Monday, December 31, 2007

New NFL Rules


Before I start this post, I'd just like to say one thing about the previous post. That's right, ladies. He's all mine.

Anyway, I have found myself growing more and more disturbed by the idiocy of the NFL. They seem to do a lot of dumb things. Players, owners, coaches, you name it. It goes all the way to the top. So, in light of this, I have composed a few new rules I would like to see the NFL adopt.
1) Stop caring who the hell Bill Belichick will and will not hug. Dude, if he doesn't want to rub his man parts against Eric Mangini leave him be. Grown men who coach football shouldn't hug anyway. I say Rochambeau.

1a) Stop calling him Man-genius. The Jets suck, let it go.

2) No more celebrating for simple things like tackles. I hate nothing more than seeing some guy get up after a tackle and act like someone handed him the Publisher's Clearing House check. Have some dignity, it is your job to tackle after all.

3) When someone drops a pass and it is clearly incomplete, don't pick up the fucking football and run with it. You're not fooling anyone, you're not going to score, you're not going to fix up your room.
4) No more shit talk from pine riders. End of story.

5) Stop blaming Jessica Simpson for the failings of Tony Romo. Blame his tiny, tiny eyes.

6) Tom Brady has to stop dressing like Brad Pitt for his post game press conferences.

7) Perfection is the realm of the creator. The Patriots didn't lose. Let's get a little perspective.

8) A shot in the mouth to a receiver is no longer illegal if everyone agrees he's a douchebag. Dub it the Moss/Owens Rule.

9) Elaborate dances from players must be in direct correlation to how good they are. Sorry Ray Lewis. It's time to tone it down.

And Finally, just for fun

10) To enhance the drama of overtime, two things. All back ups, no kickers. Think about it.

So, here's to another great year and the hopes that the NFL will someday get their big old head out of their asses one day. Until they, I shall remain ever vigilant.

Stiff of the Week: Greazy Tony II


This is the second time I am naming myself "Stiff of the Week" this year. The first was back on November 12, the day after the Redskins lost a game at home against Philly. That put the Skins at 5-4, and I named myself SOW because I was still letting myself be optimistic about the Skins' playoff chances, despite all evidence to the contrary. And I quote: "But then I woke up this morning and looked at the standings, and a funny thing happened. I found myself thinking that if they just go 4-3 over their last 7 games they will be 9-7 and that may be enough to make the playoffs." What happened next was totally unexpected, of course. The Skins lost the next two games to Dallas and Tampa (both games they could have, and probably should have won) and then endured the murder of a teammate.

When they couldn't rise up against the Bills in the days after Sean Taylor's death, I didn't think they would win another game. But, then came the Thursday night game against the Bears that turned into a battle of the backups who went to Michigan. Washington won that game to keep a faint pulse in their hunt for January football, but with their starter out, they would have to do it with Todd Collins. I didn't think they could win with Collins, but I was impressed with the career he had forged for himself.

Then came the win in Minneapolis which made me realize that I couldn't downplay their chances any longer. But with all that I had been through in the last 6 week, I sat down to watch the game today thinking the Skins would get their doors blown off. I've conditioned myself to think this way, so when they do lose it stings less. I'm an eternal pessimist, and for this I must be made the last stiff of the week for 2007. I would have to thing that Cowboys fans will be at the gates of the game in two weeks (be it vs the Skins, Giants or Tampa) trying to stop this woman from entering:

We Can Let Jessica Go Now


The Game was rife with story lines, hell, Redskins v Cowboys is always big, no matter the steaks or records. But, here we had one team trying to come from a 5-7 record to make the playoffs. The other team is supposed to be one of the best in their conference, but they haven't played like it over the last month. Dallas barely beet Carolina and Detroit and lost in the Jessica Bowl to Philly. Even though T.O. didn't play, the did let Romo stay out there for an awful long time for a team that wasn't trying. In the end the Skins wiped the floor with the Cowgirls to the tune of 27-6.

One storyline that I didn't hear anyone mention was the Todd Collins v Wade Phillips story. Collins was drafted to be Jim Kelly's successor, but when Marv left town and Phillips took over he was cast asunder. After kicking around as a back up for the last decade, he finally got a chance to show Phillips what he is made of, playing a near flawless game. For his part, Romo looked positively average and the 'Boys rushed for 1 yard. One. Three feet. 91.44 centimeters. You can fall forward and gain a yard and a half.

Meanwhile the Skins D looked like 11 ballhawks, Santana Moss and Clinton "Sheriff Gonna Get Ya" Portis are playing at the top of their form. I just wish the next game wasn't in Washington State, but you have to play the ones you're dealt.

Friday, December 28, 2007

The Rocket Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks


I am sick and tired of hearing how Roger Clemens is hiring a team of private dicks to go after the guy who once stuck him in the ass. No not Andy Pettitte, Brian McNamee. We'll never know if Roger, Barry or Big Mac used or not, but we're pretty sure. In the end that's all it takes in the court of public opinion and it works both ways. We didn't know if Clemens was really a hard working competition junkie but we all believed it because that was the image that was crafted. We all believed that Cal Ripken (one of my favorite players mind you) was the kind of guy who relaxed after the game by chugging a few bottles of milk and helping old ladies across the street. Nothing is as it seems, and sometimes that helps your image and sometimes it hurts it.

Did Clemens get a little extra "rocket fuel" back in '98? I don't know. Do it think he did? Hell yes, and that won't change when his High Priced lawyers tear this douche bottle, McNamee, apart the way sleazebag attorneys go after a rape victim because she had consensual sex with more than one guy in the days leading up to a rape. Just because you have sex, that doesn't mean you're asking for it, and just because you were a drub pusher doesn't mean you are lying about one of the guys you said you sold to.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Who Are You?

In the midst of a stream of consciousness conversation with Inky last night something odd occurred to me. I don't know exactly how we landed on the topic, but I came to the realization that Tom Brady's jersey doesn't say T. Brady even though there is another guy named Brady (super virgin Kyle) on his team. I started to ruminate on the topic of first initials on the back of a jersey. Is it really necessary? Who decides if it is done or not? My guess is that it isn't up to the league to mandate if the first initial is used or not, because some teams do it and other's done.
One could argue that it is generally accepted that when two guys have the same name on the same team that they get a letter or two followed by a period to differentiate them from one another. Hell, sometimes it's the whole first name. Think of the time in the late 80's when the Orioles had Jerseys that Read C. Ripken, C. Ripken Jr. and B. Ripken. What has always driven me crazy about this phenomenon it the fact that the jersey also contains a handy dandy number to help you differentiate between the players. If they all said Ripken the 7, 8 and 3 would have let us know who was who, not to mention the fact that you should know by where they are standing. If a guy with a Ripken jersey is at Short, it's Cal, if he's at Second it's Billy, if he's in the dugout it's Cal Sr.

So why the initials? As a skins fan I don't even need to see the #17 to know that I'm looking at Jason Campbell and not Khary Campbell. Likewise, when watching Tom and Kyle Brady play it is very easy to distinguish them from one another even if you can't see their 12 or 88. Tom will generally have his cock in a supermodel and Kyle will be preaching no sex before marriage. Also, Tom is smaller and throws the ball, Kyle is big and catches it. So I'm going to give a tip of the cap to the Perfect Patriots for not bowing to the first initial pressure.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Stiffs of the Week: Giants Fans.


If you're a fan, you show up and watch your team get it's butthole pushed in by the Patriots. If you're a REAL fan you show up this weekend to watch in the hopes that Eli and the boys can somehow manage a win over the 15-0 Pats. What you don't do is sell your ticket for tons of money to Pats fans, or anyone else for that matter, who just want to be at the 16-0 game. Don't get me wrong, I think any fan has the right to sell a ticket to a game and the owners like Dan Snyder and Bob Kraft who try and bust the fans are assholes. This is a game, however, that you have to go to as a fan. And so it is for that reason that I have named the fans of the New York Giants my stiffs of the week.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Wait...What Just Happened?


Over the last few weeks I've gone on and on about how my football teams season was ostensibly over. I talked in my last post about how I had nothing to look forward to over the next few months in the sports world. Then a funny thing happened: The Washington Redskins backed up two wins that I found unimpressive (and in fact detrimental to our draft spot) with a win Sunday night that put them in the drivers seat for the last playoff spot in the NFL JV, or the NFC.

The Skins played some good ball, and were the benefactors of the greatest "get out of jail free card" plays I've seen in years. While rushing to the line to get a play off, to stop the Vikings from challenging the previous catch, Washington QB Todd Collins fumbled the snap and the Vikings recovered. I was on my knees and elbows in front of the TV saying "Why, Why, Why?" But then Joe Gibbs threw the red challenge flag himself. I was beside myself, thinking the old man was making another one of his trademark "senior moment" mistakes that he has become famous for this year. It was obvious that the Vikings recovered the ball, what was he challenging?

There were 12 Vikings on the field at the time the Skins fumbled. Bam! Just like that, we get the ball back, get a first and 5 and go on to win the game. The win coupled with Green Bay's loss means that if the Skins beet the resting Cow Boys next week they go to the playoffs. How did this happen? This is the team that couldn't sack up and beet Buffalo in the days following the murder of their teammate. The team that won a game over the hapless Bears despite losing their starting QB to a leg injury. Sure they backed that up with a win over the Giants in Jersey, but I thought this is where they would fall apart. In the Dome they would be victims of that vaunted Minnesota rushing game and would drop out of playoff conjecture if not contention.

A funny thing happened, however. They won and now I may have two more weeks to be interested in. Hell, I may have 3 since the Seahawk's are about as big a fraud of an 10-5 team as the Giants are. Crazy man, crazy.

Friday, December 21, 2007

How Long Till Draft Day?


It's about this time every year when my thoughts turn, not to sugar plumbs dancing in my head but to Cinderella's second record. It is indeed a "Long Cold Winter" (oh yeah like you didn't love the song Coming Home). When your football team blows, your baseball team blows despite having a ton of guys on roids, and you hate the NBA and NHL, it makes for a long cold winter.

My countdown has begun till Baseball Spring Training, The Start of the Australian Rules season and the NFL draft. I can't get excited about college basketball until after the first of the year, unless it's my Alma mater, and they aren't doing so hot this year. The NBA is positively unwatchable and in no way shape or form compelling and the NHL keeps shooting it's self in the foot.

What is a boy to do from Christmas till mid January? I have no interest in the Bowl Games, since they all suck and won't really tell me who the best team in the land is. A USC v LSU game might have done that, but alas the $ won't allow it. Oh well, till we get a playoff I guess I do the unthinkable for this stretch of time: read.
Till then, have a Happy Holiday Bitches!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Look Who's Turning Me On Now



I know all the hype peaked over Amanda Beard back when she did Playboy, but I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge her as one of the hottest women in sports. I don't get down with the rail skinny chicks who just need to eat a steak. Give me an athletic woman with a world class body to go along with being a world class talent at her sport any time. Here are a few pictures from a recent photo shoot that serve as my evidence that Amanda Beard has THE best body in all of sports:

Exhibit A)

Exhibit B)
Exhibit C)
Exhibit D)

And of course, thanks to Heff, Exhibit E(rection):

Monday, December 17, 2007

Snatching Defeat From The Jaws of Victory....Ravens Football 2007


Well yesterday the inevitable finally happened...the Miami Dolphins got their first win and it came at the expense of the pathetic Baltimore Ravens. After dominance on both sides of the ball in the first half it seemed as though the Ravens stayed in the locker room for the second half. Kyle Boller was reasonably sharp early completing better than half of his passes including one for a touchdown to Derrick Mason. He didn't make any huge mistakes and kept the Ravens in manageable 3rd down situations. The defense was ok however was not dominant at any point in the game. The main reason for this is because half the starters are either on IR or playing injured. Neither starting corner was in so the secondary was exposed early and would carry over into the second half.


In the second half the offense looked confused and could not move the ball. Kyle Boller was constantly pressured and McGahee had no room to run. The only turn over came on an improbable play on a deep pass to soon to be stiff of the week Devard Darling. Darling was wide open over the middle in the Dolphins red zone and somehow managed to turn a catchable ball into an interception for the Dolphins. The Dolphins turned this turn over into 3 points which caused the OT period. The only good thing to come of this game was Boller got knocked out and Troy Smith got to play. Why he is not the starter for he rest of the year is beyond me. We've struggled through Kyle Boller for years now and he is obviously never going to make it as a Raven. Smith has a pocket presence and best of all he doesn't hesitate to throw which led to quick yardage at the end of the game and ultimately the tying field goal. We can debate all day whether or not the Ravens should've just gone for it all on 4th down and inches on the goal line but I'd have bitched about it either way. We had a chance to win in OT and Stover who is normally automatic from that distance pushed it. What are you gonna do, the defense was over matched all day and finally gave up the big play at the end. I'm pretty sure the Ravens will not win another game the rest of the year unless Pittsburgh rests their starters the last week of the season. I'm just hoping some of the other really bad teams keep winning so our draft pick is that much better in April!!

What A Life


If you could pick one NFL QB to be most people would probably say Tom Brady, and why not? Three and a half rings, bangs hot, famous chicks and he has the cute dimple in his chin. But, with all that notoriety come hassle. He can't just go out and be an ordinary guy, and that kind of blows. For me, I think I'd rather be Todd Collins.

Follow me on this: He was kind of a big deal at Michigan back in the day. I'm sure he got more ass then a toilet seat on campus in Ann Arbor and reaped the benefits of being BMOC. Not to mention that he was a damn big deal as a stand out High School athlete back in Walpole Mass, just down the path a bit from Foxboro. After 8 years as a stand out armature he got drafted by the Buffalo Bills to be the successor to a guy you might have heard of named Jim Kelly. He plays a pretty respectable season in his second year, leading the second largest regular season comeback in NFL history when the Bills come from down 26-0 to win 37-35 over Indy. This was the year before they got Peyton, so this loss really did them some good. They might have been forced to take Ryan Leaf had Collins not torched them.

Back to Collins: Then Wade Phillips comes in and decides to bring Doug Flutie down from Canada to helm the Bills and Collins heads to Kansas City where he draws a pay check for 8 more years, all the while playing in 12 games, starting NONE. This guy gets paid high six figures to low seven to work out and hold a clipboard.

Along the way he goes to Harvard Business School to learn how to become a success in his post Clipboard holding life. Not a bad get for a guy who gets paid to wear tight pants. He has a beautiful wife, a son and another on the way, and he's worked exactly zero days in his life. Then Jason Campbell breaks his freaking leg, and Collins gets to have another go at this football thing. He leads the Skins to a win over the Bears in relief then comes out and completes 32% of his wind blown passes in a win over the Giants. There is some crazy scenario that would have the Skins in the playoffs with Collins at the helm if he is able to beet the Vikings and Cowboys (which they won't do mind you.) All this means to Collins is a few more stories to add to his collection before he retires after this year or next.

You can be Tony Romo and have to try and make conversation with Jessica Simpson. You can be Brett Favre and not be able to go anywhere from see to see in the US with out being hounded. Or you can be Peyton Manning and never live up to the impossible standard set for you by the public at large. I'll take being Todd Collins who has a foot firmly planted in the real world and the world of a hero QB.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Wow!


The Trentonian is one of the newspapers of my past. I used to read the sports, and take the time to enjoy the "Page 6 Girl of the Day" but I was never one for their news. If they had had hedlines like this when I was a kid you can be sure I would have taken a gander from time to time. The only thing that could have made this headline more inflamatory is if there had been an inset photo of Andy Pettitte making a sex face on the mound after striking someone out.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Tejada traded for bucket of balls


When people ask me why I don't go to 20 Orioles game a year, like I did when I was in college, I respond with two answers. The first is all about time, I had more of it then and the ball park was a great place to burn the excess. The second answer is all about how poorly the organization is run.

Today the O's traded Miguel Tejada to the Astros for three pitchers, a 5th OF and a 24 year old AA third baseman. At first blush I thought this was just as bad as the Glen Davis deal, now I just hate it. I know they probably wanted to move Miggy before his name came up in the Mitchell Report, or maybe they believe the rumors that he's really 36 not 32. Either way, they could have gotten a bit more in return for him, like, oh I don't know, a major league ready Short Stop. "Batting second and playing Short Stop, 38 year old Melvin Mora, Mora." That doesn't sound too good to me.

The O's picked up Luke Scott who in 132 games with Houston hit 255-18-64. Scott is 29 and may actually start in Left Field for the O's which is really sad. Next on the hit list was Dennis Sarfate, a 26 year old right handed reliever who had some nice numbers (1-0 1.08, 14 K's in 8.1 IP) in his stint in the majors this year. His minor league numbers (2-7 4.52 68 Ks 47 BB in 61.2 IP) aren't as great, but at least he's not over the hill.

The deal also included two lefty starters: Matt Albers and Troy Patton. Albers pitched to a 5.86 ERA with a 4-11 record in 31 games for the Astros, 18 of them starts. He posted a 2-3 record in AAA with a 3.74 record. Patton is one of the gems in this deal. He is just 22 years old and had a combined record of 10-8 with a 3.51 ERA between AA and AAA. He also pitched 12.1 innings in the majors, posting an 0-2 record and a 3.55 ERA.

The last peice the O's received in this deal was 3B Michael Costanzo, who the Astros got in a trade themselves with the Phillies. Costanzo, 24, was rated the Astro's 6th highest prospect and had very nice numbers with Reading last year (.270-27-86).

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Now Batting, EatShitStadium


If I had my guess I would have said the Fuck You Dome was in Philadelphia not Chunichi Japan. Huh, who knew. Ok, I couldn't resist making the joke that every douche bag baseball fan/blogger will make at the expense of the Japanese ball player, Kosuke Fukudome (Foo-Ku-dough-MAY) because I'm kind of childish.

This guy is the next in a long line of ballplayers who made there bones playing at home, but want to test there mettle playing in the States. I wish him the best, and depending on where he lands I'll even support him by going out and buying a fuckyoudome jersey. Apparently The Padres and both Chicago teams are interested in Kosuke's services and I would guess that the bidding should get out of hand pretty quickly.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Best College Game of the Year


We all know that Ohio State is going to get it's butt hole pushed in my LSU, so there's really no mystery in the IA football title chase. The same can't be said for IAA (I refuse to use the new gay names) as Appalachian State prepares to defend their National Title on Friday against Delaware. On paper this game should be a white wash in App State's favor, being as Delaware didn't even win the CAA South, suffering losses to Richmond (who App beet) New Hampshire, and Villanova. The Mountaineers however, also lost a few conference games against Wofford and Georgia Southern, so they can be beeten... just not by a Big 10 school.

Both I-AA schools have their signature wins over I-A programs with App State taking down Michigan and The Blue Hens toppling Navy, who is also bowl bound. They both sport fantastic passers and runners. For Delaware Joe Flacco gets it done through the air with nearly 4,000 yards passing and 22 TDs. The Blue Hen running game is all about Omar Cuff who has racked up 1861 yards on 377 carries, and reached the end zone 34 times for the first starters. Down at Appalachian State the yards on the ground also come from the guy who gets them through the air: Armanti Edwards who Has 1750 yards passing, and 14 TDs but dose his real damage running with the ball to the tune of 1499 yards and 21 scores. Not, that the Mountaineers half back is a slouch either, as Kevin Richardson has totalled 1230 yards and another 15 TDs.

Make no mistake about it sports fans, this game will be a shoot out, with well over 90 points and 1000 yards in O. App State is scoring at a 42.3 clip, while the Blue Hens are averaging 37.3. And they are both comfortable winning a gun fight since App gives up nearly 4 TDs a game (27.1) and Delaware allows 24.1 point per game.

I'm ready to tune in to see who will score 70, and most importantly to see who will hoist the chestnut and bronze. Because that's what NCAA sports are supposed to be all about, the real trophy, not some crystal football sponsored by Sears or Visa or what ever.

Greazy's Prediction: Delaware 52-45.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Ricky Hatton is the Winner....


If the contest wasn't who is the better boxer, but who is the ugliest man on the earth, then and only then could Ricky Hatton be the champ. In a nation filled with terrible looking men, Ricky "the Manchester Mexican" Hatton (look it up) is by far the fugliest of all.

I though he had a chance to beet Floyd Mayweather Jr. because I thought he would scare Mayweather to death with his ditch face. But, alas in a defeat that lowered the spirits of white Americans and the English, Hatton got beet down.
This may be the only time I mention boxing on this blog, because I feel it is a complete and utter waist of time, let alone brain cells.

Friday, December 7, 2007

All that was missing was the Maize and Blue

Where was Scott Dreisbach? The Redskins and Bears played a game last night that started with two SEC QB's (Rexy is from Florida and Campbell went to Auburn) but may as well have ended with "Hail to the victors valiant." By the time Rex and Campbell were taken of the field with knee injures it was time for the Michigan boys to play. Todd Collins and Brian Griese were teammates in Ann Arbor at one time, but they faced off on the field in the battle of the back ups last night in DC.

Obviously Greise (pictured left) was the one with bragging rights for the wolverines. He was the one who won half a national title there in '97, but Collins (right) got the better of the match up lasts night. Not only did Collins guide his team to a 24-16 win in the battle of who can still pretend to have playoff hopes, but he had the better statistical night. Collins was 15 out of 20 for 224 yards with two TDs and no picks. Greise was 27 for 45, gaining 295 yards and a TD but throwing two picks. Lloyd and Bo would be proud, maybe not as proud as they are of the next guy in the UM QB tree, but proud.

Here's the list (Let's play "one of these things is not like the others):


Elvis Grbac: '89-'92
Todd Collins: '93-'94
Scott Dreisbach: '95
Brian Griese: '96-'97*
Tom Brady: '98-'99**
Drew Henson: '00***
John Navarre: '01-'03
Chad Henne: '04-'07****


*- Won National Title, Dad is Famous
**-Won 3 1/2 Superbowls, Bangs Hot Chicks
***- Played Pro Baseball...Kind of
****-Never Beet Ohio State, should be shot.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

If You're Gonna Take Someone Out Don't Tell Them Ahead Of Time...


Terrence Newman, you are not smart. That statement alone should say enough but I'll explain. Evidently this week Newman was remarking that Lions quarterback Jon Kitna dissed the Cowboys last year after he beat the holy hell out of them. Newman went on to say that he had 10, 20, 30 thousand dollars and Kitna should watch out if he blitzes off the edge. Why the fuck would you say something like that? If he even lays a hand on Kitna he'll likely be flagged and now the officials will be calling a tight game on all Cowboy defenders. I'm no fan of the Cowboys but come on...how stupid can you be. Do you think mob guys have dinner with the guy they're supposed to whack the night before they do it to give them a heads up? Did Bin Laden say that America should probably beef up airport security on September 10th? Of course not, if you're gonna play dirty just do it don't announce it to the world. It never ceases to amaze me how stupid some athletes can be.

Speaking of stupid athletes Jay Gibbons has to be a pretty big moron as well. Who didn't know that idiot was taking HGH? He has had Popeye forearms since the Orioles acquired him from Toronto and the worst acne a late 20 something man should ever had. Not to mention his pussy ass is hurt all the time which is another indication of steroid use. How many current and former Orioles are going to be caught by the way? Baltimore must be like the the Colombia of steroids or somethings because most of the idiots getting caught wore Orange and Black at some point. If anything this should teach kids not to use the stuff cause it's not helping the O's win!! Gibbons, you get the stiff of the week distinction from me this week.

Situation in Retrospect: Sean Taylor


It's been 11 days since Sean Taylor was shot in his home in Florida. First and foremost this situation is sad because a person lost his life, and the family lost someone they love. That is true even when a person isn't a famous athlete, but just as the good things in the life of a celebrity are celebrated so to are the bad.

What this situation has brought to light again, is that the established news media has shit for brains. In their rush for a scoop or an exclusive they are guilty of making tremendous reaches and stumbling into huge lapses in judgment. This is true when it comes to the War or regular news as well, but the sports media world tends to be more daring when they make broad proclamations. This is best summed up in one turn of phrase "Gut Feeling." While watching Comcast Sports Net DC on Monday the 26th of November we were amazed to hear a reporter say that Sean Taylor was past the worst, and he was going to be OK. When the anchor in the studio asked what this report was based on the man in the field (who was a Washington Post writer who was reporting for CSN) said "It's just my gut feeling."

I was watching with a friend of mine who just so happens to be a news reporter, and we were aghast. How could someone be so gallant as to report that a person was going to survive a gun shot based on a gut feeling from 1000 miles away? Sadly, it wasn't the last time the phrase "gut feeling" was used in the Taylor discussion. Afternoon radio douche nozzle Colin Cowherd was sure that Taylor was gunned down due to his tainted past. What did he base that decision on? Apparently his "gut feeling" and some of his black friends, namely Stephen A-Hole Smith, Michael Wilbon and Jason Whitlock. Wow, that's some real hard hitting journalism. You called up a bunch of other overpaid sports reporters who just happen to be darker than you.

Then when Taylor's childhood friend Antrel Rolle guessed that Taylor was gunned down by someone from his past (also without any material evidence or firsthand knowledge) Cowherd gloated that his gut feeling had been proven correct.

All this does is reinforce the ages old stereotype that some people are just asking for it. It is a value judgment on a person based solely on general knowledge, when what is called for is specific investigation. Basically what Rolle and Cowherd were doing was saying that Taylor was shot by thugs and he was asking for it, just look at how he was dressed, a la the notion that a slutty woman can not be raped because she deserves it. A man who has chequered past can not be the victim of a random murder.

It's bush league plain and simple, and it needs to stop.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Meeting Place


The baseball winter meetings are going on at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville this week. There is a whole lot going on down there, take it from XL, Inky and I. We went to the meetings one of the last times they were held at the Opryland, way back in 1998. We had just graduated from college, and were all working at various first jobs, finding them lacking to say the least.

We flew in to Nashville and went to all the various sessions set up to help college kids get "jobs" or internships in minor league baseball. What they really were amounted to were indentured servitude, and I use that term as a means of avoiding the s word. We were paid less then $3 an hour to work from 9 AM till after midnight doing some really terrible shit. But, we were 22 and we wanted to know what it was like to work in Pro Ball.

This time around the winter meetings will serve as a bridge to an even more disproportionate future in MLB. Word has come down that it will most likely be the Red Sox who land Johan Santana. Add to that the reported deal that would send Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera to Detroit for a bevy of prospects and the rich just keep getting richer. I have no idea who will take the field for the Marlins next year, but chances are they either wont be able to shave, or speak English.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Stiff of the Week: One Ravens Fan


As I write this at a quarter of 11 on Monday night the score is tied at 17 in Baltimore. I can only assume the Patriots will end up winning 34-20, but I hope the Ravens will find a way to prevail. Before the game we saw three Ravens players from "The U" huddled up with Ray-Ray saying the were going to go out and play for Sean. (Why all the Hurricanes on the Skins couldn't pull this off, I have no idea.)

Then, the ESPN cameras got a great shot of Ray, just as the PA announcer called on all in attendance to observe a moment of silence. Just as Ray Lew's tears began to churn up some douche nozzle with in hollering range of the parab yells "Redskins Suck." (Please note the guy pictured above is probably not said douche nozzle)


Nice.

Now, I'm not saying all Ravens fans are my stiff of the week, just the one loser, who is no doubt from Dundalk and loves to listen to Nasty Nestor on 1570. I bet they didn't even do that shit in Philly or Dallas this week, but a lot of people in Charm City have a huge inferiority complex when it comes to the District, and I have no idea why. The Ravens have won recently, which is more than I can say for the Skins, and since they only play once every 4 years or so there's no rivalry to speak of. For that reason alone the comment was gay. Not to mention that there's a time and a place to yell "Your Team Sucks." And that time is not when memorializing a dead player, it's at a party, a bar or a bar mitzvah even.

Stay classy guy in the front row at M&T Bank Stadium, your my stiff of the week.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Quoth Jim Mora: Playoffs!?!


I know I've been harping on this, and I know I'm far from the only one. College football needs a playoff, there's no way around it. The NCAA runs those commercials where they talk about the thousands of athletes that will turn pro in something other than sports, and most of them will have had the opportunity to do so after striving to win a national championship. All football players can't say the same thing.

Quick: Who's #1? How about #2-#9? I bet you would have a total different answer to that then I would, and we both would have a different answer then the BCS will end up having. I'll go on record as saying that Ohio State will get waxed by the other OSU, LSU, WVU, UGA, USC or VA Tech. Hell, I'd bet my mortgage payment on 9-3 Florida beating the Buckeyes again if they had a shot. But, they have three losses and there's no way a team with three losses should be able to play for a title. Hey, remember when there was no way a team with 2 losses could play for a title, like a week and a half ago?

Once again #1 and #2 couldn't hold serve as Mizzou and West Virginia lost last night, and the whole system is in upheaval. I personally would like to see USC play Georgia for the title game, because I think that would be the best game on the field. But, I would also take LSU vs VA Tech in a rematch (and a game involving two schools who have gone through large scale tragedies over the last few years). What is clear is we need a playoff. 8 teams in a three round tournament to decide the champ:

#1 Ohio State vs #8 Hawai'i in the Fiesta Bowl
#2 Georgia vs # 7 Mizzou in the Orange Bowl
#3 USC vs #6 Oklahoma in the Rose Bowl
#4 LSU vs #5 West Virgina in the Sugar Bowl

The winner of 1v8 (Hawai'i') Plays the winner of 4v5 (LSU).
The winner of 2v7 (Georgia) Plays the winner of 3v6 (USC)
#8 Hawai'i loses to #4 LSU and #2 Georgia loses to #3 USC to set up:

The National Title game to be played at some huge stadium the week between the NFC/AFC Title games and the Superbowl, pitting #4 LSU (13-2) against #3 USC (11-2). I'd watch that, hell I'd even fill out brackets. And enough of this bullshit about the kids missing too many classes, most of them aren't even in session in the early part of January and it doesn't seem to impact that IAA and D-II or D-III kids.

MAKE IT HAPPEN!