Mitch Williams, Allen Iverson, Randall Cunningham, Terrell Owens, Eric Lindros, Ty Detmer, Ron Hextall, Coy Detmer, Chris Webber, Chris Gratton, Alexander Daigle . . . .
This is just a short list of some of the things Philly sports fans have had to endure over the years. None of us will ever stop seeing the "Wild Thing" serve up that meatball to Joe Carter in 1993. No one will ever be able to hear the word "practice" without hearing A.I.'s whiny rant in our heads. No Flyer fan will ever understand why Bob Clarke had to bring Ron Hextall back, again, after he had traded him once. Add to this the lack of any championships since the early eighties, everyone hating us because we are such bad fans, our surly demeanor, and you'll see why Philly fans are the way they are. I mean, how many times can I hear, "Yous guys booed Santa Claus." First of all (SPOILER ALERT!!) it's just a guy in a suit, and second of all, UP YOURS!!
Anyway, my point is, now that the Phillies are poised to be the losing franchise in all of professional sports with 10,000 losses, I have detected more than a small hint of joy in the voices of sportscasters. The stench of schadenfreude is ripe in the air. The hints of smiles as they say the number, the inner chuckle that is desperate to get out. I can see it. The misery that my city wallows in make them happy.
Now, I'm the first to admit if this were any other city, I would do the same. But, come on. The Cubs can cry all they want, Cleveland can bellyache, and Brooklyn can still be pissed about the Dodgers. But, can any one honestly say they have suffered more than Philly? I would put our sorrows toe to toe with any sports town.
With that said, as the Phillies poise to make dubious history, take a small moment, look inside your heart and have some pity on us. If only for a minute. Then, go fuck yourselves.
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