We here at I&TSG are dedicated to breaking news and bringing you exclusives. We have Brett Favre's entire itinerary since he landed in Green Bay last night. Our on-site reporters found it in the trash. Please to enjoy.
10pm: Land at airport, and greet adoring fans. Sign autographs and nod politely at yokels who came to watch a plane land.
11pm: Pick up Deanna from scrimmage. Listen to her bitch about being left alone in a skybox at a scrimmage.
12am: Hit the sack. (Before brushing teeth, stare into mirror and remember that everyone is super-psyched about my return to football. Assures self that they will forget all about those tears and sentimental musings at that press conference.)
12:30am: Sleep the sleep of the righteous and overpaid.
7:00am: Wake up and get out of bed slowly, so as not to injure self on way to bathroom.
8:00am: Meet with management and coaches to figure out the best way to tell Aaron Rodgers he has to hold a clipboard for another season.
9:00am: Console offensive line who are reduced to tears at the very sight of me.
10:00am: Pretend to run drills, while really glad-handing and mugging for the camera.
11:00am: Drink some Gatorade while "stretching."
12:00pm: Press Conference where justifications will be swallowed like chocolate cupcakes.
1:00pm: Leave camp and chill at the hotel. Spend afternoon remembering why football is so great.
10pm: Land at airport, and greet adoring fans. Sign autographs and nod politely at yokels who came to watch a plane land.
11pm: Pick up Deanna from scrimmage. Listen to her bitch about being left alone in a skybox at a scrimmage.
12am: Hit the sack. (Before brushing teeth, stare into mirror and remember that everyone is super-psyched about my return to football. Assures self that they will forget all about those tears and sentimental musings at that press conference.)
12:30am: Sleep the sleep of the righteous and overpaid.
7:00am: Wake up and get out of bed slowly, so as not to injure self on way to bathroom.
8:00am: Meet with management and coaches to figure out the best way to tell Aaron Rodgers he has to hold a clipboard for another season.
9:00am: Console offensive line who are reduced to tears at the very sight of me.
10:00am: Pretend to run drills, while really glad-handing and mugging for the camera.
11:00am: Drink some Gatorade while "stretching."
12:00pm: Press Conference where justifications will be swallowed like chocolate cupcakes.
1:00pm: Leave camp and chill at the hotel. Spend afternoon remembering why football is so great.
1 comment:
That's quite a story, rich and compelling...
Post a Comment