Cat's Go Undefeated*

*In all games not seen in person by Greazy and Inky.

The Geelong Cats ran out to a 99 point win over the West Coast Eagles last night. The Eagles and Cats are the last two Champions of the Australian Football League, and it's easy to see in what direction each are going. With the 24.20(164) to 10.5(65) win the Cats improve their record to 21-1, but more on that later. The Eagles drop to 4-18 just two years after winning it all.

The 99 point margin of victory (the Cat's 4th such winning margin this year) means that Geelong once again finished with more points scored and less points allowed than any other team in the competition. Their 2672 points scored in the '08 season give them 238 more than Hawthorn, and an average points per game of 121. The 1651 points yielded by Geelong is 187 points less than Adelaide, and averages out to 75 points allowed per contest. All that adds up to an average margin of victory of 46 points for the "greatest team of all."

How nice for all the fans who got to see the other 21 games. You see, Inky and I were there for the "1" in 21-1. We've been following the Cats since our first trip to Geelong back in '05 and we took the time to be sure to be in Melbourne for this game on our most recent trip down under. Of all the games of footy I could see live, this rematch of one of the previous year's playoff games was the one I wanted.

So we went to the MCG and saw the Collingwood Magpies take the bark off Geelong 20.14(134) to 7.6(48). It was by far the most points scored against the Cats this year, and by far the least they themselves scored. In fact it was 73 point less than the average they normally score and 59 more than their opponents average against them. All in front of two American supporters, decked out in their Cats swag, who came ten thousand miles to see the game.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I've loved watching the Cats on Setanta and following them on various Aussie websites, but getting to hear the club song in person would have been nice. And, seeing the loss to Collingwood might not have been so bad, if they had lost another game, but they turned around and won the next 13 games they played sans Greazy and Inky, just as they had done in the 8 previous to our arrival. One thing's for sure, we won't be flying down to Oz for the finals, only to make them lose.

People of Wisconsin: Let it Go!

As you well know XL and I just got back from a trip to Chicago and Milwaukee, which was fantastic. We saw 7 different baseball teams play 4 games in three different stadiums, and along the way we saw some funny people too. While there are many great people in this area of the country, there are a few stiffs too, like this guy who just can't let it go. Brett isn't a Packer anymore people! Get over it. But they can't and that is sad.

In addition to the guy you see pictured here at Miller Park, we saw a few people walking around the Brookfield Mall in Favre Jets jerseys, and quite a few more in shop windows. I can't imagine how much it must suck to lose they guy you idolized for all these years, but I can tell you that if it happened to me, I wouldn't be following him to his new home, no matter who's idea it was.

If Cal Ripken had left Baltimore in 2002 to finish out his career with Tampa, Texas or some other team, you can be damn sure I wouldn't be buying his jersey with another team. Sure, I might have still followed him, like I did with Eddie Murrary, but going out and buying another teams jersey is ridiculous. You are a fan of your team, and sometimes that means that you become overly attached to some of the players, but that doesn't excuse this type of behavior.

We had a friend in college who loved Rickey Henderson, so much so, that he rooted for which ever team Rickey was playing on at the time. As pathetic and short sighted as this plan is, at least his allegiances never changed, because his only allegiance was to Rickey and he didn't stray until Rickey hung up his spikes.

The other main reason this guy is stiff of the week is because he is wearing his football jersey tucked into his jeans. There can be no other punishment for this than immediate and painful death. Not to mention the fact that he is wearing a football jersey to a baseball game. Douche.

Stiff Of The Week: Youth Baseball League of New Haven CT

This story is receiving lots of coverage so I'll keep it quick and opinionated. This 9 year old child has been ordered not to pitch by the Youth Baseball League of New Haven Connecticut. Is it because he was doctoring the ball? Perhaps he was wild and erratic and hit a lot of other kids.....or maybe he is just so good that none of the other kids can hit him. Yeah, that's the reason, the kid has talent and can throw the ball at 40 mph at age 9. He is so feared that an opposing team actually forfeited a game rather than send their players to the plate to face him.

I played Little League baseball as a child and as you would expect the talent is pretty spread out. You've got the kids who obviously have been practicing since they could hold a bat and glove and the ones who are either being forced to play or are just casually interested. There is always the one or two pitchers that you don't want to see because they throw hard or are erratic. But you still went up there and took your cuts. I can only imagine what my Dad would've said to me if I chose to not play in a game because I was afraid of another player.

What message does this teach the kids in this league anyway? If you are really good at something then you will be punished. Or does it teach that whining and being a little pussy will get you what you want in life. I can tell you from traveling the last 4 days that there are a lot of spoiled twenty something douche bags out there and you can see how they got that way. They were pandered to their whole childhood and when they didn't get their way the cried to Mommy until they got what they wanted.

The logical solution (other than just letting the kid pitch) would be to advance him to the next level although he could get shelled. Throwing 40mph against 9-11 year olds is one thing but at teenager would probably knock the cover off of it. Of course there are lawyers involved now and who knows how expensive this will end up being for everyone. More than likely the league will end up disbanding and now hundreds of kids won't get to play. Either way it's bull shit, if the kid meets the age requirement than he can play and play whatever position he wants. Otherwise there should be more specific criteria listed on the application. So Youth Baseball League of New Haven enjoy your time as Stiff of the Week on I&TSG blog!!

Miller Park: Algonquin for Baseball Heaven

Greazy and I spent last night at Miller Park, home of the Milwaukee Brewers. This was the last leg of our three days, three stadiums, four ball games tour of the mid west and it did not disappoint. This ball park has everything you could possibly want in a state of the art stadium. From an amazing kids section to great views from just about any vantage points you can't go wrong. There is also a Fridays in left field that serves as the left field seats. People reserve tables to eat while the game is being played. Needless to say it would be the most expensive (and longest) meal you would ever have at a TGI Fridays restaurant.

There also was a great variety of food including a stadium secret sauce for your brat which was outstanding. The "seats" we purchased were standing room only accept in this ball park there is no designated area for you to stand. You are free to roam around the field and loge level and there are areas for standing all along. The ushers are vigilant about you not sitting in the "investment of others" which would be a seat and with the way the Brewers are playing there are few empty seats to be had anyway. Regardless, Greazy and I found a great place to stand down the 1st base line that gave us great site lines. We also found a good place out in the center field bar area for some great pictures. In the end the Brewers won, the Italian sausage lost and Greazy and I have another great memory of a great new ball park. The one big negative for this stadium is there is absolutely no mass transit available to get to it. So if you're in town to see a game and didn't rent a car expect to pay nearly $50 for round trip cab fare as that seemed to be the going rate for us. Another bonus though is the Miller Brewing company tour is about a 20 minute walk from the ball park. Greazy and I did this and found it to be worth the time, especially if you're into seeing different breweries.

Miller Time!

After a day in the bleachers on the North Side and the Red Line double header the next day, XL and I took a bus north to Milwaukee to see our first game in a retractable doomed stadium. The only other indoor baseball either of us have ever seen was on a trip to Tampa with Inky and our college roommate back in 1998. This was a million times better to be sure, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

We started our day off on the Miller Brewery tour, which, while some Milwaukee residents is tantamount to climbing Everest, was quite easy. When XL and I told the concierge at our hotel that we wanted to do the Miller double she thought we were crazy. "I've never heard of anyone doing that" she said, but we found that Miller has direction cards all printed up for those who want to do the unimaginable. If you are going to Milwaukee to see the Brewers, stop by and see the brewery first, tell em Greazy sent Ys.

After our 15 minute walk to the Stadium we were struck by how tall Miller Park is. They had to make it tall to allow for the stackable roof, but the side effect is the high vaulted effect, accented by the huge wall windows beneath. Once inside, the view is that much better. The decks are short, and close to the field. All of the sight lines are excellent, and if you are there without tickets and the Brewers doing well, you may have to get standing room only like we did. If you do end up on your feet then you'll be really happy that you can see the whole park from all of those standing room areas.

The big plus to this stadium is the kids area, which you would think I wouldn't know, being as I'm a 32 year old man. But, XL and I had a good old time taking pictures with the sausage statues, the mock up ballplayers and in the giant mitt, where I played the ball. In addition to the great play area the Brewers provide an amazing array of shops, stores and eateries.

The in game experience was what you might expect from a fan base that was downtrodden for years, and has just become invigorated. There were a lot of fans in late model Brew Crew shirts, hats and jerseys who all knew their heroes well enough, Weeks, Hardy, Hart and Hall but probably couldn't tell you who was on the 1982 team. The shear amount of people in CC Sabathia jerseys show how out of touch these fans are. There is slim to no chance that he'll be there next year, but still they drop $20 on a tee shirt or $150 on a jersey.

Lucky for us the game lived up to the setting as the Brewers beet the Pirate Hookers 6-3 on a double and a homer from Ryan Braun. I hate to say it, but the only thing that was missing was a sudden and unexpected rain storm that would have forced them to close the roof to close above us. Which makes it the first time in my life I've ever prayed for rain at a ballgame.

US Cellular Sucks.....And You Know This

Greazy and I left the "friendly confines" of Wrigley and the north side of town to head down to US Cellular and the ghetto south side. Before we could get to the game we had to check in to our hotel in China Town (chinky chan chan China Town) which is affordable but small. We also had a delicious Chinese meal that we are both still recovering from.

The train ride to US Cellular was interesting even though it was only one stop down. I know this cliche is over used but it was like being in that cantina in Star Wars. Once we got off the train we proceeded to the ticket office to see what we could purchase for a reasonable price. What we found out is that the word reasonable does not exist on this side of town. They were getting $45 a pop for standing room and $31 for upper level restricted view. You're probably thinking "You've gotta be shitting me XL" and I say to you "I know...". Not liking either of these options I unleashed Greazy on the few scalpers that were about. The first guy thought he was cutting us a deal by offering us seats on the lower level for $100 each. Greazy instantly said hell no and he dropped the price by $20 a ticket. That still was out of our range so we kept looking. We ran into what appeared to be a gang of scalpers that had a roll of tickets to rival a mob guys roll of Benjamins. The best we could do there was $50 a piece for tickets in the 5o0 level which again was more than we wanted to spend. So in the end we wound up back at the ticket window paying $31 each for fucking obstructed view seats. A bigger rip off has not occurred since the O's traded Erik Bedard in the off season.

Once we got into the park we found out that because a douche bag ran out onto the field a few years back and attacked a 1st base coach if you have seats in the upper level you are not allowed to go to the lower. This kind of pissed us off because Greazy and I have strict rituals we like to follow when visiting a new ball park. We decided to go up to our seats to find the obstruction was a pole that completely blocked our view of home plate. When you stop and think about it it's kind of funny but at the time we were not amused. Chris Cheliose was on hand again to throw out the first pitch and it was Elvis night so what could go wrong. As it turns out, we found out that this game has been sold out since April simply because it was Elvis night. I guess the fans on the south side must have a soft spot for the King as they had him parachute onto the field with an American flag (no I'm not kidding) and then sing the national anthem.

We spent three innings in our obstructed seats learning where the best places in China Town to get Dim Sung (apparently a breakfast delicacy) for breakfast tomorrow. We then took to walking around the upper deck for the remainder of the game so we could actually see home plate as well as the rest of the park. It really isn't much to see and while the fans here are passionate they are also bigger douche bags.

I felt like we went from the friendly confines of Wrigley to Solitary Confinement at US cellular. I mean there is a reason the White Sox where black and white with all the ex cons that attend these games. In the end the Rays played solid ball and even after having two runners cut down at the plate in the 2nd inning managed to hang on and win 9-4. I don't think Greazy and I will be going out of our way to see this park again. First of all it's way over priced, everything was a $1 more than it was at Wrigley plus the feeling that someone was going to kill me every 5 minutes was unsettling. It was however a breath taking view of the city sky line off the smoking section in left field. All in all I'd probably say this would be like seeing an Oakland Raiders game, you'll be glad you saw it but watching your back from the stadium to your car.

XL and Greazy at Wrigley: Take Two

If the game XL and I saw yesterday was the quintessential National League game, then today was the exception to the rule. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. We started our day off by walking along the lake (I don't want to sound like a queer or nothing, but I find large bodies of water to be very romantic.) down to Soldier Field. There was a preseason game there last night, but we weren't willing to drop the extra cash to see J.T. O'Sullivan take on Kyle Orton, so we saw the famous gridiron by the light of day.

Once our walking tour was done, we headed back to the North Side and remarked how nice the weather was. Not for long. While walking around Wrigleyville it began to pour, and we were afraid we may miss our game one, or have it pushed into our game two, and you know how painful that can be. After about an hour of a rain delay the game got under way and we enjoyed Chris Chelious showing off the Stanley Cup and throwing out the first pitch to Eddie Vedder, which is like a non sequitur rapped up in another non sequiture. Once the game was on, we were treated to an 18 run affair in which former Oriole (and Delmarva Shorebird) Willie Harris cracked 2 dingers including a grand slam in route to a surprising Washington win.

XL and I really loved our time on the North Side, and now we are on our way to the South side to see if we can get some tickets to see a battle of first place teams, as the Sox take on the Rays. I don't know if the White Sox experience can live up, but I can't wait to complete the Chitown double header!

X.L. and Greazy do the Midwest: Part One

XL and I made our way up to the North Side of Chicago today to see 134 minutes of baseball action. It was a life long dream for both of us to make a pilgramige to the third of the grand old ladies of baseball, having conquored Yankee Stadium and Fenway already. We walked all through Wrigleyville and picked up some "outside nuts" to take into the game with us. What we didn't do was buy one of the funny shirts that are for sale out on Waveland Ave, most notably the "Green Gay Fudge Packers" shirt, which was about $5 too much to buy.

The Wrigley experience is an interesting one, since there are so many people like XL and I who just want to see the great old stadium. Many of the fans seem to be from out of town, and the people from Chicagoland sometimes sound like they are more interested in drinking as much as possible while ocasionally calling out the name of one of the Cubs players and then Wooing. Then again, we were sitting in the right field bleachers, so who knows what the fans will be like tomorrow when we sit in the stadium portion.

Upon entering we saw a vender selling PBR, and we couldn't pass up on that so we picked up a couple. After downing the beers and munching on our imported nuts, we had a few dogs and a brat, covered in onions, tomatoes, mustard and some crazy bright green relish. I can't complain about the eats, or the view either. Sitting in the Wrigly bleachers is quite simply, amazing. We got to see Carlos Zambrano pitch his way to a win by going 7 innings. We also got to see a fair amount of dingers, one of which was hit by Big Z, deep into center. One of the homers, hit by the Red's Jay Bruce, went right over our heads but XL couldn't come with, so someone else got to throw it back.

In the end the Kerry Wood closed it out and the Cubs won 3-2 in a quintesential national league win: 2 hours, 16 minutes. We had a blast of a time, and now know what the Wrigley bleachers are all about from first hand experiance, not just from Ferris Bueller's Day off.

Stiff of the Week: Lil Greazy

There are no words, they should have sent a poet. Sitting in my hotel room here in Chicago and what to my wondering eyes did appear, but, a rain soaked gold metal beach volleyball match. And Misty May. And Kerri Walsh. In tiny white bikinis. And obviously cold too.

Give me just a moment. Whew!

Where was I? Oh yeah the itsie bitsie, teenie weenie white translucent volleyball bikini. I think those four minute pieces of fabric should each win a gold metal. I know that they COULD play that game in board shorts and tank tops, but why? Is there any more amazing example of the female body then that of a beach volleyball player? I think not, and what went on for 45 minutes in Beijing may have bordered on porn, but it was also impressive and compelling sport. Misty and Kerri are about as dominant in their sport as anyone else has ever been. They are twice the Tiger that Tiger is, and about a million times as hot. Its a win win win win, in skimpy white bikinis, that were practically see through under the Chinese rain. Slowly dripping down those perfect abs...

Oh, Fat Tony

You know it is bad in sports, when even the cars are juicing. This week Joe Gibbs Racing and Co. were fined points and suspended for their dirty dealings in the Nationwide Series. This includes Sprint series driver and all around lovable guy, Tony Stewart.

Masking horsepower with magnets makes no sense to me, but funny, I don't really see anyone being outraged over this. I guess your sport has to end in "Ing" for anyone to care. You know, like swimming, cycling, running, things like that. We sure know no one really cares if the sport ends in ball. Football players look perfectly normal, and Barry Bond's head is naturally that large. (Okay, that one may be true)

We are all so quick to call someone a cheat, as long as it doesn't mess up the line on the game. Now, how do we react to cheating in NASCAR's step-brother? Nothing. Barely a blip outside the confederate flag set. Come on sports, get real. Cheating is cheating is cheating. A sports popularity or lack there of shouldn't matter. If we care about this, then someone has to start caring about other sports too.

Magnets as performance enhancers. I always knew "The Fridge" was up to no good.

On Deck: Chicago and Milwaukee

In our ever present need to cover sports first hand, XL and I are getting ready to do some road work this week. We are headed to Chicago and Milwaukee to see some baseball, but more importantly: baseball in August that counts. That's something we can't get in Baltimore these days. XL and I have been to 13 stadiums together (Oriole Park, RFK, Nationals Park, The Vet, Citizens Bank Park, Yankee Stadium, Fenway Park, PNC Park, Jacobs Field, Busch Stadim II, Kauffman Stadium and Tropicana Field) in addition to that, I have been to Shea and we both have been to Memorial Stadium. So, it is big for us to add three new ballparks to our list, and even bigger when one of them is Wrigley which is one of the crown jewles of baseball.

We will be updating the blog with pictures, impressions and notes about the games. We luck out a bit in getting to see 4 teams who are in the playoff hunt on this trip, even though we miss out on seeing CC Sabathia in Algonquin for the good land. Here is what we will see:

On Thursday at 2:20 central time we see Carlos Zambrano (12-5) take on Cincinnati at Wrigley. The Reds will throw Aaron Harang (3-13) and knowing the way baseball can work, they will somehow get a win in this game they should lose by 20.

Friday is a big day for us, as we will attempt the North Side/South Side double header. First up will be another game at Wrigley as Jason Marquis (8-7) will toe the rubber against the Washington Nationals. The Nats will send out another pitcher with a rubbish record in John Lannan- I don't know her name. Lannan? Lanolan? Like sheeps wool>- a lefty with a 6-12 mark. Just as soon as the Cubs game ends, XL and I will hop on the red line and head south to see the Sox take on the Rays in a possible playoff preview. For the Sox it will be John Danks (10-5) taking on Edwin Jackson (9-8).

After that long day in Chitown, we'll get up first thing on Saturday to take a bus to Milwaukee. Once we get settled in Beer Town USA we'll head to Miller Park to see Jeff Suppan (8-7) battle Pittsburgh's promising young righty Jeff Karstans (2-2).

Once the sun rises on Sunday we'll know a bit more about the crazy NL central race and have a good idea how bad the injury bug has effected Tampa. XL and I will also, undoubtedly, have gas, sleep deprivation and need of a bit of a break. That said, I'm sure we will have had a great time, and many new stories.

Olympic Hotness!

Inky and I are surprised at how much of the Olympics we've watched over the last 9 days, but there have been some compelling story lines playing out, and then of course there has also been some hotness. While Inky gets to look at all the v shaped torsos among the swimmers, it's been a veritable hard body parade for me. From the beach volleyball to the pool and the hard wood one cant help but get... hard wood.

I was watching a semifinal game on the "beach today" and Xue Chen (top right) caught my eye. Now, I've long loved beach volleyball for Misty May and Keri Walsh, who are, in my mind, sexy as hell. Then, here comes the red Chinese invasion, in the form of Chen who is 6'2" 165 and retardedly smoking. In the pool, Aussie Stephanie Rice (left)broke up with her man before she got to Bejing, and with a body like that you can understand why, the girl just wants to have fun... and win the 200 and 400 IM. No matter where I turned I was seeing hotness, like Penny Taylor (above bottom right), who is a starting forward on the Opals, Australia's national basketball team.

The backcourt isn't too bad on the Opals either as evidenced by Erin Phillips pictured left. Phillips it on a one woman mission to get on my top 5 list as she combines spectacular play as one of the Opals guards to the fact that she was the first woman to play professional Aussie rules with boys. The backside and cute face don't hurt her case either.

And so I'll keep watching the as the athletes keep racking up golds, silvers and bronze but I'll also be watching the racks. The best part is, there is just as much male eye candy, if not more, so there is plenty for both sexes. Even better then that, it is the amount international hotties that we only get to see every 4 years making them kind of like smoking hot comets, on their orbit past us.

Stiffs of the Week: All Spanish People

As I type this the US Basketball team is getting ready to take on Spain in what some people think is a golden preview. Of course the Spaniards have drawn a lot of criticism over the last week for the ad that ran in Spain showing the team all pulling their eyes back to mimic Chinese appearance. Not only did the Mens team to it, but also the women, and the tennis team. Christ! It's pretty bad when you make the American NBA guys look like choirboys, especially when you consider that Kobe raped a white chick in the ass. Allegedly...

I'd love to give the Spanish team a taste of their own medicine by mocking something about them, but as it turns out, Mexico and Puerto Rico have been doing that for two centuries now. Plus, Spain is totally devoid of anything notable to mock. When I think of Spain all I get is: Don Quixote, Spanish from "Old School", and Maximus Decimus Meridius, the Spaniard who be came a general who toppled an Emperor. My only other image of Spanish people is a slick haired Lothario who reeks of cologne and spends too much time on his personal grooming. And even that they stole from the Italians.

I Can't Stop Paying Attention!!

It was reported today that Brett Favre is complaining of a "tired arm", he told reporters something to the extent of "I'm 38 so what do you expect". Favre also said that he wakes up in the morning and wonders "What the heck I'm doing" but then he remembers that he loves to play. He also admittedly hates to study which should make for an interesting first few games of the season. After all the bull shit we've been put through because of Brett Favre I don't think he is ever allowed to complain about anything again. I'm sorry your arm hurts Brett and I don't want to hear about how you're 38 now so don't expect so much. You've gotta wonder if the Jets are now crapping the bed because the I'm old excuses are already starting on the 5th practice. I mean we're not even into the regular season and he's already talking about how old he is. I can only hope that Greazy's boys show up and slap the taste out of his mouth this weekend. I know Jason Taylor has some new moves he's been dying to show.

The other stupid NFL story of note today is Chad Johnson taking the first step to changing his last name to Ocho Cinco. I think Chad Ocho Cinco has a nice ring to it, I mean Johnson is a pretty common name after all plus he could challenge his team mate T.J. Houshmandzadeh for weirdest last name on the team

Fruity Picks, Olympic Style

*Am I the only one who finds it incredibly amusing (and ironic) that Amanda Beard didn't qualify for the 200m Breaststroke?

*While I appreciate the physics involved in the new Speedo swimsuit, I do miss the classic tiny one. Come on Michael Phelps, how about just for one race? (He is quite fit, no?)

*USA Baseball is in trouble if we can't get by South Korea.

*Someone needs to take Alicia Sacramone's shoe laces. That poor girl.

*Is it wrong that I still love Synchronized Swimming?

Down On the Farm

XL came up to my neck of the woods this weekend to throw a few back with Inky, throw the football with me and so we could go see the future of our baseball team. We went to Bowie Maryland to see the AA Baysox take on the New Britain Rock Cats. Bowie is chock full of O's top prospects and we saw more than a few of them on display.

First and foremost we were there to see Matt Weiters, who was the O's top draft pick in the '07 draft. He is a 6-5 catcher who is about as "can't miss" as a baseball prospect ever gets. In the minors this year he is hitting over .350 including .362-9-40 in 42 games at AA. At this point there is no reason he should still be in the minors, let alone AA, so XL and I wanted to get a look at him while he was still down on the farm. I've heard from people inside the organization that there is no way he will be called up this year because it would start his free agency clock a year early, but he should be the opening day catcher next year. He was 1-5 in this game with an RBI but he also had a throwing error on a ball he should have just put in his pocket and left 4 on base.

We also got lucky that one of the O's top draft picks was on the mound for last nights game. Chris Tillman came to the O's in the robbery that was the Erik Bedard deal. Along with the CF of the future and the current closer Seattle was kind enough to give us this stud of a righthander. He is still just 20 years old, but he is tearing it up at AA. After last night he stands at 7-4 with a 3.67 ERA, while sporting 124 K's in 112.6 innings this year. He went 6 last night allowing 3 runs on 5 hits wile striking out 10, all while being one of the youngest players in the league.

We also got to see one O's prospect who, while having a good year, had a bad night. Noland Reimold is a 25 year old RF who is hitting .288-19-68 in 120 games in the middle of the Baysox order. Last night, however, he was 0-4 plus a walk, while striking out twice and leaving 7 on base. All in all it was a pretty good display of the state of the O's minor league talent, and a perfect night for baseball.

Top Reason The Pre-Season Sucks in the NFL

The pre-season for the NFL is always bitter sweet. We all love to have our teams back in action and it sometimes fun to watch the position competitions. We get way to much analysis from the likes of ESPN and your local market news but at the same time it's great to have football back in the head lines....especially when you route for a baseball team that currently resides in the cellar. Listed below are the main reasons I think the pre-season sucks:

1. While watching a pre-season game the announcers always feel the need to explain that it's just a pre-season game therefore you'll see a lot of subbing in and out, mistakes, procedure penalties, and yada yada yada. What is probably more annoying is them trying to sell you on the second half by saying things like "you've probably never heard of most of these guys but this is the most important game of their life"....like I care, most of them are going to be bagging groceries next month anyway.

2. The results are never realistic. Right now, the Ravens are dominating the Patriots 16-6. This probably would not happen in the regular season. The Ravens played the tightest game of the regular season against the Pats last year but it's not likely this outcome would be typical. The problem is Tom Brady and Randy Moss didn't even suit up. Most of the Ravens key players like Ray Lewis played only a series and then there are guys like Terrel Suggs that haven't even reported to camp yet (franchise protest). Not to mention the 17 players that didn't suit up due to "injuries".

3. I think this is the main reason I don't like the pre-season: IT'S TOO FUCKING LONG!! Do these guys actually need nearly a month and a half and 4 games to get into game day shape? If they do then shame on them for slacking off in the off season. Pre-season games are a joke and it becomes worse every year. You rarely get starters in the game until the third or game and even then they might play a half. I think the players and the coaches would prefer to play meaningful games so I really hope the NFL considers dropping at least one of the pre-season games and make the season a game or so longer. I know the fans wouldn't complain and I can't imagine the players would. They already bitch about having to play in games that don't mean anything and run the risk of getting a season ending injury.

The best thing that could happen this pre-season is if Brett Favre gets into the third or fourth Jets game and gets his leg broken. Not only would that be irony for Jets fans but Favre would get a little justice for being a douche bag. As a matter of fact I think Favre has moved from stiff of the week to the official "How my ass taste" award winner for now on I&TSG.

Pack It In You Silly Bastards!!

Stiffs o' the Week. It's been a busy one.

*Michael Phelps, for growing that thing on his face. Here's hoping he shaves to "cut down the resistance in the water." (although, the body is still perfect.)

*Rams/Titans, for fighting at a joint practice. So stupid, so played out, so already done by Stephen Smith.

*Phil Mickelson, for doing what he does best.

*Amanda Beard, for thinking there is anyone left who hasn't seen her business.

*XL, for misquoting our freaking Bible in a blog comment. Compelling and Rich, indeed.

When Adolf is Right, He's Right

Who knew Hitler was a Packers fan? This may be the funniest thing I have ever seen, I'm still laughing:

*I just want to watch "Girls Next Door" but instead I have to check ESPN every second. Those bitches are so fine.

* We'll have our own fucking Rex Grosman in Green Bay! Well, no one is that bad, but that's not the point.

* It's ok, we can always sign Michael Vick

* Why not just go on Dancing with the Stars?

Stud(ette) of the Week: My Wife Mrs. XL

You may wonder why my wife would qualify for such a high and distinguished honor. She is after all not a professional athlete or famous however what she is undertaking this week is more than most men I associate with would venture to do. She is out west hiking her way through the Sierra mountains in California. She'll reach an escalation as high as 30,000 feet where there will likely be snow. She is doing all this with a 40 pound back pack on her back carrying minimal clothing and freeze dried food (no cliff bars though) while also chaperoning 15 Girl Scout teens. The sick part is she lives for this kind of thing. I mean I think I get a good work out hiking up Greazy's steep ass stairs, there is no way in hell I'd spend 10 days hiking through mountains with bears and snakes and drastic climate changes. Lets be real, there is no way in hell I could do it, I'm way to out of shape and lack the will power to survive. My idea of vacation will be described on this site in a little more than 2 weeks when Greazy and I embark on an epic journey to Chicago and Milwaukee to see baseball stadiums and eat all kinds of bad (for you) food. So I am proud to bestow this honor on Mrs. XL and look forward to her safe return from the great blue yonder next week.

Panda Watch!!

We here at I&TSG are dedicated to breaking news and bringing you exclusives. We have Brett Favre's entire itinerary since he landed in Green Bay last night. Our on-site reporters found it in the trash. Please to enjoy.


10pm: Land at airport, and greet adoring fans. Sign autographs and nod politely at yokels who came to watch a plane land.

11pm: Pick up Deanna from scrimmage. Listen to her bitch about being left alone in a skybox at a scrimmage.

12am: Hit the sack. (Before brushing teeth, stare into mirror and remember that everyone is super-psyched about my return to football. Assures self that they will forget all about those tears and sentimental musings at that press conference.)

12:30am: Sleep the sleep of the righteous and overpaid.

7:00am: Wake up and get out of bed slowly, so as not to injure self on way to bathroom.

8:00am: Meet with management and coaches to figure out the best way to tell Aaron Rodgers he has to hold a clipboard for another season.

9:00am: Console offensive line who are reduced to tears at the very sight of me.

10:00am: Pretend to run drills, while really glad-handing and mugging for the camera.

11:00am: Drink some Gatorade while "stretching."

12:00pm: Press Conference where justifications will be swallowed like chocolate cupcakes.

1:00pm: Leave camp and chill at the hotel. Spend afternoon remembering why football is so great.

M.V.C

Are you ready for what passes for football in August? If so, I'm sure you were watching the Hall of fame game from Canton Ohio tonight. The Redskins topped the Peytonless Colts 30-16 in a game that in no way tells us what either of these teams will do in the regular season. The whole weekend had a very Burgundy and Gold feel to it as the Hall of Fame threw open it's doors for former Skins greats Darrell Green and Art Monk, who should have been inducted 8 years ago, but I digress.

As for the game, when Al Michaels wasn't referring to #81 as Monkey, it was about as boring as you would expect. That is, until the Skins sent out the third of the four QBs they would use on the night. With all do respect to all the guys in Blue and White, the best Colt on the field tonight was Colt Brennan who was 9/10 for 123 yards and two TDs with the Third string. His passes were crisp and right on target and he seamed calm enough in the pocket to whip his cock out in front of a college coed. Looks like the skins have found the guy who will stand by with a backup clip board for Todd Collins!