Take it to the People's Court!!

As if we haven't heard enough about the Patriots "tape gate" scandal we now have a Jets fan with too much time on his hand filing a ridiculous law suit. Carl Mayer of Princeton New Jersey has nothing better to do with his time than to file a class action law suit against the Patriots and Bill Belichick claiming consumer fraud. He claims that the Patriots and Belichick broke New Jersey racketeering laws as well as the New Jersey Consumer Fraud Act by video taping the Jets defensive signals in a game earlier this season. Of course the league has already disciplined the Pats as well as Belichick and we have heard way to much about this story. Now we have this moron trying to gain $184 million for Jets ticket holders for all games played at Giants Stadium between the Jets and the Patriots since Belichick has been the coach.

This type of thing is what is wrong with America. All we seem to hear about are frivilous law suits that tie up the courts and our tax dollars. This guy evidently has a history of filing these types of cases. At some point I think the New Jersey Bar should look at this guys history and decide if he is doing any good as a lawyer or just wasting all of our time. So Carl Mayer, you have the official distinction as being my stiff of the week!!!

Aussie Rules Football aka Footy....Finally An International Sport Worth Watching

Last night I busted my footy cherry so to speak. As I sat here with Greazy in the wee hours of the morning I saw his beloved Geelong Cats put the ultimate smack down on their opponents. I was very entertained for the first half as the action is fast and constant. There are very few stopages in the Aussie version of our new national past time which makes it that much more entertainment. You also realize what kind of athletes these guys are when they take a huge hit but then come back and make a precise kick for 6 points. After watching this I could see myself enjoying a full season although I'm now ruined forever on rugby. Not that I ever watched rugby in the first place but this game seems to be much more action packed. Finally an international sport I can get down with!! It's about time!!! Congrats Cats it was a long 44 years!

The Cats Capture the Grail

They were marching as one on the road to the holy grail, or so said Hunters and Collectors. And last night the Geelong Cats won it by beating Port Adelaide 24.19(163) to 6.8(44). For those of you who don't know a lot about Aussie rules, that's 24 six point goals and 19 one point behinds for Geelong to Port's 6 six point goals and 8 one point behinds. That's an ass kicking in any language, in any country. And least you think that's how all AFL games go, last year's grand final was decided by one point.

The folks in Geelong have been waiting for 44 years for this flag, and now it's here. Not only did they win the the AFL premiership, but they won the VFL premiership, The Brownlow Medal the NAB Rising Star (read rookie of the year) and the Coach of the Year. They were all conquering heros in every facet of the game through out this season and now the discussion begins over if this '07 Cats team is the best side to ever play footy.

At the half: Cats up huge

I'm on the road at the casa de XL watching my Footy club kick the everloving shit out of their opponents in the AFL Grand Final. The Cats are up 11.13(79) to 4.3(27) over the Port Adelaide Power. There's still a lot of footy to play, but I may be watching the first title from one of my teams in a long ass time. So far the team hasn't suffered from having gently used Steven King (pictured above) on the pitch, nor have they seen any negative effects of Jimmy Bartell winning the Brownlow. After the game XL will let you know what he thinks about the Footy, and I will weigh in with my match thoughts.

Dance With The One Who Brough Ya

There's that old saying about not changing horses in mid stream, and yet some coaches don't seem to realize. Greg Ryan decided to bench young goal tender Hope Solo (pictured left) in an attempt to go back to the past of the US women's Soccer team. Sometimes coaches want to prove how smart they are, and in the end that is their undoing. Ryan remembered that Brianna Scurry beet Brazil in the last World Cup, and he decided to start her in goal over Hope Solo who had posted 3 straight shut outs. How's that workin' for you Greg?

Over in Australia my team, The Geelong Cats, are just hours away from playing in the Grand Final of Aussie Rules. The Cats coach Bomber Thompson has decided to sit Ruckman Mark Blake, who's played most of the season and all of the post season, in favor of former Captain Steven King. King, who's best years in the ruck may be behind him, is said to be better equipped to handle this big game. We'll see how this all works out.

It all reminds me of that classic movie... Necessary Roughness. "Maybe now's not the best time to make sure everybody's played. I haven't played, are you going to put me in? The funny thing is that movie featured a Femal Soccer Goal Tender, and an Aussie Rules player. The circle of life!

Greazy Law #1

In the first of what will undoubtedly be a long running series I have come up with my first all binding proclamation. Once Greazy has spoken, my directives must be heeded.

From this point forward no video of Ron Mexico (AKA Mike Vick) can be shown on the net, TV or in private homes unless the music from Benny Hill or Keystone Cops is playing in the background.

This guy is either the biggest fuck up of all time, or he has a set the size of bowling balls. He tested positive for Mary Jane, while awaiting sentencing for dog fighting and had the nerve to say it was medicinal. "It's for my cataracts" So it is blogged, so let it be done.

More Screwing than Bob Villa

The hits keep on coming for my good on paper, yet staggeringly disappointing Accountabilabuddies. First, LT has been an unmitigated failure. Every time I bench Favre, he goes off. Not that Deuce McAllister was getting me any points anyway, but now his bitch ass is out for the year. As I now scan that tatters that are the available players in my league, all I can do is sign McAllisters' backup, in the hopes he will now share the carries with Reggie Bush.

This is the last time I play fantasy football. And, this time, I really mean it.

Stud of the Week.....The KC Wolf

This is the funniest video of the short NFL season. The mascot for the Kansas City Chiefs for some reason is a Wolf. I'm sure that there is a good reason for this but to me it makes no sense. In most cases I'd make Kansas City my stiff of the week for this but the Wolf is a true hero. As you'll see in the video some drunk moron decided to run out on the field. While security couldn't catch him the KC Wolf stepped it up a notch and not only made the best hit of the day for a KC player he followed it up with a belly flop. He then posed for the cameras while the police arrested the moron on the field. A greater feat of heroism has not been seen since 9/11. So I hereby make the KC Wolf my Stud of the Week. On a side note I'd like to make Larry Johnson and his pathetic first three weeks of performance my stiff of the week. Come on Larry, you're making the big money now, lets earn it damn it!!!!

QB Has to Pay For Poon?

I saw this story on ESPN and it made me wonder what has happened to College Football in this Country. Antonio Henton, the future star QB of THE Ohio State University was picked up for solicitation. What has this world come to? A football player at a major Football school can't 'complete a pass' with our paying for it? I think Jim Tressel should lose his job over this. Next thing you know this kid will be stealing stereo equipment out of someones car...

Obscure Sports Quarterly

Lucky for me XL gets The Ocho. That's right! This weekend I'm taking my most recent copy of OSQ and heading down to XL's lair to watch the Australian Rules Football Grand Final, live at midnight. My Geelong Cats take on The Port Adelaid Power in a game that holds a lot of story lines. The Cats last loss (and one of only 3 in 24 total games played this year) came at the hands of Port back on August 26th.

The Cat's are also aiming to go undefeated in Melbourne this year, having won all their previous games at MCG and Telstra Dome so far. If they do win, they will also become the first Victorian team to win since Essendon did it back in 2000. That would be like as big to the people of Victoria as a Stanley Cup would be to the people of Canada after waiting since '93 to see one of their teams hoist it.

One other storyline revolves around how the Cats players will react to Jimmy Bartel wining the Brownlow Medal, which is like the Aussie Rules MVP. Most people thought the winner would be Bartel's teammate, Gary Ablett, who finished 6th in the poling. Will Ablett resent it? Will Bartel let it go to his head? Will they worry about that all later and go out and kick ass? We'll see. If you have Directv then sign up for Chanel 615 and watch on Friday night at Midnight.

Stiff of the Week: Milton Bradley

Chutes, ladders and douchebags. In 1999 Inky and I worked for the Bowie Baysox of the AA Eastern League, and a friend of our worked for another team in the League: The Harrisburg Senators. Milton Bradley was on that team, and ultimately destined to be called up to the bigs, because he can hit the ball, not because he's a nice guy.

He is the embodiment of the term Hot Head. He argues with just about everyone and that year in the Eastern League was no difference. Coming off a winter season where he was suspended for the remainder of the season for an altercation with an Ump, MB came to the EL and was and ASS. He got in trouble that year, and then had some bumps in the bigs. He keeps getting traded and you have to believe that is because he's bad news. Last night he injured himself while arguing with the Ump. Let me say that again, and clarify. Last night he was so incensed by the call of Umpire Mike Winters that he had to be restrained by members of the coaching staff, which lead to the manager of the contending Padres throwing him to the ground and injuring his knee. Wow!

In defense of the Burgundy and GOLD

Maybe it's because XL hates the fact that his team is one of the few in the league that doesn't wear man's colors, or maybe it's because he has never seen baby shit. XL Johnson bashed the Redskins throwback uniforms, which were the best thing about the Redskins game yesterday, unless your a Giants fan, which for XL is impossible since he's never liked anything that came out of New York.

Going back to the early 70's era Helmet and pants, brought to our nations capital by Vince Lombardi, was a stroke of genius by Redskins officials. Not giving your QB a play to remember in the event he winds up with First and Goal from the 1 yard line and 58 seconds to go... not so much. Maybe the fact that the Steelers wear Gold pants has blinded XL into hating any team with them. But, how would he explain the fact that he followed the Packers before 1996, and they wear the same color! I think it was just a blatant attack on my person by a guy who actually got to watch a win yesterday.

Besides XL is just jealous, because if the Ravens wanted to wear throwback uniforms from the 70's they would have to wear Browns Uniforms. We'll see what the front office people in Baltimore come up with for the Raven's 75th Anniversary... in 2071.

Throw Back the Throwbacks....

This Sunday in the NFL the Redskins and the Eagles both wore 75th anniversary throw back uniforms. I have never seen more hideous unis since the 1970's Pirates and Astros uniforms. I ask you, if the uniforms were that ugly in that time period why the hell would you want to remember them? Granted the Eagles must've had crack in their's because they put up an ungodly 56 points after doing almost nothing the first two weeks. I'll let you be the judge, both uniforms are pictured in this post, you decide if you would want to remember the baby shit yellow era of the Redskins or the I don't know what the fuck era of the Eagles...

Cats Keep on Rolling

I woke up at 5:50 am to sit in front of my computer to listen to a fantastic Football game. The Geelong Cats took on the Collingwood Magpies in front of 98,002 people at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. All that was at stake was a spot in the AFL Grand Final...That's Australian for Superbowl, mate. I started to follow Geelong after a stop in the town during our '05 vacation to Oz. So, I wasn't as invested as the legion of Geelong supporters who have been waiting since the '63 season for a flag, but I was on edge all the same.

With a minute to go the Cats had a 5 point lead, and I was literally on the edge of my seat 'till the siren sounded. The Cats were victorious 13.14(92) to 13.9(87) thanks in large part to the efforts of Brad Ottens, Cam Mooney and Gary Ablett Jr. It was a tight game through out, with Geelong holding an 11 point lead after the first quarter, but just a 5 point lead after the second and third stanzas before winning by the same margin. Collingwood surged ahead at times, but Geelongs dogged attack and fresh legs prevailed in the end. I'm on the road next weekend to pay up on my bet with XL, so I'll have to stay up late to listen to the game on the net, or if I'm lucky he may be able to get the game on his satellite. Hmm, maybe I should make a call....

Yup, That's about right.

The Boston Redsox are going down faster than Keeley Hazell on vacation in Tenerife! How is it possible that the Sox are in the process of handing the division to the Yankers yet again. We went through this last year, where it looked as if the Sox may actualy win the East only to watch them faulter in August and September.

I'm no fan of the Red Sox, mind you, but anything is better than yet another Yankee division title. The O's have no chance of ever playing ball with either team, so I choose to root for the one who is normally the whipping boy, and even though they have won a Series more recently that is the Sox. Make no mistake about it, 2004 changed nothing. I have pointed out the reasons the Yankees are going to win the whole thing this year, but I thought it would be from the Wild Card spot not as AL East Champs again. How do you get swept by the Blow Jays?

Jamal Lewis is a Fucking Stud

Oh sure, I got chastised and made fun of for taking Jamal Lewis in the 3rd round of our fantasy draft. One owner claimed I was holding on to false hope of the old Baltimore Jamal. One even insinuated that Jamal's Mom was dumb. But who is laughing now? Only two weeks into the season and I've flip flopped on him. I believe I wrote he was the same slow hesitant back at the end of week 1 when I thought my high school team could've beat Cleveland. Now I'm back on the band wagon for at least one more week!! Chicken Head nation is ablaze with hope as we go into this week 2-0 and favored over our Delmarva Peninsula rival Big Hairy Pimply Ass. So while Greazy and Inky lick their wounds because their sure fire studs are misfiring I'd like to bask in my genius of taking a chance on the running back no one else wanted....Jamal Lewis.

Donovan McNabb is a Moron

After a few days of writers block I'd like to thank Donovan McNabb for opening his mouth and inspiring me to write again. Evidently on HBO probably Real Sports (a title stolen from Greazy and I in college) he alleged that black quarterbacks are scrutinized more than white quarterbacks because the NFL as a league is behind other sports in racial equality or some shit like that. I don't think anyone denies that there was a period in time where black quarterbacks were unfairly criticized because they were black. The Doug Williams and Warren Moon's of the world can probably attest to all the hassle they put up with.

Now a days quarterbacks are criticized ritually based on performance fairly or unfairly. Maybe the fact that the Eagles are 0-2 has something to do with McNabb being criticized in the media. Or maybe he has just flat out blown for the first two weeks of the year. Look around the league, the likes of Drew Brees who is white as well as Jay Cutler or Chad Pennington have all taken their lumps two weeks into the season. It just gets old hearing the race card played in pro sports especially the NFL. It's bad enough every time a coach is fired the search for the next black coach is on and we endure months of discussion on why more black coaches aren't hired. So McNabb, quit passing the buck and play better and you might not have to deal with the criticism so much although it doesn't help that you're in Philly the city sportsmanship forgot....

LT is also a Motherfucker

After two weeks of fantasy football, I'm one and one. But, the real issue I am having with my fantasy football team is one Number-One-Can't-Miss-Draft-Pick. LT is screwing me, and I'm not enjoying it one bit.

16 POINTS!! One touchdown, which was passing, not running. I lost to a guy who had Jamal Lewis. He's not supposed to score 22 fucking points, LT is. His terrible yards per carry are going to be the death of me, if Brett Favre doesn't kill me first.

Now, I know I can't get rid of him, and I can only hope that this slow start is quick to fade. But, one thing is for sure, I didn't auto-draft him number one to have him do this. Get your head in the game LT. Maybe try some new earrings. Anything to help you score more points. Help a sister out.

Drew Brees is a mother fucker

I'm 0-2. And I am second to last in my league in points scored. I blame it all on my team captain Drew Brees. As the QB goes so goes the rest of the team. How can the Home Depot Presents Your Mom-nation have any faith in this once proud franchise with Brees' lethargic leadership? Sure Shawn Alexander is off to another slow start, and sure I can't figure out when to start Coles and when to start Branch, but isn't that all Drew's fault?

In two games I've lost 93-66 and 98-59, and in those game Brees has given me 7 and 17 points. That's just not good enough! So I think I'm going to call a meeting, at which I will make Drew put on a black and gold skirt and dance around singing "It's all my fault, it's all my fault." It may not help the team win, but it will make me feel better.

Stiff of the Week: Brian Baldinger

Inky and I are on the road today, and we got a good laugh during the Fox NFL pregame show. Brian Baldinger was reporting on the fact that Frank Gore is playing in today's game even though his mom passed away earlier this week. Baldinger misquoted Gore as saying "I would have wanted my Mom to play." We hope he meant to quote Gore as saying "My Mom would have wanted me to play." If not, maybe Frank Gore is the stiff of the week.

It's Down To 4 in Aussie Finals

It'll be Geelong vs Collingwood and Port Adelaide vs the Kangaroos next week in the AFL. Geelong and Port each had the week off after winning in last weeks round, while the Kanga's had to bounce back from a first round loss to keep rolling in the AFL finals. Bounce back they did as they took out Hawthorne 14.9(93) to 8.12(60) to earn their shot at the PA Power. Meanwhile, the Magpies keep rolling with their 13.15(93) to 10.14(74) extra time win over West Coast. Collingwood bounced the reigning league Champs a week after taking down Sydney who won it all in '05 and came up one point shy last year.

So next weeks matches have a few interesting story lines: Can Collingwood keep the swagger needed to knock off this year's favorite, Geelong, and make it 3 top teems in as many weeks? And just how many people will pack into the MCG for this game? 100,000?

Over at AAMI Stadium Port Adelaide fans have to wonder which side they will be facing. The one who played inspired footy to beet the Eagles, or they one who looked positively lackluster in their 103 point thrashing at the hands of The Cats. If The Kangaroos can pull another upset we will be assured of a Victorian champ for the first time in 8 years. Check AFL.com.au for game times and tune in on the net, like your old pal Greazy does.

Stud of the Week: Chad Bentz

I went to the last York Revolution home game of the year last night and I was treated to a pounding of the Bridgeport Bluefish. The Rev's (57-66) took down the fish (59-64) 19 to 2 in a game that became laughable real quick. For some reason the Fish Skipper, Tommy John, let his starter go and inning and two thirds while giving up 12 runs on 7 hits and 6 walks. Once John pulled Nick Bierbrodt he brought in Randy Dickin, Rafael Bergstrom and Sean Fresh who combined for three inninsgs pitched yeilding 7 runs on 7 hits and 4 walks.

The only guy who could stop the bleading was Chad Bentz, who came out with two outs in the 5th and finally silenced the Rev's bats. Ok, maybe not silenced but at least he didn't give up any runs. Bentz pitched an inning and two thirds allowing 0 runs on 2 hits and no walks while striking out 1. If you've heard his name before, let me remind you why it rings a bell. Jim Abbott.

Bentz was born without a right hand, and he pitches much like Abbott did, with his glove upsidedown on his right arm, allowing him to put his left hand in it to feild the ball or take the throw from the catcher. I am always in awe of people who don't let something out of their controle stop them from doing something they want to do. For that reason I tip my cap to Chad Bentz who's still doin' it. I hope he makes it back to the Majors one day and I wish him all the success he wants.

Are we sure it's not more like 100%

According to a recent survey the Pittsburgh Steelers have the largest percent of fans who are women. Scarborough Sports says more than one third of all women in the Pittsburgh area consider themselves to be fans. This was more than double the national average of 16%. One would imagine that this stat in some way led to the installation of Steely McBeem as the team's mascot. Until now I thought Steely was an homage to the fact that "Queer as Folk" was set in the Steel city, but now I see that they were going for a Romance Novel cover feel when they made him... or Bill Cower, which may have also been to get those Steel City women wet in their Steelers Thongs.

Seperated at Birth? Part 3

Inky and I have each come up with a few expamples of people in sports who look like other pop culture personalites. I can't believe I never noticed it before, but we came up with another one last night. Did you ever notice how much Bill Belichick looks just like Strong Bad's side kick?

The Belichick:

The Cheat:

If you don't know you better ask somebody. Or just click here, or here.

A Modest Greazy Proposal

All the national sports media have lost their shit over this Patriots sign stealing thing. It's only a matter of time before it gets an official nickname like Patriotsgate, Signgate or Patriot Games. And what are we all up in arms about? One team getting the other team's defensive play as it comes in from the sideline. It seams to me all this could be averted if they would just enable the coach to talk to one of the defensive players (probably the MLB or one of the Safeties) just like they can talk to the QB.

That way you don't need elaborate hand signals, color coded ciphers and a Rosetta stone. You can just say "Omaha, Rack Under Sting" or whatever retarded name you have for your play. Am I crazy or what? This sounds way too easy and way too simple to not at least take a stab at.

Separated At Birth? Part 2

I have long been calling Rex Grossman, the Bear's comical quarterback, Eakian. This is a character from the 1987 Mark Harmon vehicle, Summer School.

Eakian is the nerd, the geek, the one who throws up after riding the roller coaster. So you can see, it is appropriate for many reasons.

But there are some people out there who don't seem to understand what I mean when I call Rexy this name. So, here is my chance to show you.

Alan Eakian

Rex Grossman

See what I mean?

Stiff of the Week???

Who could resist comment on this picture of Mike Ditka "adjusting" himself while on camera in the booth in San Francisco last night. This photo comes to us courtesy of our friends at With Leather. Ditka is not used to being in the booth although he's got a lot of studio experience. You'd think he'd know by now that adjusting of any sort is not appropriate when getting ready to go live. Anyway I digress although it was funny.

Piggybacking on Greazy and the list of songs that should be banned from stadiums I don't see how "Who Let The Dogs Out" missed the list. That song is fucking annoying and those guys should be shot. I could also do without "Glory Days" and "All Star" even though they are good songs.

Another flop for me this weekend in football is Miller Lite's attempt at taking shots at Roger Goodell with the commissioner of Lite Beer or some shit. I can only dread watching this garbage every Sunday, bring back the refs confiscating crappy beer or the Man Law commercials!

Full Screne shot of Ditka's ball grab (thanks again to With Leather):

Jock Rock

Thanks to Whitney at Pop Candy I found myself reading Blender's list of Stadium Anthems that must be retired. We all know that there are a ton of songs that somehow found their way into Stadiums around the country and won't leave, and for the most part we now hate them even if we had liked them before. Of course there's always that one douchebag in the crowd that sings along, even if it's with the 'da na na na na naw' part of Gary Glitter. They should have their scrotum torn off like a paper towel. Here's the list:

10. “Blitzkrieg Bop,” The Ramones
9. “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” Twisted Sister
8. “Hells Bells,” AC/DC
7. “Pump It Up,” Elvis Costello
6. “I Got You (I Feel Good),” James Brown
5. “It’s My Life,” Bon Jovi
4. “Song 2,” Blur
3. “Unbelievable,” EMF and “Tubthumping,” Chumbawamba
2. “Rock & Roll, Pt. 2,” Gary Glitter
1. “We Will Rock You,” Queen

I can't argue with this too much, although I haven't been to enough games of late to know if #5 is really being played a lot these days. I don't know how DJ Casper's "Cha Cha Slide" didn't make this list, since it is not only overplayed in stadiums but it is also a giant turd of a song. It's like the 00's version of "Mambo #5" or "Macaranea."

NFL Week 1.....At Last!!

After a very long summer of shitty baseball and a somewhat subdued NFL off season (from a Ravens fans point of view)I have had this day circled on my calendar. There is nothing better than waking up on Sunday morning knowing that you are going to watch NFL football from 12pm until nearly midnight. Nothing can compare to it, the NFL makes Sunday an event every week for 16 weeks and into the playoffs.

That being said, the early match ups had some fantastic finishes and some God awful crooked scores. Lets start with Cleveland and Pittsburgh, is there a worse team in sports (the Orioles aside) than the Cleveland Browns??? After the "old" Browns moved to Baltimore in 96 and the "new Browns" reappeared in 99 the franchise is still a joke. I haven't seen so many big hits in three hours since the last Eagles reunion tour. Charlie Frye never had a chance and Jamal Lewis looked just like he did in his last three seasons in Baltimore, flat and slow. Derek Anderson was brought on for mop up duty and managed at least one touchdown but the game was a joke. Pittsburgh scored at will and Roethlisberger looked like a freaking stud which really pisses me off. In other surprisingly bad action Kansas City was decimated by Houston who looks like they may actually be for real this year. Larry Johnson was a virtual non factor and Damon Huard looked clueless as Matt Schaub had an impressive debut for the Texans. The Texan defense also looked real good and could rank in the top 5 this year if they keep on like this.

The early action hi-lite games were definitely the Redskins vs. Dolphins and Broncos vs. Bills. Washington had an amazing overtime win to beat the Dolphins only after a last second Hail Mary play came up 2 yards short. In a weekend where the Statue of Liberty play worked twice in the NCAA why not a Hail Mary. The Broncos managed to scramble their field goal unit on the field with 10 seconds left and no time outs to beat Buffalo by 1. Having recently been to Buffalo I feel for their fans who are all to accustomed to last second controversial losses. I bet Ted's Hot Dogs is hopping with buzz about this game!


The 2nd set of games was not all it was billed to be. For the first half the Bears held the Chargers scoreless and looked as if they were truly the real deal. However you can't stop LT you can only hope to contain him. He ended up passing and rushing for two touch downs and Antonio Gates had an early resurgence with over 100 receiving yards and a touch down. It's amazing Rex Grossman even knows his own name as he was crushed twice early and never seemed to have it together not to mention the two running backs Peterson and Benson who couldn't hold onto the ball. If the Bears offense can't get it going it's going to be a long season in the windy city. The Tampa Bay Seattle game was a lot closer than I thought it would be especially with Tampa suffering several injuries during the game to key players. In the end Shaun Alexander had his way with the Bucs D and rushed over100 yards and a touch down although the play of the game was a pass down the sideline from Hassleback to little used Maurice Morris. That play was genius in design forcing a linebacker out in coverage on the wing in a huge mismatch.

The game I was not surprised by although the sports media seemed to be was the win by Detroit over Oakland. Even though Oakland was home lets not forget how much they suck. Detroit has a quality offense and an improving D, Oakland is quarter backed by one of the McCown brothers and can't even sign their first round draft pick. I don't see the upset but am happy for the Lions and believe that 10 wins is a possiblity per Kitna's guarantee.

Tonight's game with Dallas matching up against the Tiki Barberless Giants should be good although I expect Dallas to win rather easily. As much as it pains me I need TO to grab a couple of catches and preferably a TD so I can wrap up my victory over Greazy in fantasy football and ensure my free crab dinner at Old Mill at the end of this month.

Tomorrow night my Ravens play in hostile Cincinatti who up until 5 years ago was the Cleveland of the NFL. I expect a close game although the Ravens are notorious for losing their opener. I'm hoping for a win and a good showing from McNair and McGahee in his debut. I also hope Chad Johnson is shut out of the endzone so we can stop hearing about the "celebration" he has planned for when he scores. He did not get into the promised land at all last year against Baltimore so heres hoping he doesn't make it in this season either. As for the 9ers and Cards, I think it will be a good game I'm just sad it is on so damn late and I won't get to see any of it. Both of these teams are on the rise but I expect San Fran to pull this one out as they seem to have more experienced weapons. However Alex Smith does have freakishly small carny hands so who knows....til next week I wait in anticipation of another glorious day of football freedom.

2 Down, 1 To Go

Around this time of year I follow three football teams. Last night I watched my adopted College Team whip the shit out of Notre Dame at Bever Stadium. I was born in Maryland and grew up in New Jersey but Maryland and Rutgers, recent bright spots aside, have been hard to root for. So when I came to PA in 1994 for college, one which didn't have a football team, I started to follow PSU. Mainly because you can't live in these parts without hearing about them every day.

The other football team I follow also beet the pants off their competitors on Sunday. The Geelong Cats obliterated the Kangaroos 23.18(156) to 8.2(50) to gain a week off to prepare for their next foe. Geelong won the regular season, and now they look as if they have a real chance to win the Finals.

But when it comes to football of any code, it is the Washington Redskins, who have been my favorite of all sports teams since I was 4. I've watched them win 3 titles in my life time and today I am preparing to watch them play the team they beet for the first one. The Skins take on the Fins in a game they should win, but knowing the Skins, they probably won't. I'd love to have 3 wins from my three football teams, but I've become a jaded sports fans (thanks to the O's Skins). If they do win, I would guess it is a 20-17 or 17-13 type game. I wish I had as much faith in the Skins as I do in Geelong, that would be nice.

Dan Conner is a big tough man Mr. Hat.

Since Inky is on I.R. we spent Saturday night in watching college football and British Sitcoms. (Penn St. vs UND and Coupling) While watching the PSU game I noticed two things. #1 The Irish will be lucky to win 3 games this year. And #2: Dan Conner is a fucking beast of a Line Backer. Every time I looked up he was involved in a play. And then there was the 11 yard sack where he not only hurt Jimmy Clausen, he hurt the whole family.

This guy is a top 10 pick with out batting an eye. I always knew he was fantastic, but with Paul Posluszny in Buffalo now Conner is free to shine all on his own. Plus, he won the lottery and cheated on Rosanne, but it's OK cause he was always good on SNL.

Random Shots: Inky on the DL, XL vs Greazy, Ripken HWY, We're #1

The NFL kicks off tonight so that is just about the biggest story in sports. I am also pumped that The AFL Finals Series starts tomorrow, the Women's Soccer World Cup starts next week and the Rugby World Cup is right around the corner. It's a good time to be a sports fan. Here are a few other things that are going on in the world of sport:

As Has been widely Reported, Angry Inky has landed on the DL with a broken fibula. I am still fucking impressed that she walked out of the forest on it, and then walked into the ER. I feel like less of a man.

XL and I have settled on our bet for our YCPFFL clash this week. The loser has to buy the winner dinner at the Old Mill in Delmar DE. As far as I'm concerned it's the only good reason to ever go to Delaware. Both of our QB's go tonight as Peyton Plays for the Delmarva Chicken Heads and Drew Brees Slings it for the Home Depot Presents Your Mom.

A part of US Route 395 in Maryland will be named after Cal Ripken Jr. Does that mean that the road can never be closed, thus missing a day or work?

The Mens soccer team at our Alma Mater have moved up to the #1 spot in the land. Congrats to the Spartans who took out Gettysburg 5-1 yesterday. The one goal came just seconds before the Spart's scoreless streak reached 999 minutes. Damn! Plus the Green and White welcomed a DI transfer in John Ports who tallied a goal of his own. Go Green!

LJ IS MVP

It's official, Lauren Jackson has won her second WNBA MVP award to go along with her Defensive Player of The Year nod she got a few weeks back. LJ may not be in the WNBA next year if her team moves from Seattle to Oklahoma City where, one would imagin, there is a smaller number of people who can tell an Aussie from a Brit.

LJ has also officially given me a boner. Chaz Michael Michaels has Nancy, I've got LJ (see the picture below). She is a monster on the court putting up 23.8 PPG and 9.7 RPG, but her biggist challange waits for her next year in China as she tries to lead the Opal's to their first Gold Meddal. That's good work out of you LJ, Oh wait, wrong site!

Inky Knocked Up!!!!!......By Nature

In a late breaking story this afternoon I was informed that I&TSG reporter Inky was injured by Mother Nature while on a nature hike alone. Why Inky was alone remains to be seen, it is rumored she was searching for the elusive "ratty blue" sleeping bag from the good ole days of YCP that Greazy used to tote around on his excursions. Other questions like where was Greazy during all of this and are Nature and Greazy in cohoots to take Inky out remain to be answered. This reporter hopes the truth is found and that the real killer I mean rock or stone is brought to justice.

From Hurlock, MD I'm XL Johnson Big Fat Dick......

Piggybacking off what XL said.

XL did a bit of a week in review since Inky and I were on that ole Country Road. What happened after he did his post? Well, the O's got no hit buy a guy who couldn't buy beer until a few hours ago for starters. This is the rookie, Clay Buchholz, who I almost saw at Fenway a few weeks ago when I was in the Hub. He gets called up due to injury and hold the O's to 3 fucking walks. Way to go out and attack the rook guys. This always happens to the O's, as XL can tell you. We've made a bunch of also rans look like CY fucking Young so when we see a kid with some actual skill I guess a no-no is in order.

Balancing out the Chi of the sports world this weekend was Appalachian State sticking it to the Maize and Blue in the Big House, and Lefty winning at the doucha bank tour stop. I guess thats something, but: NO FUCKING HITS. VS A 23 YEAR OLD? Thank god football's a coming.

The Week In Review

Well Greazy and Inky have left the shop for the long weekend to go hug some trees and do some kayaking in the cousin kissing state of West Virginia. Here's hoping they don't go down any mine shafts because I'd hate to have to run this place by myself. That being said I thought I'd put together a week in review being as I have not had time (due to my tremendously busy schedule) to post anything.

First of all we have what is being called the wrestling "doping" scandal. I love the word doping, it makes me feel European. It should be no surprise to anyone that the performers in the WWE take performance enhancing drugs. I mean the last time I came off the top bunk on Greazy with a flying elbow I was out for a month so you know getting whacked in the head with a chair day in and out plus high diving off ladders and platforms would take some sort of special sauce to keep you going. What is most amazing to me about this story is that only 10 have been caught and suspended. I wonder if Vince McMahon will just suspend them 10 at a time so as to not have to shut down operations for a month. While he's at it he should suspend himself because there is no way in hell he got his guns with honest work outs.

We also have the merciful end of the NFL pre-season which Greazy eluded to in his last post. I'm just glad none of my boys on the Ravens have any serious injuries as a result of this futile waste of time. I'm pumped for next Thursday which is opening night for both the NFL and the YCPFFL. I square off against Greazy and his boys who I should beat easily however he always manages to pull out some all star performance from some scrub who is bagging groceries by the end of the season.

Finally we have the Orioles who have become the laughing stock of Major League Baseball. I mean to be swept at home by the Devil Rays should be punishable by some sort of torture. What I find amazing though is that we get our asses beat by the lowly Texas Rangers, the ok Twins (I do love the Twins...) and the abysmal Devil Rays but somehow manage to beat the Red Sox last night. I mean they tried to give it away in the end but somehow held on to snap the skid. More amazing than anything is that the O's spent 42 million on revamping their awful bullpen and I think have worse results this year than last. At least they got something for Steve Trachsel, he was a pleasant surprise for part of the season but ultimately I think the young 3rd baseman and bullpen guy they got will be better. Anyway I believe I have to make the Orioles my stiff of the week for this past week being as they only won one damn game.

Happy Labor Day to all and I'd better not see any white worn on Tuesday......