O's Trade Ripken Memories to Yankees

First Andy MacPhail Traded Miguel Tejada away for a few promising pieces. Now, he's working on sending away the best pitcher developed by the O's system since Mike Mussina. In return for Erik Bedard the O's will get Adam LaMarque Jones (who from now on, I will only call LaMarquis de Centerfield) and a few other prospects of varying value. MacPhail is doing his best to rebuild the O's as well as restock the minor leagues to make the team competitive in years to come.

It is to that end that the Orioles have decided to trade away even more of their team. This time it's not a hot current player, or a roid addled dud that they'll be trading, it's a piece of the past. MacPhail is prepared to announce that the Orioles are trading away all iconic memories of Cal Ripken to the Yankees in return for two minor league pitchers, a power hitting 3B, and two up and coming OFs. The Birds will put these young prospects to work right away, and the Yankees will begin the long process of having all footage of Ripken breaking Lou Gehrig's streak doctored to place him at Yankee Stadium and in pinstripes. Ripken's plaque at Cooperstown will be altered, and his number will be changed to 18 (8 already retired with the Yanks) and quickly retired.

It was only a matter of time before the O's really started to break things up. Ten straight losing seasons is a lot to deal with. I just hope they don't trade the memories of Brooks to Redsox for a light hitting catcher and a lefty set up guy.

Fans Are Easily Amused

I'll admit that I enjoyed the outdoor NHL game back on New Years Day, but do we really need outdoor basketball? The Phoenix Suns are planning on playing one of their games at an tennis venue, in next year's preseason. The worst part is, I bet it will do a great rating, preseason wise that is. For some reason people are amazed when somethings context is changed. The NHL game was one thing, because the elements only served to enhance the game, whereas in an NBA game the elements can be ruinous. If there is even the slightest amount of rain the game will have to be canceled, hell they take breaks in games to mop up the floor when a player falls and leaves a streak of sweat. Now if they were going to play an outdoor game at Rucker Park in NYC in the middle of January, with the players all in sweat suits and stocking caps, I'd be down for watching that. Otherwise, the game won't be that much different, and I'll ignore it just like every other NBA game, preseason or regular season.

Where To?

I'll be heading to Chicago for a few days next week on a business trip, and I'm trying to decide how to spend my free time. Obviously I could go and see the Second City, or catch Todd Rundgren while he's in town, but I was hoping for a sports related theme for my visit to Chitown. The Bulls aren't playing during my stay, but I could visit the Jordan statue at the United center for a Blackhawks game vs the Avalanche. I like the NHL, and if you're going to see hockey it should be live, and if you're going to see live hockey it should be in an original 6 town. So that has strong possibilities. That game is on the 30th at 8:30.

Also on the 30th my menu of college games begins when Northwestern welcomes Texas Pan-American to town for a non-conference ass whipping. You can't go wrong with Big 10 games, but I just wish it was against almost anyone other then UTPA. Not much of a draw. The slate is a bit better on the 31st when I can check out one of two games in the Horizon League. First is a bit of a snoozer as Loyola (6-13, 2-7) hosts Youngstown State (7-12, 3-6). Neither of these teams are likely to be appearing in the bracket come March, the same can't be said for the other game on the 31st. That game pits Horizon leaders Cleveland State (14-6, 7-1) taking on a capable Illinois Chicago (10-9, 4-4) squad. Cleveland State toppled #12 Butler back on January 17th by a 56 to 52 count and lead the Ho by a half a game.

While in the windy city, I also plan on getting down to see Soldiers Field, and perhaps Wrigley Field if my travels allow. I just wish it wasn't going to be in the single digits with a threat of snow while I'm there. After I wrap my time in Chicago I'll be attending a behind the scenes tour of Camden Yards with one of the owners of the Orioles. Sometimes, it's hard to be Greazy, sometimes.

Breaking News: Moss will not be back with Pats in '08

Just about every team would rush to resign their talented, if obnoxious, WR just like the Cowboys did with T.O. But, that isn't going to happen with the Patriots and Randy Moss. Write it down now, on January 23rd Greazy told you that Randy Moss WILL be a free agent. After rejuvenating his career and having a season for the ages Moss has been a non factor in the postseason. And that is because the Patriots can win without him, and plan to do so in the Super Bowl and beyond.

During the regular season Moss had 98 catches for 1493 yards and 23 record breaking TDs. In the post season he has 2 catches for 32 yards and no scores. Granted the 14 yarder against Jacksonville was huge, but that only supports my assertion. They went to Moss when they absolutely needed a first down, first through the air in the Jags game and then on a reverse in the Whales Vagina game. Other than a handful of plays, they have done it with Gaffney, Stallworth and Welker, just as they will in the Super Bowl and next season.

I didn't use my inside connections at Gellette to attain this info, I used my eye, my brain and my common sense. Now, let the argument begin: Who will sign Moss? I say the Eagles make a run at him...

The Hotness in Arizona

Well, it isn't quite what any of us would have predicted. But, the Superbowl match up is set and it is still unlikely to be a close or interesting game. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at half-time, Seacrest during pre-game? Are they deliberately trying to get people to not watch? Personally, I was looking forward to the game for some hot man on man action. I may still get it, just not the kind I was hoping for.

I had long been fantasizing about the Favre on Brady Superbowl. To me, it presented the best options for good looking boys getting sweaty and hitting each other. But, if I'm honest Eli on Brady isn't half bad either. As I am the same as most red-blooded American women not named Bridget, I find Tom Brady quite fit. Eli is not quite so fit, but still cute as a button. He's not the rugged Man's man that Favre is, but hey, you take what you can get in the NFL.

So, Pats vs. Giants it shall be. A good game, not a chance. Interesting or raunchy half time show? Nope. So why watch? Why not? Maybe the Giants can pull it off. Maybe they can at the very least not get their buttholes pushed in until the 4th quarter. It's all about the beer, snacks and ads anyway. If I had to make a bold prediction, I'd say Pats by 20. Here's hoping something interesting happens that doesn't involve tits.

Studs of the Week: My College Teams

My old man went to Maryland, and I was all set to go there myself, but it was just a bit too big for me. So I wound up at York College, a small liberal arts school of about 5,000 students that cost me less than 10k a year. I met my wife and my best friend there so I see it as a win-win. So when it comes to DIII hoops, I obviously root for my Alma Mater, and I was happy to follow them to the final four a few years back, with XL at my side. As for DI hoops, I am and always have been a Terps fan. Even through the days of Len Bias' death, post season bans, and watching as UNC and Duke get all the best talent in the nation each year. That all paid off when the Terps won it all by beating Duke in the Tourney.

This weekend Maryland knocked off #1 and previously unbeaten North Carolina in a game they led nearly throughout. Bambale Osby's bucket sealed a two point win for the Terp's and likely dropped UNC to the second of third spot in the polls. Maryland has a tendency to trap one of the giants from Tobacco Road every other year or so, but it mostly happens in College Park, making this win much better since it happened at the Dean Dome. Senior James Gist poured in 22 points and pulled down 13 boards in the win. He and Osby harassed Tyler Hansbrough the whole night, and the All American posted a wretched 6-15 shooting night for just 17 points. The win puts Maryland at 12-7, but will help come selection time, where they may be on the bubble for an at large bid.

As for the school I actually went to, it's been an up and down year. The Spartans have looked great at times and have stumbled at others. Yesterday they did what you have to do to have a good season: they thumped a far inferior team. Senior All American Chad McGowan lead the way in a 91-66 win over the Gallaudet Bison at the Grumbacher Center. McGowan, who may be on his way to breaking the scoring record at the school, tallied 31 points on 15-21 shooting and added 7 boards. The Spartans now stand at 10-6 and 5-2 in the CAC which leaves them in a second place tie with Mary Washington, who they beet in December. Conference leaders, Hood College, are now playing without their beast in the middle who is academically ineligible, so that may open things up in the second half of the season.

The Answer is $186

You may wonder what the question is that corresponds to the title of this post. The question is "What is the fine for duct taping your child to the chair and forcing him to wear a jersey". Evidently in Green Bay last weekend Mathew Kowald was so upset that his 7 year old son refused to wear a Packers jersey that he duct taped him to a chair for an hour and also taped a Packers jersey to him. While Kowald was doing this his wife was taking pictures with her cell phone. The next day she notified police of what occurred and Kowald was arrested. He was held in county jail until Wednesday where he was arraigned, pleaded no contest, and charged a fine of $186 before he was released.

Wow, $186 is all you have to come off of to traumatize a 7 year old these days. This should be inspiration to abusive parents everywhere that while it would be inconvenient to stay two nights in jail you can be out on the street again in two days and not even spend 2 Benjamins. We hear stories all the time about parents who spank their kids in public places being threatened with having their children taken away from them yet this guy ties his kid up for an hour while his wife watched and he only has to pay $186. What makes this even better is the DA was quoted in the article as saying "legally a parent can restrain a child". Really??? I honestly did not know that. I have no kids and would never "restrain" one but come on, all the stuff we see and hear on the news and now it's legal to restrain your child? Of course the father is full of remorse, he is quoted as saying "I didn't mean no harm and he knows that" heart felt words from a real stand up guy. I think a fitting punishment for this guy would be to duct tape him in an Eli Manning jersey and make him sit in the Giants locker room while Michael Strahan and the rest of the Giant D line get showers.

Congrats to Coach Knight

There are a whole lot of people who hate Bobby Knight, I am not one of them. I think it is perfectly acceptable for a coach to be tough on his players as long as he is doing it to help shape them into good men or women. Every year, Knight seems to win 20 games, make the Tournament and most importantly of all: churn out college graduates. That should be one of the main jobs of a college coach, but in DI is often falls by the wayside. By in large, Knight has produced some great players, but many more great men (excepting of course Isiah Thomas).

Last night Coach Knight won his 900th career game as a coach. What began in the mid 60's and spanned jobs at Army, Indiana and Texas Tech ended up in a game in Lubbock that pitted Knight's Red Raiders against the #10 Aggies of Texas A&M. Even though they were underdogs on their home floor, Knight's team won the game and gave win #900 to their coach. He is now 21 wins clear of Dean Smith, and shows no sign of slowing down.

In his career Knight won national titles in '76, '81 and '87 (and damn near won another in '75 if Scott May hadn't broken his arm) and he also won a Gold at the '84 Olympics. He coached big names like Thomas and Keith Smart but may be best known for helping to launch the coaching careers of Mike Krzyzewski (who played for him at Army) and Steve Alford (who played at IU). But, today he stands alone as the only person to win 900 games in the NCAAs top tier. Congratulations Coach, that's good work out of you.

I Guess It Was A Good Trade After All

Even though the Orioles only got what amounted to a bucket of balls from Houston for short stop Miguel Tejada it looks like that bucket will be less of a distraction to a team already embroiled in embarrassment. Congress is debating on whether it will pursue charges against Miguel Tejada after he was named in the now infamous Mitchell report. Tejada who spoke to Congress in 2005 had said at that time that he had never taken a performance enhancing drug and that he did not know any players who did. The second half of that comment was obviously a lie, I mean there can't be a Major League player out there that doesn't know someone using this stuff.

Now Tejada could face perjury charges just like Barry Bonds out west. What would make this even more ironic is if the truth comes out that he was lacing his B-12 shots. I bet Rafeal Palmeiro is watching with bated breath for the results of any future investigation. You have to admit that if Tejada did in fact sell Raffy a tainted B-12 shot that he would be vindicated at last. Of course you can't undo two years of bad publicity and Palmeiro has yet to apologize or admit that he knowingly took a performance enhancer.

It will be interesting to see how this affects the Astros who of course are no stranger to players using the juice (see Ken Caminitti or Jeff Bagwell). It doesn't make me feel any better knowing that Tejada likely used however it is nice to know that at least he will not be in the head lines as a Baltimore Oriole anymore.

Pac Man Slaps A Ho

I guess it has been a month or so since anyone talked about Pac Man Jones so he figured it was time to get his name back in the paper. It is being reported today that Jones "sucker punched" a woman at an Atlanta strip club on January 3rd. Jones was a patron at the Body Tap Strip Club in Atlanta when he accused the manager of stealing his money and his bracelet (reportedly his grand mama gave him that bracelet). I guess Jones wasn't armed this time so he couldn't shoot up the place however was able to get in the alleged sucker punch to the victims left eye.

You've gotta ask yourself if your Pac Man Jones at this point "Why am I still going to titty bars?" I mean every time he goes he makes the news. Also, how much money does this idiot spend going to these clubs? I'm all about a good time but I think Pac Man may have a problem. Even though he is a giant douche I'm sure there are chicks that'll get with him for free without him having to "make it rain" or smack them around. Can you imagine what a conversation with Pac Man and his posse must be like about 10:30 every night:

"Yo Pac, whatcha wanna do tonight?"
"I don't know, maybe go to a titty bar and pick a fight."
"Yo that sounds good to me, I'll get the Escalade."

I'm sure that's not verbatim but at this point it's got to be close. We can only hope that commissioner Goodell upholds this dumb asses suspension for another season or that the Titans are smart enough to cut his ass. Obviously they don't really need him being as they made the playoffs this year without him.

Show of hands: Who's Surprised?

Drunks should stay out of bars, junkies should stay off the streets of Baltimore, Roger Clemens should avoid MLB trainers and Pacman Jones should just stay away from tittie bars. What does he think is going to happen to him when he goes to these joints? He sure as hell isn't capable of folding a dollar across the bridge of his nose, so a stripper can pick it up with her butt cheeks, like a gentleman does.

The story is all over, about how Jones allegedly punched a Lawyer in the face at an Atlanta area flesh farm. One would have to believe that this may be enough to lose him his sweetheart deal out in Vegas, and cost him another season or two in the NFL. Why haven't the Titans cut him yet? If you've even been accused of hitting a woman more than once in your life you should be stripped of your ability to earn tons of money in the pros. If convicted, Jones should be forced to spend 2 years working as a dancer at a gay bar. I think it's tough but fair.

T.O Wanted to go to Mexico, Too!!

I guess it is easy to see why T.O defends Tony Romo. He's a QB who can't win in the playoffs, and comes up short when the chips are down and doesn't get him the ball for the big play. T.O. loves that. Doesn't he?

But, what about this quote about McNabb?
"Donovan had time to get the ball to me. … Donovan ignored me, he ignored Coach Reid's design."

And, this about Jeff Garcia.

"Like my boy tells me: If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat."

So, where is all this emotion and love coming from with T.O.? Could it be that Tony Romo is the one? T.O. finally found a quarterback to love and who would love him back. They looked unstoppable together earlier this year. Connecting for touchdowns, no drama with the media, no overdoses, just good times. It all looked so easy.

Fast forward a few months.

T.O. gets hurt, Romo plays like a bitch, but T.O. sticks by his man. Then, it was Carrie, and still T.O. defended. But, Jessica Simpson, he couldn't handle. His jealousy bubbled over, and he was making comments to the media faster than you can pop a pill. She stopped showing up to games, and we thought that was the end. But then, they jet off to Mexico. And, to add insult to injury, Jason Whitten gets to go along too.

What is T.O. to do? Sit-ups in Romo's drive way? Curse his name in the papers? No, he does what a person who is truly in love does. Stands by their no-good man, imploring for him to be left alone. He makes excuses, he defends his good intentions and he cries. Cries behind his big ass sunglasses. This may be the most sincere display of emotion we have ever seen from Terrell Owens. Tony Romo broke his heart. But, he still believes they have a chance. That is so sweet. I say, cry on. Someday he'll see how great you are and come back. Until then, stay strong T.O. Stay strong.

Where in the World Is Steely McBeem?

Way back in August Inky introduced you to Steely McBeam who is the Steelers new mascot. We all universally agreed that he was super gay, and quite possibly the worst thing to happen to Pittsburgh football since Big Ben drove into a Buick. I watched all or parts of at least 7 or 8 Steelers games this year (not my idea, just what I end up with living in PA), and I never once saw Faggy McRod on the sidelines. What's the deal?

Are the people of Pittsburgh ashamed of their mascot? If they are, no one would blame them, but ask yourself when was the last time you watched an NFL game and didn't see the mascot? I thought for sure you would see Steely waiving that big stuffed girder behind the uprights during field goals and extra points, but I never did. Maybe Steely was just too afraid of walking around on that poor excuse for a field they have in Pittsburgh and is relegated to the stands, but, I still find the whole thing odd. Oh well, I guess I'll never know.

Greazy's Picks

Remember: you can pick your nose, and you can pick the Patriots, but you can't pick Tom Brady's nose... or you'll get the shit kicked out of you by the O-Line. Here are my picks for this weekend's playoff games. As Inky has already stated, we don't fuck around with point spreads here at I&TSG, so these are outright picks. Also, Inky has invented a new term that I am going to continue as I pick my "Dead Bolt Lock" pick of the weekend.

Whale's Vagina @ Colts: Sure the Chargers were one of the teams who took out the Colts this year, but that was on a day that the boys from Indy only had a bakers dozen of healthy players on the O, and Peyton threw 6 picks. Even after all that, Indy still should have won if the idiot kicker had made a chipshot. Greazy says: Colts 31-17.

Giants @ Cowboys: Here it is, my "Dead Bolt Lock" pick of the weekend. I don't care if TO is healthy or suicidal, it won't matter. The G-strings will take the Cowgirls down in a hotly contested game. Romo will have a good enough game, but the New York rushing game, and D will take the 'Girls down, not Eli. Greazy says: Giants 20-16.

Jacksonville @ New England: I have the strangest feeling that the Jags could win this game, and I certainly think it will be closer then most people are predicting, but in the end, I'll relent and say the Pats keep marching on. Greazy says: Pats 34-28.

Seahawks @ Packers: As a Skins fan, I don't have the highest opinion of the Seahawks at this point. Sure they won by 21 (nice of the skins to honor Sean Taylor again by the way) but that game turned on a missed chip shot field goal. Look for Brett Favre to have a big game, but the star of this show will be Ryan Grant. And to think, for the first few weeks of the season people busted on Green Bay for not being able to run the ball, not it's Seattle that can't gain ground yards. Greazy says: The Pack 27-13.

XL's Playoff Picks

As previously stated by Inky we are slack mother fuckers and did not pick any games last week. That being said we all got them correct anyway so we didn't feel the need to post them ahead of time. As for this weekend there should be some pretty good match ups. Here is what I think will go down:

Seattle vs. Green Bay: Not being much of an NFC guy it's hard for me to call this game. I watched Seattle catch a big break last weekend against the Skins and parlay that into a victory. I am a huge Brett Favre fan (although I could care less what kind of salad dressing he may or may not bathe with) so I am going to go with Green Bay in this game. Mainly because it's a home game and I think the Packers are a better team overall than the Seahawks who seem one dimensional. Seattle does play good passing defense though so I believe it will be a close one.

Jacksonville vs. New England: I would love to pick the Jaguars for this game because I do think they have a chance at winning however at home and with the likely hood of playing Indy next week I think the Pats pull it off. The Jags have what other teams that nearly beat the Patriots have which is a good running game. Baltimore exploited New England's run defense as did Philadelphia and the Giants. The Jags also play tough D but need to keep their O on the field if their going to have any chance at winning. I want to think this game will be close and am praying for bad weather to aid the Jags in their cause.

NY Giants vs Dallas: This is another game that is too close to call. Dallas has not played well over the last few weeks possibly because Tony Romo can't stop thinking about Jessica Simpson's luscious rack. Plus T.O. may or may not be 100% which could play a factor. We also don't know which Eli Manning will show up. The Giants are not a picture of consistency and beat a pretender Tampa team last week. I'm going to go with Dallas at home as long as Jessica Simpson stays home!!

San Diego (Whale's Vagina) vs. Indy: This game to me should be a pretty easy win for Indy even though they lost earlier this year to San Diego. During that game Indy was only playing with 16 total healthy offensive players. You can bet with that offense being healthy the Colts will be on a roll. As long as Indy special teams don't' allow returns for TD's and Antonio Gates doesn't play (which he is fore casted not to) I think Indy should win this one going away. You could say this is my "Lead Pipe Lock of The Week".

So that leaves Indy at New England next week as well as Green Bay at Dallas next week. Both rematches of great games from earlier in the season. Check back next week for picks in what I believe will be these two games.

My Playoff Picks, about a week late

Greazy, in all his infinite wisdom, thought we should do playoff picks before the Wild Card Weekend. We didn't. We are some procrastinating mother fuckers. So, I decided to do it now, before the big guns start to play.

Let me be the first to admit, there really is only one solid, dead-bolt lock (or whatever the fuck they call it) in this whole thing. That is the New England Patriots will most likely push in the buttholes of any and all who come their way. But, hey, why not take a stab at it anyway?

Colts vs. Chargers - My love for Peyton Manning and his body really makes me want to say Colts without hesitation. So I will. Colts win. And, no you degenerate gamblers. I don't pick points or spreads. Get it together and go outside. Not everything needs to be wagered on.

Giants vs. Cowboys - Oy. This is a tough one. Raised near Philly, the best I can say is that I hope they all get Gonorrhea and die. But, if I must choose, I say Giants. T.O. has 80 million reasons to suck my butt.

Patriots vs. Jaguars - As stated above, I think we all know how this one will turn out. But, hey. I'm kind of a bitch, so I'll say Jacksonville. From my lips to God's ears.

Packers vs. Seahawks - Oh, come on now. Seahawks? Please. Packers. All the way. No question. Brett Favre, in a sauna with a bottle of Thousand Island Dressing. I'm sorry, what were we talking about? Oh right. Playoffs.

So there you have it. Packers v. Giants. Colts v. Patriots. That is how it will shake out. Think I'm crazy? So be it. We'll see.

Stud of the Week, Old School Style

I know it is only Tuesday, but my stud of the week is clear. Michael Wilbon, you win. I enjoy your show, Pardon the Interruption, on the daily. But, today, you did something so amazing, so spectacular, I had to mention it. You brought back a word that had been living long dormant in society. That word, is skeezer. I'm sure some of you are familiar with it, may have even used it a time or two. But, Skeezer and its many forms (skeeza, skeez, skeezah, skeezy, etc.) have fallen out of favor lately. I say, Kudos, Michael Wilbon, for trying to bring it back. It will be back in my slang wagon for weeks.

So, skeezers everywhere, rejoice. Now, you can take it back.

Catch a Tiger By His Toe??

Just when you think the most ignorant thing a sports announcer can say has already been said along comes Kelly Tilghman of the Golf Channel. Apparently during a broadcast last Friday she said that "young golfers should take Tiger Woods to a back alley and lynch him". What the hell possessed her to say such a ridiculous thing is beyond me. Her claim was she was trying to be funny. I have a pretty open mind and what I consider a pretty good sense of humor and I don't see how this can be considered funny. Tilghman was a stand out golfer for Duke University but has never played on the LPGA tour. She was filling in on the broadcast for The Golf Channel and for some reason was allowed to work the rest of the weekend. An apology did not come until Sunday as she allegedly "reached out" to Tiger Woods people.

You've gotta feel bad for Tiger, you've got Fuzzy Zoeller years ago saying that he hoped he didn't win the Masters because then he'd have to eat chicken and watermelon at the winners dinner. He's always under constant scrutiny if he doesn't win or come in second plus the paparazzi are always trying to catch he and his wife in some elicit act. He's had it rough although I'm sure he sleeps well at night with all the millions of dollars he rakes in. What is more concerning is that this story just surfaced today. If someone of more fame had said it or if it had happened on a real network everyone would be up in arms about it and calling for the announcers firing. Just goes to show you that it isn't what you say but how famous you are when you say it....

We Need a New System

The Baseball Hall of Fame vote was announced today, and only Goose Gossage got in. What is more ridiculous than who didn't get votes (Lee Smith, Jim Rice and Don Mattingly) is who did get votes. Rod Beck Travis Fryman and Robb Nen each got two Hall of Fame votes. Shawon Dunston, Chuck Finley, David Justice, Chuck Knoblauch and Todd Stottlemyre each got one Hall of Fame vote. These are HALL OF FAME VOTES people! It's not like we are talking about a hall of pretty good, or a hall of had that one great season. This is supposed to be the biggest and best names that ever played the game. In thirty years will anyone know that Travis Fryman was the name of a pro baseball player, or will they just think he was a guy who worked in a McDonald's?

The people who vote for these things need to make up their minds what is and isn't acceptable when voting. If relief pitchers like Gossage and Bruce Sutter can be in the Hall, how come Lee Smith isn't getting more votes? For that matter, if a position like closer gets acknowledgement for the Hall, even though it didn't really come about until the 70's, then how about the DH? Where is Harold Baines' love?

I don't know what we can do to make the writers start to take this process seriously, but I would say making their votes public would be a step in the right direction. I can tell you that I would never read the column of a guy who wants to try and tell me that David Justice is one of the all time great players. And that's what a Hall of Fame vote is saying, it is a writer saying that he thinks a player was either an all time great or not.

I've said it before, and I hate to keep harping on it, but we can let a year or two go by without putting someone in. Every person who is elected makes it a bit more crowded in there, and at some point we're going to have to begin to differentiate between the great players and the all time great players. Maybe the time has come to institute a "Legends of the Game" tier to the hall, for which a player wouldn't be eligible until 25 years after his induction to the hall. It is only with the clarity of distance that we can see who was really one of the best of their era, and that would allow us to distinguish the Hank Aaron's from the Billy Williams'.

Triple Play: Who's Surprised?

Ohio State got their butthole's pushed in just like we all said they would. Roger Clemens went all Linda Trip because he's guilty as sin, and Joe Gibbs pulled a detictive Murtaugh and said "I'm too old for this shit." Let's take 'em one at a time:

1)Had Georgia or USC had a crack at OSU they would have taken them apart just like LSU did. It's time we all come to the realization that just because the Big 10 and Big XII were our daddy's favorite places to watch college football doesn't mean they are the preeminent conferences any longer. Yes, from time to time things will break right and a team from one of those conferences will win a title, but The SEC, and USC are the odds on favorites to win the title from now on out. That is, unless all the Big 10 schools build domes and they can attract the speedy talent who opts for the south and west now.

2)Anyone can sound like a saint when they know the phone conversation is being recorded. Only a desperate, guilty and calculating cockhole tapes a phone call to try and clear himself. As I said back on December 28th, The Rocket doth protest too much, me thinks. I know it may seem like a lose-lose situation for these guys: Barry Bonds says nothing and we think he's guilty, Roger shouts and pounds his fists and we think he is also guilty. But, here's the rub: we have reason to think they are guilty.

You just don't get that much better late in your career without help. And, in Roger's case at least, there is absolutely no reason to believe that Brian McNamee has anything to gain by falsely accusing Rocket. Those tapes show how destroyed MaNamee is by this whole thing, and that is probably because he liked Roger and didn't want to roll over on him. But, when the government has you by the short and curlies you have to do what you have to do. If they had anything to hold over Greg Anderson he would be singing too.

3) Joe Gibbs got the perfect opportunity to do what we all thought he needed to do: exit gracefully. His legacy is secure in this league, because even though he didn't win another Super Bowl in his second stint on the Washington sidelines, he did take his team to the playoffs in two out of four seasons. There are a lot of other coaches who can't say that over the past four years, and many of them still have jobs. Gibbs is 67 years old, he has a sick grandson, and wasn't going to be in DC after next season even if the Skins won it all.

So Gibbs has chosen to step aside now and let the team move to the next chapter in their history right away. After the up and down nature of this season, a bit of a change may help the players on the team. It is my belief that Danny boy will just end up promoting Greg Williams to head coach and go into the season with much the same coaching staff. Sure, he'll consider Bill Cower, Pete Carroll and my personal pick, former player Russ Grimm, but in the end I think he'll opt for continuity.

So in the end three things happened over the last 24 hours that are in no way shape or form surprising. And that warranted a blog post how?

A Few More Rule Change Suggestions

Inky's post the other day about rules the NFL should implement for next year got me thinking about some other sports that need rule changes. For example, I think more sports could make use out of a penalty box. I'd love to see Major League Baseball use a penalty box as a warning for guys who want to argue with the ump accept instead of the box being in the dug out it would be in the opposing teams bull pen or something and fans would be allowed to throw beer on them.

As for the NBA I think a penalty box could be useful instead of tracking fouls. Any time you can get a man advantage you are in good shape. Speaking of a man advantage I also think that once a team reaches 100 points in an NBA game they should be "kinged" meaning they get to play with an extra man for the rest of the game. That should be incentive enough for teams to play defense. While I'm dreaming I'd like to also add a line backer or some sort of obstacle involved while putting at golf. I've always been partial to a clown's mouth or pirate ship.

Stud of the Week: XL

When one teammate is out of the line up it is imperative that other's on the team rise to the occasion, and that's just what XL did this weekend. With Inky out of town, and me no longer drinking, it fell to XL to bare the brunt of the drinking duties during the football games. Normally Inky would have 6 or 7 and XL would have 8 or 9, but this case wasn't going to drink itself, so XL stepped up.

Throughout the course of the first game he held a three beer a quarter pace nearly till the end. After downing 11 beers in the first game he backed that up with 5 in the second game to finish with an astounding total of 16! Not to mention the pound and a half of "Greazy Tony's Famous Wings" that we each ate between games.

It was a performance worthy of XL's already impressive stature in this town, and one which earned him Stud of the Week!

Is the "Ocho" on the Horizon???

As I was perusing the Internet for sports news the other day I came across an article about the World Series of Beer Pong. Being a former All PA State Beer Pong player in college I had to read about this phenomenon. Apparently Las Vegas (where else) is the host of this tournament which now nets a top prize of $50,000. You may wonder, XL how do I qualify to compete? Do I have to beat out a group of girl scouts at a local YMCA? The answer is...well maybe if those scouts are 21. There are satellite tourneys all over the country that allow you to qualify for the main event in Vegas. I believe you can also register on the website and pay an entry fee so it is similar to the World Series of Poker. What is funny is a town near where I live runs beer pong tourneys once a month, I now need to find out if they are affiliated with World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP). The tourney this year is still going on, actually today is the last day of competition so two guys or gals are real close to hitting that top prize of $50,000.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with this "sport" you play in teams of two each trying to throw a ping pong ball into your opponents cup. Each team has 6 cups set up similar to bowling pins. As a ball is sunk the opposition must chug that beer. First team to clear all 6 cups wins plus the losing team must finish the beer in the winners cup as penalty for losing. There are many variations on technique and more specific rules but that is the basic goal of the game. As previously stated in college I was the fucking man at this game. I lived at the pong tables while Greazy was out chasing women (I already had one) and became legend in York College lore. I've since become very rusty and should go out and play some randoms, you know to mix it up and keep me fresh. Although finding a partner is no easy task. You need someone who can hold up their end of the deal. I had a great partner in college, my third roommate Big Wayne who is rarely mentioned on this site. He would start out the evening trolling for chicks and when he came up dry came to play with me. He of course now lives damn near to Cuba with all the retirees and people who have no sense of how hot it really is in Florida.

As for the tournament it actually started in the 90's for I believe $5,000 or $10,000 but is now at $50,000. The same amount needed to save Average Joe's gym in the movie Dodgeball. If only there were a crazy guy in a wheel chair willing to retrain me (if you can chug my piss you can chug a beer) and a bar named the Dirty Sanchez in my town. I don't think this event is getting TV coverage anywhere however as the title of this post states one can only wonder how much longer before ESPN starts up the Ocho with Cotton McKnight and Pepper Brooks calling play by play along with those Beer Pong Dancers....

Oh Matt Vasgersian You Card…

How do you not laugh your ass off at this? I’m a 31 year old man and when I hear any of the following words phrases in a square contest it makes me laugh:

Dirty Sanchez
Ball Handler
Taint
Dingle Berry
Put it in the hole
Slick Balls
Took it on the chin
Money shot
Etc…

Better Than A Bowl Game

Unless I get to watch the two best College teams play today, I'm not all that interested in this year's crop of New Years Day bowls. So Inky and I came home from spending the morning out and watched a Hockey game instead, and I'm glad we did. We don't talk a lot about hockey here on I&TSG but Inky is a Flyers fan and I just like the sport in general. It really is a great game when there is a lot of excitement around a game. Unfortunately you don't get too much scheduled excitement in regular season hockey. You never know when that great goal will be scored, when a goalie will stand on his head and throw a shutout or when a game will feature a fight or a shootout, two of hockey's great spectacles.

Today's game was different, however, in that it's very existence was a spectacle. For just the second time the NHL hosted a game outdoors, and it lived up to every possible expectation. When the game between Buffalo and Pittsburgh began it was already snowing. The 70,000 plus fans were as loud as you would ever hear them at a Bills game and the players all had the glow of young children on their faces.

Buffalo got behind right away as Sydney Crosby assisted on a great goal. The ever changing condition of both the ice and the weather made for a game that was always in a state of flux, but never short on excitement. The Sabres tied the game at one, and after a physical 3rd period and OT, the game went to a shoot out. Each team made a spectacular goal, and it all came down to the superstar: Crosby, just like it should. Crosby beet Buffalo net minder Ryan Miller, who played for the Spartans in that outdoor game back in '01, and the game was over.

The NHL did absolutely everything right in this game, right down to the throwback uniforms both teams sported. I hope the game did well, and I hope we will see it become a New Year's day tradition.

Stiff of December: XL

It's been quite awhile since I've done any sort of posting on this site so I am declaring my self not just stiff of the week but stiff of the month of December. I really haven't had a lot of positive things to write about as a primarily Baltimore based fan plus the holidays are always a distraction. Mrs. XL and I also had a little anniversary so I was unavoidably detained for about a week. Excuses aside I will now make some observations:

On the topic of the Ravens firing Brian Billick and by default his entire staff I can't decide how I feel. There are the pros that indicate a change was needed and Billick's message was growing old with the players. There is also the matter of never having a decent quarteback in his tenure as head coach when he was supposed tbe an offensive genius. That is a totally different post though because Billick was not provided with the tools he needed for a good offense. The cons are now we have to go through a bunch of shit hiring a new coach (who'd better be Rex Ryan) and then speculating on how the players will react when we should be focusing on how to use our top 10 draft pick we earned by stinking up the league this year.

As far as the rest of the league and all the hype and hupla about the Patriots "march to perfection" I'm done with it. If they make it to the championship game (and I don't know how they'll do against Jacksonville) I expect the Colts to not shit the bed this time and hold onto the lead. They should be healthy and motivated to reclaim their title as the best team in football. On the NFC side I'd love to pull for Greazy's Skins but I have a feeling it's going to be the ageless one in Green Bay that emerges. Either way the likely real Super Bowl will be played in the AFC championship game.

There is not a lot of excitement or hope on the horizon for the Orioles so I don't expect to be writing a lot about them. I find it humorous that I got a post card in the mail this week offering me the chance to buy early bird seats because I'm such a loyal fan. Maybe if I got a syringe full of HGH with my purchase I'd consider it....