I'm not having the greatest time with my fantasy team this year. I won last week, but when you're banking on a rookie RB and a group of never will be's at WR it's going to be a long season. I thought I may have caught a break when Travis Henry tested positive for mary jane, and rushed to pick up Selvin Young, but he was already taken.
My cousin has Henry this year, and his season is now floating in the bong water, threatening to sink. They guy who picked up Young, Henry's back up and former Longhorn, is the very same guy who lost out when Rickey Williams tested positive for weed a few years back. When it comes to pot and fantasy football, it's easy come, easy go. Why should these players transgressions end up hurting our fantasy teams. Indeed, why aren't these players faults and mistakes the basis for our leagues. Drum roll please....
Inky and the Sports Guys proudly presents: The Fantasy Felons League! You get to draft any player from the world of sports, and you receive points when they fuck up. You get one point for every $5,000 they are fined, and 10 points for every game they are suspended for. Because this is not a court of law, you also get points when a player is just charged with a crime. Here's a break down:
- DUI: 10 points
- Simple assault: 15 points
- Vehicular Manslaughter: 25 points
- Domestic Abuse: 25 points
- Possession of a weapon: 30 points
- Discharging a weapon: 35 points
- Drug possession: 35 points (with intention to distribute doubles the points)
- Positive Drug test (Performance enhancers or Recreational) 40 points
- Aggravated Assault: 50 points
- Manslaughter: 60 points
- Murder: 100 points
- Dog Fighting 1000 points (cause you gotta be pretty dumb to go down for this again)
Once again, you can take any person from the world of sports, and the season runs over the calender year. The Draft would take place on or about December 15th, and the season kicks off with the NFL playoffs, the NBA and the Baseball preseason steroid test-a-poluza.
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