get back in that 0-0 mindset. Luckily for me, it will be a 0-1 mindset by the time the game ends tonight, which will be early to accommodate John McCain's need to eat and sleep early. What do you want? He's 72.

McCain and the Skins have more than their advanced age in common. They both are trying to regain power in DC at any cost. They both made poor leadership picks, but no word yet on the pregnancy status of Jim Zorn's kids. Lastly, they both stand no chance in their contest's in New York.

The Skins will lose tonight's game by at least 10 points, and part of the reason is the ring. Even without their best defensive ends, the G-men will be totally fired up thanks to a little Superbowl residue hovering around the Meadowlands tonight. I know it looks like petrochemical residue, but a close look will tell the tale. Eli will be fired up, David "I had sex with Katie too man" Tyree will be fired up and the defense will just need to push the Skins young receivers around a bit and get to Jason Campbell a few times to tilt the scale.

Greazy says: Giants 28 Skins 17.

A Reciver By Any Other Name

I'm sure by now you all know that Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco. Some people think this is ridiculous, and others think it is funny, and in the end it doesn't matter what any of them think, because it's his name. What bothers me is all this talk about whether or not the NFL should allow him to go by the name, be announced by the name and wear the name on his back.

Of course they should! This isn't Rod Smart who donned HeHateMe on the back of his jersey in the XFL. This isn't Sean "Puffy, P.Diddy, Diddy, Puff Daddy" Combs either. This is a guy with a legal document that says what his name is and the NFL can't tell him any different. There have been other cases of guys who have changed their names, and the name on the back of their jersey changed right along with it. Think back to the late 90's when UCLA HB Sharmon Shah changed his name to Karim Abdul-Jabbar (not to be confused with UCLA C Lew Alcindor, who changed his name to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar). When the football Jabbar got to the NFL with his new name in tow, he wore it on his back until he lost a lawsuit that sounded like an Arab law firm: Abdul-Jabbar vs Abdul-Jabbar. At that point he became Abdul-Karim al-Jabbar, which the NFL also recognized.

All I know is: "His momma named him Clay, I'ma call him Clay."

The point is, if a judge was OK with Chad changing his name, then Roger has to be as well. We live in a nickname world anyway, with announcers often referring to players by their ridiculous monikers, be it ARod, IRod, KRod or GayRod. Why would you shy away from calling a guy by his legal name?

"Black Up" Quarterback

You may see the title of this post and thing wow XL, that seems pretty racist. I guess it is but it also brings attention to a growing trend in the NFL. It was announced yesterday that Joe Flacco will be the Ravens starter in week 1 relugating Troy Smith to black up. It seems that when you scour the league you find quite a few of these situations. For example in Pittsburgh you have Big Ben who was blacked up by Chalie Batch but then he went down in the first pre-season game and Byron Leftwich was signed to be black up. In Jacksonville you actually have a black QB but he is not without a black up in Cleo Lemon. I'm sure there are more, a historical black up QB was Doug Williams of the Redskins. He was black up until the starter went down and led the Skins to the promised land that year. As the season goes on we here at Inky and the Sports Guys will keep our eyes on this potentially controversial trend!

I'd like to add as a side note that both Greazy and I use black ups in our fantasy league. I have chosen Jamarcus Russel as my black up and Greazy has Jason Campbell as his. I can't speak for Inky, I'm not sure if she is gracing the fantasy grid iron with her presence this season....but if she does I expect a black up!!

Cat's Go Undefeated*

*In all games not seen in person by Greazy and Inky.

The Geelong Cats ran out to a 99 point win over the West Coast Eagles last night. The Eagles and Cats are the last two Champions of the Australian Football League, and it's easy to see in what direction each are going. With the 24.20(164) to 10.5(65) win the Cats improve their record to 21-1, but more on that later. The Eagles drop to 4-18 just two years after winning it all.

The 99 point margin of victory (the Cat's 4th such winning margin this year) means that Geelong once again finished with more points scored and less points allowed than any other team in the competition. Their 2672 points scored in the '08 season give them 238 more than Hawthorn, and an average points per game of 121. The 1651 points yielded by Geelong is 187 points less than Adelaide, and averages out to 75 points allowed per contest. All that adds up to an average margin of victory of 46 points for the "greatest team of all."

How nice for all the fans who got to see the other 21 games. You see, Inky and I were there for the "1" in 21-1. We've been following the Cats since our first trip to Geelong back in '05 and we took the time to be sure to be in Melbourne for this game on our most recent trip down under. Of all the games of footy I could see live, this rematch of one of the previous year's playoff games was the one I wanted.

So we went to the MCG and saw the Collingwood Magpies take the bark off Geelong 20.14(134) to 7.6(48). It was by far the most points scored against the Cats this year, and by far the least they themselves scored. In fact it was 73 point less than the average they normally score and 59 more than their opponents average against them. All in front of two American supporters, decked out in their Cats swag, who came ten thousand miles to see the game.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I've loved watching the Cats on Setanta and following them on various Aussie websites, but getting to hear the club song in person would have been nice. And, seeing the loss to Collingwood might not have been so bad, if they had lost another game, but they turned around and won the next 13 games they played sans Greazy and Inky, just as they had done in the 8 previous to our arrival. One thing's for sure, we won't be flying down to Oz for the finals, only to make them lose.

People of Wisconsin: Let it Go!

As you well know XL and I just got back from a trip to Chicago and Milwaukee, which was fantastic. We saw 7 different baseball teams play 4 games in three different stadiums, and along the way we saw some funny people too. While there are many great people in this area of the country, there are a few stiffs too, like this guy who just can't let it go. Brett isn't a Packer anymore people! Get over it. But they can't and that is sad.

In addition to the guy you see pictured here at Miller Park, we saw a few people walking around the Brookfield Mall in Favre Jets jerseys, and quite a few more in shop windows. I can't imagine how much it must suck to lose they guy you idolized for all these years, but I can tell you that if it happened to me, I wouldn't be following him to his new home, no matter who's idea it was.

If Cal Ripken had left Baltimore in 2002 to finish out his career with Tampa, Texas or some other team, you can be damn sure I wouldn't be buying his jersey with another team. Sure, I might have still followed him, like I did with Eddie Murrary, but going out and buying another teams jersey is ridiculous. You are a fan of your team, and sometimes that means that you become overly attached to some of the players, but that doesn't excuse this type of behavior.

We had a friend in college who loved Rickey Henderson, so much so, that he rooted for which ever team Rickey was playing on at the time. As pathetic and short sighted as this plan is, at least his allegiances never changed, because his only allegiance was to Rickey and he didn't stray until Rickey hung up his spikes.

The other main reason this guy is stiff of the week is because he is wearing his football jersey tucked into his jeans. There can be no other punishment for this than immediate and painful death. Not to mention the fact that he is wearing a football jersey to a baseball game. Douche.

Stiff Of The Week: Youth Baseball League of New Haven CT

This story is receiving lots of coverage so I'll keep it quick and opinionated. This 9 year old child has been ordered not to pitch by the Youth Baseball League of New Haven Connecticut. Is it because he was doctoring the ball? Perhaps he was wild and erratic and hit a lot of other kids.....or maybe he is just so good that none of the other kids can hit him. Yeah, that's the reason, the kid has talent and can throw the ball at 40 mph at age 9. He is so feared that an opposing team actually forfeited a game rather than send their players to the plate to face him.

I played Little League baseball as a child and as you would expect the talent is pretty spread out. You've got the kids who obviously have been practicing since they could hold a bat and glove and the ones who are either being forced to play or are just casually interested. There is always the one or two pitchers that you don't want to see because they throw hard or are erratic. But you still went up there and took your cuts. I can only imagine what my Dad would've said to me if I chose to not play in a game because I was afraid of another player.

What message does this teach the kids in this league anyway? If you are really good at something then you will be punished. Or does it teach that whining and being a little pussy will get you what you want in life. I can tell you from traveling the last 4 days that there are a lot of spoiled twenty something douche bags out there and you can see how they got that way. They were pandered to their whole childhood and when they didn't get their way the cried to Mommy until they got what they wanted.

The logical solution (other than just letting the kid pitch) would be to advance him to the next level although he could get shelled. Throwing 40mph against 9-11 year olds is one thing but at teenager would probably knock the cover off of it. Of course there are lawyers involved now and who knows how expensive this will end up being for everyone. More than likely the league will end up disbanding and now hundreds of kids won't get to play. Either way it's bull shit, if the kid meets the age requirement than he can play and play whatever position he wants. Otherwise there should be more specific criteria listed on the application. So Youth Baseball League of New Haven enjoy your time as Stiff of the Week on I&TSG blog!!

Miller Park: Algonquin for Baseball Heaven

Greazy and I spent last night at Miller Park, home of the Milwaukee Brewers. This was the last leg of our three days, three stadiums, four ball games tour of the mid west and it did not disappoint. This ball park has everything you could possibly want in a state of the art stadium. From an amazing kids section to great views from just about any vantage points you can't go wrong. There is also a Fridays in left field that serves as the left field seats. People reserve tables to eat while the game is being played. Needless to say it would be the most expensive (and longest) meal you would ever have at a TGI Fridays restaurant.

There also was a great variety of food including a stadium secret sauce for your brat which was outstanding. The "seats" we purchased were standing room only accept in this ball park there is no designated area for you to stand. You are free to roam around the field and loge level and there are areas for standing all along. The ushers are vigilant about you not sitting in the "investment of others" which would be a seat and with the way the Brewers are playing there are few empty seats to be had anyway. Regardless, Greazy and I found a great place to stand down the 1st base line that gave us great site lines. We also found a good place out in the center field bar area for some great pictures. In the end the Brewers won, the Italian sausage lost and Greazy and I have another great memory of a great new ball park. The one big negative for this stadium is there is absolutely no mass transit available to get to it. So if you're in town to see a game and didn't rent a car expect to pay nearly $50 for round trip cab fare as that seemed to be the going rate for us. Another bonus though is the Miller Brewing company tour is about a 20 minute walk from the ball park. Greazy and I did this and found it to be worth the time, especially if you're into seeing different breweries.

Miller Time!

After a day in the bleachers on the North Side and the Red Line double header the next day, XL and I took a bus north to Milwaukee to see our first game in a retractable doomed stadium. The only other indoor baseball either of us have ever seen was on a trip to Tampa with Inky and our college roommate back in 1998. This was a million times better to be sure, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

We started our day off on the Miller Brewery tour, which, while some Milwaukee residents is tantamount to climbing Everest, was quite easy. When XL and I told the concierge at our hotel that we wanted to do the Miller double she thought we were crazy. "I've never heard of anyone doing that" she said, but we found that Miller has direction cards all printed up for those who want to do the unimaginable. If you are going to Milwaukee to see the Brewers, stop by and see the brewery first, tell em Greazy sent Ys.

After our 15 minute walk to the Stadium we were struck by how tall Miller Park is. They had to make it tall to allow for the stackable roof, but the side effect is the high vaulted effect, accented by the huge wall windows beneath. Once inside, the view is that much better. The decks are short, and close to the field. All of the sight lines are excellent, and if you are there without tickets and the Brewers doing well, you may have to get standing room only like we did. If you do end up on your feet then you'll be really happy that you can see the whole park from all of those standing room areas.

The big plus to this stadium is the kids area, which you would think I wouldn't know, being as I'm a 32 year old man. But, XL and I had a good old time taking pictures with the sausage statues, the mock up ballplayers and in the giant mitt, where I played the ball. In addition to the great play area the Brewers provide an amazing array of shops, stores and eateries.

The in game experience was what you might expect from a fan base that was downtrodden for years, and has just become invigorated. There were a lot of fans in late model Brew Crew shirts, hats and jerseys who all knew their heroes well enough, Weeks, Hardy, Hart and Hall but probably couldn't tell you who was on the 1982 team. The shear amount of people in CC Sabathia jerseys show how out of touch these fans are. There is slim to no chance that he'll be there next year, but still they drop $20 on a tee shirt or $150 on a jersey.

Lucky for us the game lived up to the setting as the Brewers beet the Pirate Hookers 6-3 on a double and a homer from Ryan Braun. I hate to say it, but the only thing that was missing was a sudden and unexpected rain storm that would have forced them to close the roof to close above us. Which makes it the first time in my life I've ever prayed for rain at a ballgame.