Down On the Farm

XL came up to my neck of the woods this weekend to throw a few back with Inky, throw the football with me and so we could go see the future of our baseball team. We went to Bowie Maryland to see the AA Baysox take on the New Britain Rock Cats. Bowie is chock full of O's top prospects and we saw more than a few of them on display.

First and foremost we were there to see Matt Weiters, who was the O's top draft pick in the '07 draft. He is a 6-5 catcher who is about as "can't miss" as a baseball prospect ever gets. In the minors this year he is hitting over .350 including .362-9-40 in 42 games at AA. At this point there is no reason he should still be in the minors, let alone AA, so XL and I wanted to get a look at him while he was still down on the farm. I've heard from people inside the organization that there is no way he will be called up this year because it would start his free agency clock a year early, but he should be the opening day catcher next year. He was 1-5 in this game with an RBI but he also had a throwing error on a ball he should have just put in his pocket and left 4 on base.

We also got lucky that one of the O's top draft picks was on the mound for last nights game. Chris Tillman came to the O's in the robbery that was the Erik Bedard deal. Along with the CF of the future and the current closer Seattle was kind enough to give us this stud of a righthander. He is still just 20 years old, but he is tearing it up at AA. After last night he stands at 7-4 with a 3.67 ERA, while sporting 124 K's in 112.6 innings this year. He went 6 last night allowing 3 runs on 5 hits wile striking out 10, all while being one of the youngest players in the league.

We also got to see one O's prospect who, while having a good year, had a bad night. Noland Reimold is a 25 year old RF who is hitting .288-19-68 in 120 games in the middle of the Baysox order. Last night, however, he was 0-4 plus a walk, while striking out twice and leaving 7 on base. All in all it was a pretty good display of the state of the O's minor league talent, and a perfect night for baseball.

Top Reason The Pre-Season Sucks in the NFL

The pre-season for the NFL is always bitter sweet. We all love to have our teams back in action and it sometimes fun to watch the position competitions. We get way to much analysis from the likes of ESPN and your local market news but at the same time it's great to have football back in the head lines....especially when you route for a baseball team that currently resides in the cellar. Listed below are the main reasons I think the pre-season sucks:

1. While watching a pre-season game the announcers always feel the need to explain that it's just a pre-season game therefore you'll see a lot of subbing in and out, mistakes, procedure penalties, and yada yada yada. What is probably more annoying is them trying to sell you on the second half by saying things like "you've probably never heard of most of these guys but this is the most important game of their life"....like I care, most of them are going to be bagging groceries next month anyway.

2. The results are never realistic. Right now, the Ravens are dominating the Patriots 16-6. This probably would not happen in the regular season. The Ravens played the tightest game of the regular season against the Pats last year but it's not likely this outcome would be typical. The problem is Tom Brady and Randy Moss didn't even suit up. Most of the Ravens key players like Ray Lewis played only a series and then there are guys like Terrel Suggs that haven't even reported to camp yet (franchise protest). Not to mention the 17 players that didn't suit up due to "injuries".

3. I think this is the main reason I don't like the pre-season: IT'S TOO FUCKING LONG!! Do these guys actually need nearly a month and a half and 4 games to get into game day shape? If they do then shame on them for slacking off in the off season. Pre-season games are a joke and it becomes worse every year. You rarely get starters in the game until the third or game and even then they might play a half. I think the players and the coaches would prefer to play meaningful games so I really hope the NFL considers dropping at least one of the pre-season games and make the season a game or so longer. I know the fans wouldn't complain and I can't imagine the players would. They already bitch about having to play in games that don't mean anything and run the risk of getting a season ending injury.

The best thing that could happen this pre-season is if Brett Favre gets into the third or fourth Jets game and gets his leg broken. Not only would that be irony for Jets fans but Favre would get a little justice for being a douche bag. As a matter of fact I think Favre has moved from stiff of the week to the official "How my ass taste" award winner for now on I&TSG.

Pack It In You Silly Bastards!!

Stiffs o' the Week. It's been a busy one.

*Michael Phelps, for growing that thing on his face. Here's hoping he shaves to "cut down the resistance in the water." (although, the body is still perfect.)

*Rams/Titans, for fighting at a joint practice. So stupid, so played out, so already done by Stephen Smith.

*Phil Mickelson, for doing what he does best.

*Amanda Beard, for thinking there is anyone left who hasn't seen her business.

*XL, for misquoting our freaking Bible in a blog comment. Compelling and Rich, indeed.

When Adolf is Right, He's Right

Who knew Hitler was a Packers fan? This may be the funniest thing I have ever seen, I'm still laughing:

*I just want to watch "Girls Next Door" but instead I have to check ESPN every second. Those bitches are so fine.

* We'll have our own fucking Rex Grosman in Green Bay! Well, no one is that bad, but that's not the point.

* It's ok, we can always sign Michael Vick

* Why not just go on Dancing with the Stars?

Stud(ette) of the Week: My Wife Mrs. XL

You may wonder why my wife would qualify for such a high and distinguished honor. She is after all not a professional athlete or famous however what she is undertaking this week is more than most men I associate with would venture to do. She is out west hiking her way through the Sierra mountains in California. She'll reach an escalation as high as 30,000 feet where there will likely be snow. She is doing all this with a 40 pound back pack on her back carrying minimal clothing and freeze dried food (no cliff bars though) while also chaperoning 15 Girl Scout teens. The sick part is she lives for this kind of thing. I mean I think I get a good work out hiking up Greazy's steep ass stairs, there is no way in hell I'd spend 10 days hiking through mountains with bears and snakes and drastic climate changes. Lets be real, there is no way in hell I could do it, I'm way to out of shape and lack the will power to survive. My idea of vacation will be described on this site in a little more than 2 weeks when Greazy and I embark on an epic journey to Chicago and Milwaukee to see baseball stadiums and eat all kinds of bad (for you) food. So I am proud to bestow this honor on Mrs. XL and look forward to her safe return from the great blue yonder next week.

Panda Watch!!

We here at I&TSG are dedicated to breaking news and bringing you exclusives. We have Brett Favre's entire itinerary since he landed in Green Bay last night. Our on-site reporters found it in the trash. Please to enjoy.


10pm: Land at airport, and greet adoring fans. Sign autographs and nod politely at yokels who came to watch a plane land.

11pm: Pick up Deanna from scrimmage. Listen to her bitch about being left alone in a skybox at a scrimmage.

12am: Hit the sack. (Before brushing teeth, stare into mirror and remember that everyone is super-psyched about my return to football. Assures self that they will forget all about those tears and sentimental musings at that press conference.)

12:30am: Sleep the sleep of the righteous and overpaid.

7:00am: Wake up and get out of bed slowly, so as not to injure self on way to bathroom.

8:00am: Meet with management and coaches to figure out the best way to tell Aaron Rodgers he has to hold a clipboard for another season.

9:00am: Console offensive line who are reduced to tears at the very sight of me.

10:00am: Pretend to run drills, while really glad-handing and mugging for the camera.

11:00am: Drink some Gatorade while "stretching."

12:00pm: Press Conference where justifications will be swallowed like chocolate cupcakes.

1:00pm: Leave camp and chill at the hotel. Spend afternoon remembering why football is so great.

M.V.C

Are you ready for what passes for football in August? If so, I'm sure you were watching the Hall of fame game from Canton Ohio tonight. The Redskins topped the Peytonless Colts 30-16 in a game that in no way tells us what either of these teams will do in the regular season. The whole weekend had a very Burgundy and Gold feel to it as the Hall of Fame threw open it's doors for former Skins greats Darrell Green and Art Monk, who should have been inducted 8 years ago, but I digress.

As for the game, when Al Michaels wasn't referring to #81 as Monkey, it was about as boring as you would expect. That is, until the Skins sent out the third of the four QBs they would use on the night. With all do respect to all the guys in Blue and White, the best Colt on the field tonight was Colt Brennan who was 9/10 for 123 yards and two TDs with the Third string. His passes were crisp and right on target and he seamed calm enough in the pocket to whip his cock out in front of a college coed. Looks like the skins have found the guy who will stand by with a backup clip board for Todd Collins!

We're One Week From The Olympics.....Do You Care?

I've gotta say that there is absolutely no chance that I will watch any of the summer Olympics unless somehow baseball is televised. I don't know what it is but I could care less if the USA wins gold medals in gymnastics or sprints, or whatever the fuck else we compete in. I don't care about the basketball team that will inevitably disappoint even though they've played together as a team much longer than previous iterations. I love Coach K but I really doubt that this team will be focused, after all I'm pretty sure Nike and Reebok have slave factories in China that the likes of Lebron and his cronies will want to check out.

Michael Phelps is a local boy from MD but I don't care if he drowns trying to break another record. I guess the point is I don't really watch any of these sports anyway so why the hell do I care what happens every four years. The funny thing is most people only tune in to the opening and closing ceremonies and watch what will be the God awful Bob Costas wrap up show. The good thing about the summer games is at least they happen during a time where good TV shows aren't interrupted. So keep the torch lit and enjoy pissing and shitting in a hole if you have actually taken the time to go to China to eat the Kung Pao and watch the games.

...and a douche nozzle to be named later

I'm hard pressed to say who would be getting the worse end of a Favre for Manny deal. One thing is for sure, I'm sick of hearing about both of them. They are both getting very close to "how my ass taste?" territory, and are each already in the running for stiff of the year consideration. Favre's transgressions are way worse, when you factor in the reality that 4 months ago it was pretty much a universal thought that he was an all around great guy and now most of us would like to shoot him in the nuts with a potato gun. Manny has always been a psycho Prima donna.

Counting the Days

How long until September? The O's fell 13-3 in their game today, missing out on a chance to sweep the Yankees. No matter how much I liked seeing them kick the shit out of Mike Mussina the other night, one thing is true. It's hard for me to get very excited about the O's these days. There are two many guys who roll over into a double play in a big situation, and too many pitchers who just can't get into the late innings.

I do think my interest in the O's will get a lot more pointed very soon, either in September or next April when Matt Wieters pulls on his #32 Orioles Jersey. Since being called up to AA the O's #1 prospect hasn't disappointed. In 31 games he is hitting .350-6-26 and has walked (18) more than he has struck out (16). in 69 games at single A, he hit .345-15-44, giving him totals for the year between Bowie and Frederick of .347-21-66 in 329 at bats over 100 games. I love this kid.

I don't think he's the next Albert Pujols or anything, but he isn't far away from that based on his numbers, and he previous success in college. Bring on '09!

Stiff of the Week: Fat lil Giuliani

Who remembers Rudy Giuliani's 1994 mayoral inauguration? Not ringing a bell? How about the Saturday Night Live depiction of it that stared Chris Farley as the Mayor's then 7 year old son, Andrew? Now you're remembering. Well as it turns out, that little fat kid went on to enroll at Duke University where he hoped to become... a pro golfer. (See, it is sports related)

As it turns out, Andy wasn't much of a golfer, in addition to being a pretty huge douchbag. So the new golf coach at Duke kicked him off the team, and Andy responded by doing what any child of privilege does when things don't go his way: he took it like a man and looked for another school in which to enroll. Naw, just kidding, he totally sued to get back on the team at Duke.

The thing is, none of his teammates, including his roommates, wanted to save him from being kicked off the team, but he has a great answer for that, he says the coach pressured them and they succumbed to wanting him gone to make another spot on the team for him. That seems like an odd motivation when you learn that Fat Andy's scoring average last season was 74.5 strokes, which was 12th on the team. So I guess that aspiration to be a pro golfer was already derailed before you got thrown off the team for being a d-bag, huh Fat Andy?

Evans Falls Short

The champagne has been drunk, the Tour is finished, and again this year, Cadel Evans stands on the podium. Just not in the spot we all thought he would be. For the second year in a row, the Aussie rider came in second place, this time behind Spain's Carlos Sastre.

This year's favorite had his chance to take back the yellow jersey in a late tour time trial. But, instead, he faltered. Much has been made of Evans' lack of ability to handle pressure. Maybe all that is true. But, in the grueling three week race, anything can happen. This year was marred again by drugs scandals, right up to the last day when a Kazak rider was discovered right after the trip down the Champs-Elysees. (Damn Borat!!)

Still, it was a good ride, and the cycling world has a lot to be positive about, and I don't mean drug tests. For America, there is Christian Vandevelde, a promising young rider who in years to come could be our next Lance. Back in Oz, Stuart O'Grady was a member of Sastre's team and got to take part in the glory of riding to Paris with the winner.

So, the Tour ends for another year. Another year for Cadel Evans to think about what went wrong, and how good it felt to wear the yellow jersey in stages 10-14.

Who knows? Maybe next year will be his year. Or maybe not. I know I'll be watching to find out.

FOUL!! Wait . . .TWO FOULS!!!

Now, I'm not a huge fan of Danica Patrick, but I felt it was time to say something about all these so called "issues" she seems to have. It seems a day doesn't go by that the media isn't showing her stomping off because she lost, or getting into it with this driver or that one. Recently, it was fellow woman driver, Milka Duno. Cries of cat fight aside, I find this whole thing ridiculous. People only care because she is a woman. Tony Stewart has been in slap fights with damn near everyone in racing, but he's not given heat for it. His fat ass gets a pass because of one reason, and one reason only. A dong.

The double standard in sports is as important as the hyperbole and the stats put together. If women's sports were ever truly legitimized, then we might have to start to feel icky about putting them on magazine covers in bikinis. Lord knows it would be icky if it were Tiger Woods. But no one seems to mind when it's Natalie Gulbis. Golf Magazine had a poll to find the Top 10 golf babes. Something tells me Rocco Mediate wasn't on that list. Roger Federer never graced the cover of SI clutching a pillow, but Anna Kornakova sure did.

If women's sports were taken seriously we'd have to stop thinking about them in terms of vaginas and start thinking about them in terms of how good they are at their game. Without the means to objectify them and make them something other than real athletes, nobody knows how to talk about it. Sure, she can play, but she looks like a dyke. Sure, she can play, but she couldn't ever be as good as a man.

The latest in the long line of bullshit is the fight that took place between the LA Sparks and the Detroit Shock. God forbid women get pissed off and show it just like men. Maybe it was because Candice Parker didn't jump into the crowd or choke out her coach. Maybe that is why men don't seem to get it. For whatever the reason, people are shocked by the fact that in women's team sports, emotions can run just as high as in men's.

I think it is a great first step. That's right, get into it ladies. Stop acting like you are trying to win a beauty contest. Fuck being a roll model. Girls need to see that defending yourself and a teammate is a good thing. Not just something women do because it's fun for guys to watch. I say fight on sisters. Fight because you want to, and if someone makes that fucking cat noise at you, kick him in the nuts!

I Won't Make a Dancing Pun...

So the Washington Redskins got a stud DE to replace a fallen DE, and all it cost them was two draft picks. Sure, in the hands of the Tuna that 2nd rounder can turn into a perennial all pro, but you have to think about the impact Jason Taylor will have on the Skins D. After having made the playoffs twice in the last three years with no pass rush to speak of, Taylor is a quantum leap in that area. His presence will also mean more chances for outside linebackers to get into the backfield. In addition to his impact on the gridiron (which should be much augmented thanks to his change of venue) Taylor is a fan's dream for his off field and PR impact. Here is a very good looking guy who could give a great speech if he ran for Senate, and lets just say the ladies love cool Jay too.

Statue-worthy?

First things first: I love Harold Baines. If someone told me that the number 3 was being retired by the Orioles I would have no problem with that. I loved watching Harold hit (except when he couldn't get a runner home from third with less than two outs vs Cleavland in the '97 ALCS, but I digress) and it never hurt his case at Camden Yards that he was a native Marylander. We had Brady Anderson- who was born in MD- Harold, Billy and of coarse Cal. It added a nice touch to a team that was on the rise and needed a professional hitter in the middle of the line up. HB was that player.

Of course he is equally loved on the South Side of Chicago, where he played for 11 plus years with the Sox. The story goes that Bill Veeck first scouted HB as a 12 year old little leaguer on the Eastern Shore. When the Sox got the first over all pick of the '77 draft they jumped at the chance to take Baines and he delivered for them, starting in 1980. For his career he hit .289 with 384 home runs and 1628 RBI. (with the O's he was .301-107-378 in 666 Games) He was also remarkably clutch (again, save for that ALCS game when Mussina struck out 17 and got a no decision) and had just about as sweet a swing as you ever saw.

With all that said, I ask: Is Harold Baines statue-worthy? The White Sox seem to think so, and they unveiled the monument yesterday. If there is a statue to HB at Comisky, then why not at Camden Yards? He played for 5 teams, but other than the Sox he spent the most time with the birds, having spent 5 1/2 years in orange and black. What is the cut off? The O's had Reggie Jackson for two thirds of a season, so can we retire his number and give him a statue?

The only thing I do know is that the O's have a particular statue deficiency. The only likeness outside of Camden Yards is of a Yankee for crying out loud, albeit a Yankee from Baltimore. Why isn't Brooks outside of the third base entrance? Why isn't Eddie outside of the first base entrance? Why isn't Frank standing proudly on the other side of Eutaw St. from the Babe, so he can be near right field? I guess it all comes down to who you think is statue-worthy.

Let Me Axe You A Question....

That question is why are there professional football players getting injured with an axe? It doesn't happen every year but the fact that any pro athlete is side lined by getting hit with an axe is a little disturbing. The latest victim is Josh McCown the would be starter of the hapless Miami Dolphins. Turns out while he and younger brother Luke were cutting fire wood at his residence in Jacksonville, Texas Luke, who was holding the log got his right index finger chopped. He needed 6 stitches and with training camp around the corner who knows if he'll be in any shape to compete for the job in Miami.

I have to ask first, who the hell is chopping fire wood in July....in Texas? Second, you are a professional athlete and even though you don't make the big money you should certainly be able to afford to heat your house without need of fire wood. Or at least be able to pay someone to chop it for you right? I also have to wonder about the technique used in this accident. The thought of holding a log while someone else swings an axe at it seems pretty crazy. Did Josh draw the short straw or were he and brother Luke sipping on a little bit of grandpa's cough syrup? Either way this is one of the more bizarre accidents in sports that has to rank up there with the punter in Jacksonville swinging an axe at a stump and hitting his own leg to Jeff Kent breaking his arm washing his truck (or whatever he claimed to be doing). I guess if nothing else this gives the Dolphins more reason to attempt to trade for my extended stiff of the week Brett Favre!

The Curse Continues

I guess we know how the Madden Curse will manifest itself this year, huh? The cover jinx is in its 10th year now, and last year branched out into a second language as Luis Castillo of Whale's Vagina became the first "Spanish Edition" cover boy, only to see his production fall off by a mile. I guess Brett signed on to be the cover boy when he thought he was goin' fishin' but now he's trying to come back, and funny enough, it's not going well. Jinx!

Stud of the Week Cadel Evans

Is there anything the Aussies can't do? Well if cycling was on that list, it isn't now. Aussie rider Cadel Evans recovered from a crash on Sunday which literally tore part of his pants off to take the overall lead in the Tour de Freedom. Inky tells me that just donning the Yellow Jersey once in your career is a big deal, let alone having a chance to win the whole thing, which Evans does. Good on ya Cadel! I'm happy for you, even if you did cry like a little girl when they gave you the yellow blouse and the stuffed lions. Oh, sick burn!

Stiff Of The Week: Brett Favre

I know, I'd have never thought I'd have Brett Favre as a stiff of the week either. I mean the guy is lovable enough for sure. He's set all time marks in one of the most legendary football towns in the US on one of the most sacred of fields. His team is probably the smallest market professional team in sports yet they are one of the most well known. The kicker, he was addicted to pain killers early in his career and he's such a good player and all around guy that somehow no one remembers that. He had a season to remember last year and was a field goal away from going to the Super Bowl. It was in all a magical career for Brett Favre with a Super Bowl ring and consistent trips to the play offs. When he retired at the end of the season it was to a media circus and you would've thought he was Jesus reincarnated into a quarter back. So why oh why would I name such a stand out guy a stiff of the week?

Well lets fast forward about 6 months to the present. The Packers have moved on with Aaron Rodgers who should finally get a chance to show what he can do. He was after all one of the most highly touted rookies three years ago and has done little more than hold a clip board since being drafted while his small handed "better" Alex Smith has been a bust in San Fran. Now Brett Favre is asking to be re-instated by the NFL and then to be immediately released by the Packers. Favre is upset because the Pack didn't jump for joy at the news that he has reconsidered and wants to play again.....again. Who could blame Green Bay management, I mean we're less than a month from training camp, Rodgers has been practicing as the starter in mini camp and the team had moved on. They even cleaned out the sacred locker that was at one point referred to as "more than just a locker" by coach Mike McCarthy. So Favre wants a no strings attached release where he can go play wherever he wants. I'm sure there are plenty of teams that would love to have him, namely the Vikings or the Bears. Can you imagine what that would be like this season? Number 4 charging into Lambaugh Field playing for the other team, especially a hated rival....it's almost sacrilegious.

Brett, you've had a good run and you helped bring the Packers back to relevance after years and years of losing. When I had no team to watch because of the city of Indianapolis and a shit owner I adopted you and your team. I watched you improve, and go through your addiction, to ultimately winning a championship. I even own your jersey which is remarkable considering I don't own anything but Baltimore/Washington gear. You've had a hell of a career and you went out pretty much on top of your game. As I'm typing this John Clayton is saying Baltimore would be a good destination for Favre and I am hard pressed to disagree although I'd rather not see it happen. It would be like Joe Montana in Kansas City or Johnny U. in San Diego, a bastardization of a great player playing in the wrong colors.

Bases Loaded, Two Outs, Up by 3. Who you Gonna Call?

Outman, that's who! Inky and I met up with her family in Reading Pennsylvania last night to take in some minor league baseball and saw a doozie. The Philles sent 12 men to the plate in the first and scored 9 runs. But, this is the minors and no lead is safe and the Erie Sea Wolves started to chip away, scoring a crap load of their own runs. So, when all seemed lost and when the fate of the fireworks display hung in the balance the Phillies called on that Hero of a Hurler, the Caped Curveballer, the Masked Major Leaguer in waiting... Outman! Josh Outman that is.

I was sorry to see that all Philles manager P.J. Forbes did to summon him to the mound was tap his left forearm. I was hoping for a big bat signal like K that would shine on the outfield advertising wall. To make matters worse, when he did come to the mound he was just wearing the standard baseball uniform. No cape? No tights? No utility belt with objects to doctor the ball?

What a rip off! With a name like Outman you have got to play that up. Hell, this kid should be a closer, and use the batman theme music as he slides to the mound on a zipp line. That would kick ass, so much so that I wouldn't even care if he actually got outs. Sometimes your name fits your personality and sometimes it doesn't. Lets hope that the latter is true with another of the Phillies pitchers: Antonio Bastardo.

If Tennis Were Like This More, I'd Watch More

Sure the Wimbledon Final was amazing and all, but if this went on more often at tennis matches, I think we'd all watch more. Jelena Jankovic is just inches away from being qualified to be a contestant on Playboy TV's Foursome here. Good on her...

Mystery Solved

It looks like the "mystery" of George Sherril has been solved by the majority of Major League Baseball teams playing the Orioles. Tonight Sherril and the O's bullpen as a whole allowed the Blue Jays to complete a sweep in the Rogers Center. It should be noted that in two of these three games the O's led for all but the bottom of the 9th and the rubber game would've been a win if we could've not allowed inherited runners to score. We also lost 2 out of 3 to the Texas Rangers over the weekend because the bull pen all of a sudden can't get anyone out.

It's amazing how Sherril can be so dominant up until the O's played the Pirates at home in June. In that series he blew two saves then went on to blow more saves against the Nats. He complained of dead arm in mid June which should have been a warning to manager Dave Trembley that this guy is not the long term answer to the closer problem. I mean how the hell do you have "dead arm" before the mid way point of the season? I know he got a huge save against the Cubs in Wrigley after he loaded the bases with no outs but to not be able to perform night in and night out is not acceptable.

What is worse is he is ruining his trade value which a month ago was sky high. I'll even admit to telling Greazy that the O's would be crazy to trade him. After the last three weeks I rescind that remark. I'm also sorry he's our lone representative to the All Star game. I mean guys like Brian Roberts, Aubrey Huff, and Nick Markakis are far more deserving and have been more than a three month wonder in their career.

With the loss tonight the Birds fall two below .500 with three to go in Boston. My bet is we'll finish the first half at 5 under .500 with a dismal outlook going into the home stretch. This is a real shame because for the most part the O's have been fun to watch this year. The timely hitting is there and the never say die attitude is prominent but when you can't close the deal it's all for nothing.

Big Time Indeed

There were somethings that Inky, XL and I gave up when we chose to go to a DIII school, and being big time in athletics was one of them. In the 90's at least. We had a few teams that made a ripple, but for the the most part we were unknown. Fast forward to the fall of 2004 when a 6-7 freshman forward came to our little campus and some of that began to change.

We went to the final four with that freshman that year as he helped a group of upperclassmen come together as a great team. Together they made it back to the NCAA tournament the next year and put together a 53-8 record over the two years. We were ranked all year long, and people who knew DIII knew York College. Then the soccer team stepped up to national prominence, at one point ranked number one in the country and we had a wrestler win back to back national titles.

We were getting put on the map, but it wasn't like big time college sports. That is, not till last August when that young freshman forward -now a senior captain- was arrested for assault in an off campus beating of another student. Next thing you know he was suspended for two games, a penalty that seemed small at the time, but which ultimately lead to him missing out on setting the school and conference all time scoring record. Not to mention the fact that with him alone, the team went 34-18 and didn't make the NCAA's, even though he was scoring 20 points a night.

The jury in his trial is now deadlocked, trying to decide if they should find him guilty or believe his younger brother who said he did it, and was convicted in juvenile court. Headlines at last! I think I'd like to go back to the good old days of a low profile 8-18, thank you.

Nice Hat, Does it Come with a free bowl of soup?

"It looks good on you though."If you happend to watch a major league baseball game this weekend you probably noticed something strange about the hats the teams were wearing. In honor of the birth our nation, and to benifit the the Welcome Back Veterans fund, all MLB teams sported caps that had the team symbol overlaying the flag. Now I'm not a gun toating nut who finger-bangs my step daughter in the back of the trailor while my wife is working at Hooters, so I don't see the need to be over the top about my love of my nation. I love it by doing little things like voting, paying attention and understanding what democracy really is. What I don't do is wear a flag pin or display a "love it or leave it" bumper sticker, sue me.

So naturaly I think this display of forced, P.R. driven patriotism is aweful. Add to that the fact that MLB is selling these caps on their website for $34.99 and it is a total train wreck. Really? 35 bucks for this shitty hat? It's not like they even look good, because all the teams had to have the same color and the stars and stripes inside the teams symbols looks contrived and downright terible. The only thing that could make this situation worse is making the leagues loan team from Canada wear one of these hats with their own flag in it, dispite the fact that it is not one of their national holidays. What's that? Oh, shit:

DOG OFF!!!!

It's July 4th in America so what's more patriotic then watching a bunch of jack asses shove as many hot dogs into their faces over a 10 minute period? Do other countries do this kind of stuff when they celebrate their independence (or some other form of patriotic day)? Just minutes a go my wife and I witnessed the first ever "dog off" in the nearly 100 year history of the Nathan's hot dog eating contest. Joey "I've got high cholesterol" Chestnut held off Takeru "I love wieners" Kobayahi to win the mustard belt for the second consecutive year. Both eaters were tied at 59 dogs at the end of the regulation 10 minute eating period. Once the crumbs were settled the judges decided to go to a 5 dog eat off. Whichever competitor could wolf down their 5 dogs first would walk away with not only the coveted mustard belt but also the title of world's greatest hot dog eater. Chestnut started out quickly eating 3 of his 5 but Kobayahi was able to eat two at a time to take a 4-3 lead. Seeing his dreams falling before him Chestnut reached deep within himself to finish his 5th dog a half second before the Samurai of tube steak could swallow his keeping America's title where it belongs.

This is the first year I've ever watched this event and what is more impressive is how many people actually go to this. There were thousands of people plus ESPN there. What is great is listening to the announcers refer to this as a sport and speculate that if Kobayashi loses he would have to retire because being the world's best hot dog eater is all he has. I've gotta tell you, if I get to a point in my life where something like being the best at eating a type of food is all I have Greazy can kick me in the nuts and put me out of my misery. All in all though it was an entertaining 15 minutes and has caused me to rethink grilling any hot dogs today cause watching that shit is nasty!

A Mixed Bag of Whores

There are a few things going on in sports that I want to comment on. That is to say, each of these things are important enough to me to write a few sentences about in this post, rather than taking the time to devote a whole post to them. So I guess I don't care all that much, but here goes.

1)If Brett Favre comes back to the NFL, he should be shot in the testicles with a potato gun. I know that seams excessive, but I think it would be a shitty thing to do. Why is it that hundreds of other very high level athletes have been able to handle the end of their careers so well, but, Brett has been tripping over it for the last 3 or 4 years. I like Brett, but I think he needs to get a hobby or start banging a 23 year old. He'll forget about football real quick.

2)People have to stop bemoaning the move of the Sonics to Oklahoma City. Is the system broken? Yes, it is. We live in a world where a team owner can up and move to another city, with the full blessing of his commissioner, if the home city doesn't build them a 400 million dollar arena and provide him with four 23 year old Russian whores to be his harem. It happened in Charlotte and they got a team back, and at least Seattle will get to call their next shitty team by the same name.

3)Red Sox fans must remember what they were like 5 years ago and stop giving Tampa Fans (the few of them who go to games) a hard time for being pumped about being in first place. "It's only July 3rd" they say, but when you've never won (or haven't won since 1918) you have to take what you can get. During the Yankees dynasty, Sox fans acted the same way when they would have a lead in the AL East, and Yankees fans would tell them "we'll be in first when the season ends." Now, the tables are turned, and the Sox fans have replaced Yankee fans as the worst in baseball, and frankly they are acting like a bunch of 23 year old whores. Congrats, Go Rays.

4)Lastly, if Alex Rodriguez is really separating from his wife then it should be for a 23 year old skanky whore, not for a 50 year old talentless whore. For a guy who's worth a half a billion bucks, and is what some people consider good looking he sure picks strange dalliances. Remember the whole "stray-rod" thing from last year? Just another example of A-Rod striking out when the pressure was highest.

How Baseball Killed our Patriotism

It is that time of year again. The time when you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a fireworks stand, or walk two feet without seeing a sign for fireworks displays. I think I speak for everyone here at I&TSG when I say, WE FUCKING HATE FIREWORKS!!

Why, you ask? It seems an extreme opinion of something so iconicly American. Especially coming from three sports-loving-all-Americans like us. Well, there is only one answer; one explanation for this visceral reaction. Baseball did it.

About 10 years ago, the three of us were spending our summer toiling away at minor league baseball stadiums. Baseball really is America's past time. And, like historical America, it adheres to a strict policy of slave labor to save money. The "paid" intern. If you want to call it pay. You get literal peanuts to work 8-18 hour days, do demeaning tasks, and you are supposed to love it. The idea is that, if they like you, you can get a full time job out of this internship. So, then you can get underpaid a little better to do the same thing. Fun, right?

In addition to the number of crazy, stupid, ridiculous, and downright retarded things we all had to do that summer, there was one thing that changed us forever. Every Thursday and Saturday nights were fireworks nights. A beautiful display would go up into the warm summer night sky and wow the crowd, usually to a Star Wars soundtrack. Then afterwards, everyone would pile the kids in the car and head home. But, not us.

You see, to all you people out there who don't know, fireworks leave behind debris. Big pieces of smoking and charred paper. And, if the wind blew just right, this shit would land all over the precious grass of the field. Guess who had to clean it up? That's right. Interns. There is only so much magic that fireworks can have after doing something like that. The only possible exception would be New Year's in Sydney, Australia. Then we might be able to endure.

So, while you are all out celebrating the 4th, and watching those fireworks, think of us here at I&TSG, cringing with every colorful explosion. God Bless America!!

Oh, Cousin Floyd!

In the interest of full disclosure, Floyd Landis is not actually my cousin. This was a name we gave him years and years ago, before he was anyone, as my unmarried name is Landis. There is no evidence that he is related to my clan. My family didn't raise a bunch of cheats. I've never needed synthetic testosterone. I get mine the old fashioned way. (wink wink)

But, I have to say, Floyd has disappointed me. I wanted to believe him so much when all the shit with the Tour de France went down. I wanted to believe it was all sabotage, but that is terribly unlikely. So, I'll just have to accept the fact that my (non) cousin is a damned cheater, just like many before him. Cycling is a great sport, and it is a shame that this kind of thing keeps people from watching. Because it is awesome, and yes, it is something you could never do. No matter how many times you took your banana seat down to the malt shop.

So, check out the Tour when it starts in a few days. The favorite this year? Cadel Evans, a fine Aussie looking for the country's first win. Good luck to him, and all others who ride clean. I know Phil Liggett and I will be watching. You should too.

He Just Couldn't Take it!

The fallout from Georgia's loss to Fresno State just keeps piling up. After the humiliating defeat -which if you watch ESPN, you know was the equivalent of a 14 or 15 seed winning it all, a fact they wouldn't stop talking about- the University has taken another shot on the chin. Long beloved mascot Uga, was so distraught about the loss that he decided that he was going to end it all. Thought published reports say that Uga VI died due to congestive heart failure, we know better. Sources say that he was so lost over the baseball teams inability to beet the bulldogs from the west, that he knocked over owner Sonny Seiler's trash and ate some chocolate to do himself in.

Uga VI lead a tough life, as he was never able to step out of the shadow of his much more famous father and grandfather. Uga V, was in the Movie "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" and Uga IV attended the Heisman presentation when Herschel Walker won in 1982.

Uga VI will be burryed in a shoebox, in the back yard of a Georgia booster, rather then outside the stadium as custom normaly would dictate. The change of interment arangements is due to the shamfull way that he took his own life.

New Sport: Ghosting

With XL coming to Y-town this weekend, I think it may be time for us to compete in a new sport that's sweeping the nation. Something tells me that Inky will be the best at this game, but sadly, I also know that there's a good chance that one of us might get our ass beet.

On Tap: Weiters Weekend

Never let it be said that we don't go the full mile to cover sports here at Inky and the Sports guys. This weekend the team is coming together (we really think it's special when we all come at the same time) so we can cover some sports live. The Orioles top prospect, Matt Weiters, got his call up from Frederick to Bowie last night, and so we are heading down to Prince Georges Stadium to see him in person. We would have seen him in Frederick, but Harry Grove stadium is a shit hole, in addition to being a funny euphemism for a vagina, so we passed.

Weiters should be in the bigs as the O's starting catcher next year, and to that end he's been living up to all the hype in the minors. At Frederick he hit .345 with 15 Homers and 40 RBI in 69 games. (huh huh huh, I typed 69) He walked 44 times while striking out 47 in his 229 at bats. Now all he needs to do is hit in the .310 to .320 range at Bowie, and still hit for power and we'll know he's more Mark Teixeira than Jason Werth.

Check back on Sundy for a full report on the game.

Australian Football, American Revolution

It’s nice to see that someone has stepped up and made a documentary about the US National footy team, and their quest to go to the MCG and win the International Cup. Footy is a game that can capture the interest of anyone, not just ex-pat Aussies and those who grew up seeing it on ESPN. There are guys all over the US who play on teams in their towns, from Baltimore and Philly to Milwaukee and Denver. The best of these players will get together to make up the American Revolution, a team that will travel to Melbourne to try and win a tournament featuring guys from all around the world. I say: Go the Revo’s!

For more info: http://www.usfooty.com/usfooty/

Hey Sk8er Boi, How My Ass Taste?

http://view.break.com/525981 - Watch more free videos

We here at Inky and the Sports guys have been handing out the "Stiff of the Week" award for years, dating back to the radio show we did in college. I've decided to take it in a new direction, and will award a stiff of the week award when warranted, but will also hand out the "How My Ass Taste" award to those who just got their shit punked. This kid is the first winner. I'll think of this every time I see a bunch of douche nozzles skateboarding and not landing any tricks.

What If???

I'm sure by now we've all seen the clip of Shaq "free style rapping" at some party asking "Kobe how my ass taste?". Shaq being the grown up that he is was "just having some fun" with the fact that Kobe couldn't win a championship without him on the team. Shaq after all was able to win another one in Miami without Kobe. Now if anyone knows about ass and how it taste it's Kobe lets be real but what if other stars acted this way.

Imagine Michael Jordan reacting this way to Scottie Pippen's failure to lead the Bulls to anything relevant after his first retirement. I'm pretty sure Jordan has never "free style rapped" in his life but it would've probably been pretty funny. Steve Young could do a Mormon chant about how Elvis Grbac was never able to lead the 9'ers after he left. Hell Tiger Woods could record a jazz song about every other golfer. You just don't see it though. Kobe and Shaq had a long history of ups and downs and just when you thought they might "remain boys" Shaq ask him how his ass taste. Oh well, I guess Kobe gets the last laugh because Shaq lost his "badge" at the Maricopa county sheriff's department. I hear he also is going to have to eat a green bologna sandwich and wear pink underwear for a week as punishment....

It's All About The Hair??

The Orioles surprisingly good season has continued into the weekend with a sweep of the Astros and the chance to take a series from the Milwaukee (Algonquin for the good land) Brewers. Previous to that they concluded a 5-1 home stand that included the sweep of the Astros as well as a winning series against the butt Pirates. If you ask Kevin Millar why the team has been playing so well of late he'll tell you it's because he died his hair mostly blond.

We all laugh at superstitious baseball players who believe changing things like hair or the way they get dressed makes them better. I also realize that Millar is kidding but it's funny that he suggested that the rest of the team follow his lead and get the blond high lights too. One of the features of a MASN broadcast is a behind the scenes with one of the players. They've highlighted Freddie Bynum and Matt Albers among others. What is funny to me though is the majority of our bull pen are good ol' boys. Jamie Walker and Jim Johnson in particular so you can imagine what they'd say to dying their hair. My bet is they'll pull a line from Brad Paisley's newest song entitled I'm still a guy. The line goes "I don't highlight my hair, I've still got a pair yeah honey I'm still a guy."

So I don't think we'll be seeing a bunch of Oriole players with blond hair, after all Adam Jones and Freddie Bynum would probably end up looking like Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man. As I type the game is 4- 3 Brewers with Olson on the mound. The O's haven't won a game on Sunday in over two months so maybe this Sunday is the one we'll get back in the win column (as said by Joe Angel).

Trying to avoid getting pregnant? Try Carl Yastrezmski.

Things really have changed since I took health class in high school. We learned about condoms, the pill, the rhythm method, pulling out (not kidding) and abstinence. We did not learn how to use an 18 time Boston Redsox All Star left fielder to prevent pregnancy. But alas, I keep seeing commercials advertising how you can use Carl Yastrezemski, or Yaz, to avoid getting knocked up.

Who knew? I knew he was the last guy to hit for the triple crown, back in the impossible dream team year of '67. I knew that he stepped right in to replace Ted Williams and as such made for one of the best tandem of players at one position, but I didn't know that, when taken daily, Carl Yastrzemski could prevent pregnancy, help clear up acne, and give you a shorter and lighter period.

Now that's a hall of famer!

260?

A buddy and I went to the ballpark last night to watch a little independent baseball, and I got to see some old familiar faces. As an O's fan there are a lot of our former players in the Atlantic League, like Keith Reed, Jay Gibbons, Eric DuBose, Ivanon Coffie and Val Majewski. Hell, even Long Island's Pete Rose Jr. was an O's farm hand way back in the day.

Last night I got to watch two former O's prospects who were supposed to have been regulars in Baltimore years ago. Pitching for the Rev's was Aaron Rakers and DHing for the Bluefish was none other than Calvin Pickering. Pick was the main reason the O's let Rafael Palmeiro go after the '98 season, with the Birds thinking he was on the way to anchor 1B at Camden Yards for years to come. That was a big mistake, as Palmeiro went on to post numbers of .283 214 HR and 608 RBI in his next five years in Texas, while Pickering just got bigger. Real big, like: have to be cut out of your house or wash yourself with a rag on a stick big.

As he strode to the plate at Sovereign Bank Stadium last night I did a triple take on the program, which lists him at 6'5" 260. Trust me, I know from fat, I am fat and Calvin Pickering hasn't been 260 since the 8th grade. I am 6'1" 270 and I could live comfortably in a pair of Pick's pants. He is every bit of four bills if he's an ounce. This guy's jersey number could be in the 4 digits without wrapping around to the sides. "Now batting, the DH, Number 1163: Calvin Pickering.

Not that Pick's tremendous weight is stopping him from putting up numbers. In 50 games in the Atlantic League he is hitting .266 with 6 dingers, 29 RBI, a 190 Systolic and a 100 Diastolic!

(Thanks to Atlantic League Baseball News for the photo)

Someone should tell the Yankees to XYZ

The Baltimore Sun's web site is reporting that the Yankees have been walking around for the last 6 weeks with their cock hanging out of their pants. Wow! That's a shock, I would have had my money on the Red Sox.

The other explanation is that the Yankees didn't hit their tee shot past the red tees and they became subject to the time honored "cock out" rule of golf. It's like the USGA says: what makes golf special is that we enforce the rules ourselves.

Stiff of the Week: D.J Trahan, Many others

XL did a stiff of the week about what someone in sports wasn't wearing, now I'm going to do one about what people shouldn't be wearing. Let's get one thing straight first, I can't stand people or teams in sports who always win. Boston, The Yankees, Florida Basketball and Tiger Woods bore the hell out of me. I don't hate Tiger because of who he is, I hate the fact that he always wins.

Saying that, let me point out even I think it is stupid to see how many of the guys chasing him have the balls to wear red on Sunday. That's Tiger's thing: wearing red on Sunday and huge teeth. It's what Tiger does, so don't be a douche and go out and get caps to have huge teeth, and don't wear a red shirt on Sunday to look cool. Because unless D.J. Trahan and Robert Karlsson were going to win the damn thing all they ended up accomplishing was to look like a lame ass, small toothed dumbass.

Stiff of the Week

I'm gonna make this short and sweet, my stiff of the week this week (other than Inky for pointing out my spelling flaws) is the Pittsburgh Pirates organization. They haven't been to Baltimore since the embarrassing 1979 World Series and they can't even participate in a turn back the clock game? The O's have been advertising this for weeks that they'd be wearing the 1979 throw backs so one would only expect to see Pittsburgh out there in those god awful gold uniforms with the funky black hat. But no, they played in their normal every day road jersey. Is this team to cheap to go out and get throw backs? I'm sure the fans of the Pirates (both of them) would've wanted to see the old jerseys and hats again. Oh well, at least the O's won that game, I think they're wearing the 83 throw backs in a couple of weeks, we can only hope the team they play will participate. Otherwise they will face the wrath of XL and the bold distinction of Stiff of the Week!

Stud of the Week, Bitches

Since XL has called us out, I thought I better post, before we have to start beefing. I was innocently flipping through the channels the other day, and came across Braves Vs. Phillies. I didn't care about the game, but what I heard behind the voice of Harry Callis caught my attention. Batters often walk out to the plate to music. On this day, Jeff Francoeur, a guy I've never heard of (plays right field for Atlanta) was walking to the batters box to one of my favorite tunes.

It was "Business Time" by the brilliantly funny New Zealanders Flight of the Conchords. So, good on ya, Jeff. You are my stud of the week. (If you've never heard it, run to their myspace page and listen. You will not be sorry.)

Where Have All The Bloggers Gone??

Hard to believe it's been over a week since any of us have been here. You'd think the world of sports had stopped or something. Lets recap whats happened lately:

• Big Brown choked
• Lakers/Celtics blah blah blah
• O's are actually having a winning road trip
• Detroit won the Cup

So on the first topic, Big Brown choked, does anyone really honestly give a fuck? I mean who the hell watches horse racing unless there is a triple crown possibility. Also, what kind of dumb ass trainer talks smack before a race and then blames the jockey when the horse loses? No one but rich mint julep drinking mother fuckers and career gamblers thats who. We'll all be excited to buy some kick ass Elmer's glue in a few years made from Big Brown himself.

Next topic, Lakers/Celtics, I hope everyone realizes that Magic and Byrd are not ever coming back. This isn't the 80's or the 70's and the NBA is pretty much a joke of a league with a bunch of ball hawking millionaires. I could care less who wins as I don't like either city but I guess I hate Boston more so go Kobe.

The only topic that matters, the O's are winning on the road against quality teams. After taking two of three from both the Twins (I love the Twins) and the Blue Jays the O's took game one tonight from the Red Sox. The Red Sox had only lost 6 games at home going into tonight and Beckett was on the mound so it's a good come from behind victory. Unlikely heroes like Freddie Bynum and Aubrey Huff contributed to another short Beckett outing as well as getting to the Japanese guy that no one else can hit in the pen.

Lastly the Red Wings won the cup. Big frigging surprise but at least Pittsburgh showed some life. I guess Schlack was wrong again, maybe he can predict something ridiculous for the Flyers next season. I think right now he's on a Philly's kick so God help that team....

That's all for now, hopefully Greazy or Inky will pick up the slack so you don't have to deal with my random thoughts for awhile....

Really?

With all my travel over the weekend, I was unable to listen to or watch my Cats. You'll remember that Inky and I were witness to their first loss in the better part of a year last week. With that the Footy media was abuzz with the idea that the Cats were done. What they didn't know, was that there was no chance the Cats were going to beet the Pies on that Friday night at the G, because Inky and I were there.

That Cats found their claws again against Carlton this weekend, winning by a final of 19.19 (133) to 12.5 (77). Doesn't it just figure that they would find their form a week after I saw them taken apart easier than a kids jigsaw puzzle. They could hardly get the ball into their offensive 50 a week ago, but when I'm not there to watch they have 38 scoring shots. Carlton only had one point in the third term for crying out loud! And that was one that Geelong conceded on a rushed behind.

Add to Geelong's victory the fact that the #3 Bulldogs took out the previously unbeaten Hawks and that puts the Cats back with in a sniff of the top of the ladder. They are tied with Hawthorn, but in second on percentage. All of this is just fine, but couldn't they win the one and only game I will probably ever get to see them play in person?

AFL Footy: Cats v Pies

Wow, did that suck. But I'll get to what happened on the pitch in a moment. Inky and I took a tram from St. Kilda up to Federation Square last night and then walked over to the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG). As soon as you cross the Yarra river you can see the MCG's lights all blazing down on the pitch, which served as our signal to get ready for the Footy.

The students became the teachers, as we walked with two girls from New Zealand who thought we were Expat Yankees living in Oz, and were asking us all about the game. We told them about how fast and exciting the pace of footy is, and also told them that the Cats are one of the best teams in the comp, and that they should have the Magpies for dinner. Oh well, but again, I'm rushing.

Our seats were again right behind the goals, just like the game we went to in Tasmania last week. After settling in for a moment, we used our "pass out" to go out to the area surrounding the MCG where all the food stands are. We got two burgers and split a drink and "chips" all of which only set us back $20, which was fine since the burgers were huge. We had planned on getting some meat pies, but couldn't find the stand, so we went with what was close.

Seeing a game at the MCG is amazing to say the least. I've been to Fedex Field in Landover with 100,000 other screaming Skins fans, but there is something about the shape of a Cricket Oval that makes it look 10 times bigger. The MCG holds just over 98,000 sports mad fans, but you would have thought it was twice that many. They watch the game intently, and almost seem to rise as one in approval or in scorn. Even a small perceived oversight by a ref leads to a collective murmur that sounds like a roar.

I would have loved if my first trip to "the G" had been to see a famous victory for the Cats, but it was not. Inky, decked out in her Cats scarf and I in my Geelong Hoodie sat and watched as the boys from Collingwood had their way with the defending champs. The Maggies won 20.14 (134) to 7.6 (48) a complete victory to say the least. And so it was that my team, who were 8-0 this year, and 27 for their last 28 including a championship won by well over 100 points, fell in front of my eyes.

It wasn't all bad, however. as we met some amazingly nice people. The family in front of us were all Collingwood supporters, but they we're very engaging with us and even gave Inky a Tim Tam. We talked about Footy and NFL Football, and the players that have bridged the gap, ironically one from Collingwood (Sav Rocca) and one from Geelong (Ben Graham). Even though the Cats got their assholes pushed in by one of their arch rivals I loved every moment of our time at the football last night!

Fuckin A Cotton....Fuckin A

I can't seem to stop quoting movies lately namely Old School and Dodge Ball but what else can you say to a 10-0 Orioles lead over the hated Yankees. Not only did the Birds chase long time traitor Mike Mussina after just 2/3 of an inning (Mr. Vaughan I thought you were pitching tonight. I did. Oh, I didn't turn the game on until the second inning). I was not home to see the beginning of this game but I do know that Brian Roberts had batted three times in three innings and La Marquis de centerfield is 4 -4 with 4 RBI's and the ancient Kevin Millar is 2-2 with an RBI and 3 runs scored. Daniel Cabrera is on the mound and poised to get his third straight win so things are lining up. Another juicy tidbit from this game is Derek Jeter had to leave after being hit in the left hand with a pitch. Not to wish bodily harm but I'd be happy if he missed a few weeks especially being as A-Rod is just now back and healthy. The Yankees are in the basement just behind Toronto while the birds chase the Rays and the Sox. At this point I'm still happy with a .500 season but I'd love to at least see a wild card push this season. If the Rays can keep up their momentum I'd be happy to see them win the East. After all, they are way way way over due on contributing anything worth while to Major League baseball. What is a bigger shame is that the people in the bay area could care less win or lose. All the more reason to contract or relocate....

In other news the NFL owners voted to absolve the current collective bargaining agreement effective in 2011. This also leaves open the possibility of a capless 2010 which could prove to be a real problem going forward. I know a lot of people would love to see a capless year but then what? Why would the players accept a cap in a future deal if they already played a season without one. I think we can all agree that the NFL is what it is because of parity and the salary cap helps to keep that in place. We have some years before we have to worry about it but it's something to keep in mind. Also it is being discussed to replace the 4th pre-season game with a regular season game therefore going to a 17 game season. I don't think anyone would disagree with that being as the pre-season in the NFL is pretty much a joke.

AFL Footy: Hawks v Port

I swear I didn't set it up this way, but Inky and I found ourselves in Tasmania when there was a footy game going on. Five times a year the Hawthorn Hawks become the Tassie Hawks and play home matches at York Park in Launceston. It would be like the New York Giants and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers playing at a DIII Stadium in Akron Ohio, but it is an amazing treat for Tassie footy fans.

Inky and I started our day off by each downing a Carlton Draught and then settled into our seats in the Northern Terrace. We were right behind the 4 goal posts and had a great view of the whole field. We got to watch one of the AFL's most prolific goal kickers in Buddy Franklin as he booted six 6 pointers for the match. The Power (who played in last year's Grand Final) pulled ahead early, and lead by as much as 39 points in the game. The Hawks stormed back to win 17.15(117) 15.12(102) after pulling away late in the third term.

We were also intently watching the Geelong score as they fell behind early to Richmond, but got into good form to win by 30. That means both Geelong and Hawthorn are both undefeated and careening toward a huge clash down the road. It also means that Geelong is still undefeated going in to their game on Friday at the home of Footy, the MCG. Inky and I will once again be behind the goal for that one, and I'll let you know all about it then.

This Is Sports Centre Mate?

One of the things Inky and I love about Australia is that they are sports mad here. Think of that face painting, zuba pants wearing dude you know who is way over the top, and you’ve got just about every Aussie sport supporter. So it is no surprise that they have a few different cable networks that bring them sport all day everyday. `

I was surprised find out that ESPN is one of them, however. Inky and I checked into our hotel in Tasmania to find that the US version of SportCenter was on. So I got caught up on what was going on back home, which was nice. Then upon waking up this morning I got to watch the Aussie SportCenter, which looks exactly like its US cousin.

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They have an identical set, and use all the same fonts, graphics and transition devices and most importantly the same sound. During the breaks they promo live NRL, Rugby Union, Cricket and PTI? That’s right; they have an Aussie version of Pardon the Interruption. It is kind of a surreal experience to sit in my hotel this morning (7:00 PM yesterday at home) and read about the football game that I’m going to later today, while watching New Zeeland v England cricket highlights which were then followed by Spurs vs Hornets game 6 highlights.

That settles it, there is no reason to go home now.

What The Fuck???

I have been abandoned for the month while Inky and Greazy tour Australia and possibly take a spiritual walk a bout. As I am typing this the O's are on top of the hated Red Sox 5-3 roughing up Josh Beckett for 5 earned runs in 2 and 2/3 innings. The announcer has just stated that this is the most runs and hits allowed for Beckett this season so go O's!! Lets hope they can hold on to this one. The 4 run inning was capped by a Luke Scott mammoth blast onto Eutaw St. What I liked most about this home run is not only is it off Beckett but on the big score board Old School with Will Farrell doing the Frank the Tank dance was playing. That movie is fucking classic and that scene was genius so all the better to celebrate a home run with. Another tidbit on this game is 2 of the three Sox runs are unearned so if we could play some fucking defense we'd be up even more.

Onto another sport the Ravens have started mandatory mini camps with new head coach John Harbaugh. Everyone is accounted for accept Terrell Suggs (contract dispute) and Jon Ogden (likely retirement) so things appear to be off to a good start. There was a reported incident on ESPN that there was an all team brawl on the first day after some heated words were exchanged between guys who will be bagging groceries by Labor Day. The high light of the camp was Joe Flacco completing a 50 yard TD pass to Mark Clayton who got behind the secondary. Also being reported is offensive coordinator Cam Cameron may want to go with a 3 receiver set as their primary attack which would be a big change. I'm not sure how I feel about that, I guess it will depend on who is playing QB.

That's all for now, hopefully Greazy will give us some insight as to what watching a live Aussie Rules Football game is like. I also want to know how the hell he eats the traditional meat pie without wearing half of it.

Optimism is for Suckers

Okay, I'll admit it. The Flyers may be better than I give them credit for. They managed to dispatch the number one seed Montreal Canadiens. They now move on to Pittsburgh. (which doesn't seem far, but really is) Can they win? I don't know. Will they win? I don't know. Do I want them to win? Yes. I do. I'm only human. As much as I don't want to believe, a tiny little part of me is rejoicing.

As a wise man told me this weekend about the Flyers chances: Why not? This logic may not be based on statistics, or goals against averages, or anything like that. But, let's say that the Flyers are going to win. Why? Because they might. They might just be able to pull it off. They could win. Couldn't they?

I like it. Not needing a good argument is a plus. But, it is also such an uplifting idea. Why can't the Flyers win? Why couldn't they get lucky and erase 25 years of suffering for the city of Philadelphia, and, 32 years of grief for their own franchise? They could win. It's kind of a "Yes I Can" for the cynical. It is not a definitive answer, but allows those of us who have been hurt by this team to hedge our bets. If they blow it, we can still say we knew it. But, if they win, we can say we knew it. Brilliant. All teams should try this.

So, it could happen. They could really do it. They could collapse like a house of cards on the Brady Bunch. But, they might not. Maybe this time, Marcia will take off her charm bracelet and Tiger won't run through the living room, ruining hours of hard work. It could happen. Why not?